How do you carry on a conversation?

I`m OK amongst family, but if I`m meeting people for the first time, I tend to clam up and listen instead. That`s how I was at the one and only GN meet up I attended, in Birmingham, the rest of the grans must have thought me very boring!

As Mishap said asking people about themselves in a chatty non interrogative way helps but I can fully understand that if you are shy it is difficult.

I have an OH who only talks at people about whatever interests him until they are glassy eyed. A tell tale indicator of Asperger's.

He came to see me in hospital after a minor op and all I got was 10 mins about how bad the parking was and no "how are you Nellie."

pompa you made me burst out laughing. I know one of those too. posie I know where you're coming from.

An interesting thread with lots of ideas. I love asking people about their lives and enjoy listening. Sometimes though I find that leaves me on the end of their spouting and I end up saying nothing at all! That's ok if over time it becomes reciprocal but I have been in the situation where having listened for, an evening say, I've then met the person in question at a later date and they have no memory of having met me!! Urggh.

It's good if you can be comfortable with silences but not many of us are? Helps if you have a good memory too so you can tell stories or even jokes.

You know those people who tell you a story verbatim..'so I said and then he said and she said'...do you think they really remember accurately or do they make it up as they go along?

Thanks for your replies & tips everyone. I shall endeavour to put them into practise.

I often take a note of what friends have told me so that when I see them next I can ask things like 'weren't you just about to go on holiday last time I saw you?' Then they usually just continue the conversation.

I also take a note of the names of friends grandchildren. They are very impressed when I say 'now how is little Joey'.

I remind myself of the info just before I know I am going to meet up with the friends.

Hope that helps a bit.

Gosh I wouldn't time it!i suppose I AM a chatterbox a d seldom run out things to say I do try and listen too of course. Some friends I am So natural with that we both chat on and on!

Funnily enough my oldest friend who I met at 16 is a good listener tend sort brag since she inherited lots dosh and we run out topics sometimes she can be hard work.

Try relax and people usually love talk about themselves

I have become a lot more confident I have got older. I was dreadfully shy as a teenager and well beyond.

With a cross reference to the thread "Coming to terms with how it is"
about relationships with mothers, my mum was caring, but in many ways she managed to make both myself and my sister shy and totally lacking in confidence.