Damned with faint praise.

delightful lady

Being overweight doesn't mean dowdy. There is a delightful on Come dine with me this week who is a little round but is full of laughter, wit and fun. She has a wardrobe full of kaftans and wears nothing else. Her personal vibe is catching, you cannot fail to be charmed by her, take a look if you have time, she really makes you feel good and a lot can be learned from a person like this.

Annsixty without knowing you can I suggest you substitute the word "classic" ? Then get yourself a gorgeous colourful scarf! A big one is best- the colours will reflect a d lighten ypur face and instantly jazz up the plainest outfit! Good luck!

Thank you Soutrabut I really am rather dowdy just now. I am overweight and I am 77. Perhaps I will take you up on the suggestion to go shopping with my new friend. I know she is keen to get out and her ideas may well rub off on me.!!

I absolutely do not think that was "faint praise! Don't be so hard on yourself BUT I think I am hearing inner doubts about how you look- frumpy and dowdy?? Unlikely! But it occurs to me that your friend might enjoy a shopping trip together especislly if you say something along the lines of "You have such great taste/style I'd welcome your guidance" It might take her out of herself and help both of you at the same time.

Once, when I was an anxious young teenager, I proudly presented my self for inspection in my new outfit. My Grandmother took a long look then said "well at least you`ve got one good leg"! To crown it all she wouldn't tell me which one. I`ve always been left wondering................

When I was a child and my mum bumped into people she knew they would always look at me and say "she looks like a farmer's daughter". I don't think that one was a compliment or is it me?

Sorting through halloween masks at the local pound shop my little GS looked up at me and said sweetly 'But Grandma,let's go, you don't really need a mask' I know he meant that he didn't like any of them and was a little scared of them. The two women standing by obviously thought differently.

My mother had a negative outlook and was constantly putting people down. She never really went out and I'm pretty sure her caustic attitude was a cover for her insecurities. In those days I didn't know any better and accepted that she was grumpy and bad tempered.

One day I came home from school and a particular posh-ish aunt had called to visit. As I went into the kitchen my mother said to my aunt......would you look at her, no matter what you'd get her she looks like nothing. I was about 14 at the time and in school uniform.

Please accept any compliments that come your way.
Everyone has their own beauty.

.....at least he didn't say zimmer frame....

I think it's hard to know what your friend really meant AnnSixty.It's often hard to read people isnt it?She could have really meant she thought you always looked well turned out, or it could well be that she was fishing for compliments for herself, hoping you would say 'oh you always look so attractive' or something along those lines. Who Knows? I wouldn't worry about it though.

Tegan

On the way back from school today my gramdson said 'Granny, do you use a walking stick'. When I said 'no I don't but why do you ask' he said 'because really old people use walking sticks' ....

My sense of being always dishevelled was only emphasised when an ex-boyfriend commented to a mutual acquaintance about me that 'she could be quite attractive if she did something with her hair.'

I've posted before about my great aunt telling me that I looked just like my mother at the same age 'just not quite as pretty!'.

My mother has also been known to say that 'when I make the effort' I can look almost presentable!

A couple of years ago, I had been through a bad time, culminating with all my hair falling out. I had been staying in as I looked so horrendous. I found a solution and was happier with the way I looked than I had been for years. Everyone said I looked years younger. I was out with my sister on Christmas Eve (she is 9 years younger than me) and someone she knew came over to us and said to my sister 'Oh this must be your mum'

I truly believe it is the short ,straight,white hair and the very "plain dressing" that gives that impression,but I feel so dowdy and frumpy now. I still like my new friend though.

Can I please have your secret for always being neat and tidy annsixty?

In another life I was the manager/buyer of gift shop. My boss's wife came in one day with one of her 'lunching' lady friends. The friend commented on the lovely display of stock, to which Boss's Wife said: Oh yes, we're so lucky to have Xxx..... I couldn't possibly do her job. I've got far to much good taste!

Twenty years later I'm still wondering about that one!

My DIL told me last week that my 6 year old grandson told her that "Grandma`s a pretty lady". I`m not, but bless him for making me feel good, if only for a moment!

I had an uncle, a life long depressive, who would often describe his first day at work and the crushing remarks made to him by his manager. The first time he told me the story I was stunned into silence. In his place I would have taken both the remarks he described as encouragement, certainly not as put downs. The first remark was when he was introduced to the man who was going to teach him his work. His manager said 'If you do half as well as Fred here, I will be happy'. At the end of the day his manager stopped him on the way out and said 'you'll do, boy, you'll do'.

I think annsixty is re-acting like my uncle. I would be over the moon if someone described me as always neat and tidy. I generally feel a dishevelled mess, whether that is an accurate description of me or not, I do not know, but it is how I feel.

It's the last place you expect to be fat.

"Back fat" sounds horrible!

Sorry. Got your forum name wrong!