Damned with faint praise.

You are being too sensitive Ann60. The fact that you always look neat and tidy seems to have made her realise she has been letting herself go, and now she intends to do something about it. You have done her good. Well done.

And she might be different from you, but that doesn't mean you are less attractive. We all have our own styles.

What merlot said! No-one has ever suggested I might be neat and tidy! - well done you!

I really don't think your friend meant to be dismissive, annsixty. I certainly hope not, when you've been so kind to her.

Someone once said I really reminded her of "an old actress - somebody dead". Weeks later she told me she'd meant Greta Garbo. I'm nothing like her.

Thank you for your kind replies.I actually am also thankful for her friendship as I have said before my DH has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers and she will be a support to me I am sure.

When I had my daughter, a nurse admired her saying "what a pretty little thing". She looked at me and then my husband and said "I can see she takes after her daddy!" I feel sure the way it sounded wasn't quite what was intended, and can laugh about it now but it took me aback at the time.

This lady's comment seems like a compliment to me - there's a lot to be said for looking neat and tidy - better than looking like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

You seem very critical of yourself. We can't all be raving beauties, but, given that you appear to have made a particular effort to be a friend to this lady in her time of need, you surely have many qualities that others value much more highly.

If someone more glamorous than me (which is most people) pays me a compliment, I always think they are being patronising but I think perhaps that is my problem not theirs.

If anyone told me I always look neat and tidy I'd suggest they go to Specsavers

I think it was a compliment too Ann. We don't see ourselves as others see us. Enjoy the friendship.

Do you mean you took this as an insult ann?

I think that's a compliment Ann, and she probably doesn't feel herself to be as attractive etc as you think!
In any case, I'm sure she's really grateful for your friendship and support.