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I don't like Christmas.

(55 Posts)
kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 15:45:19

I'm not really sure why I don't like it .....but I don't, and never have. DH feels the same so we go away every year and when we return, it's all over. I watch others really enjoying the preparations and conclude that there's something 'wrong with me'. Is there anyone else that feels like this? Am I weird?

sunseeker Mon 08-Dec-14 16:26:34

I don't like the build up with all the commercialisation but once it is here and the shops are closed I relax and enjoy it. Since being widowed 3 years ago I don't enjoy it as much, but I do make the effort. We did go away a few times for Christmas but it never felt the same.

I don't think you are weird at all, lots of people don't enjoy Christmas and as you and DH both feel the same then going away until its all over is probably a good idea.

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 16:41:37

I wish I understood why I dislike it so much. We have children and grandchildren and are really happy. As Christmas approaches I get a knot in my stomach. I have tried to think back to my childhood to find out what the problem is but nothing stands out.

merlotgran Mon 08-Dec-14 16:48:08

I love it when it's finally here but right now I feel like I'm standing in front of an approaching train.

I'm fed up with people in shops asking me if I'm ready for Christmas? How can anyone be ready for Christmas on the 8th December? tchangry

Bah Humbug!!!

thatbags Mon 08-Dec-14 16:49:41

I don't dislike Christmas but I wouldn't care if the 'tradition' evaporated either. To me it's just a winter day like any other, really.

Kiora Mon 08-Dec-14 16:58:41

I like Christmas but not as much as I used to. Standing in front of an approaching train is a good description thatbags it's such hard work. It's my own fault the family do nothing just turn up to be fed. I need to put my foot down. Once dinner is over I can relax and enjoy it. But the part of me that at one time would have been appalled at there just being the two of us for dinner is now secretly longing for it! Whatch this space in the coming years in case it happens and I moan.

soontobe Mon 08-Dec-14 16:59:01

Do you enjoy Easter kassi?

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 17:00:26

I always just 'keep quiet' when friends/family ask that question. I suppose I just really can't be arsed with it all. 'Have you made your cake?' 'Have you made your puddings?' 'Is your tree up?' Er no! I don't want to do any of that! So I dont! I really wish I could be enthusiastic but I'm not! I decided a few years ago to just 'opt out' but I feel guilty about the way I feel.

soontobe Mon 08-Dec-14 17:01:17

Are you religious?
You sound like you dont like the preparations either. Do you find it all OTT? .

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 17:05:18

Easter? It just passes me by to be honest. I've never really acknowledged Easter. I'm just trying to understand why I feel as I do. I've been giving it a lot of thought lately.

Lona Mon 08-Dec-14 17:08:35

kassi Christmas isn't a particularly 'happy' time for me, last year I had beans on toast and watched 'Gone with the Wind' and it was great!
Just do what makes you and your dh happy. tchsmile

soontobe Mon 08-Dec-14 17:09:03

Are you anti religious?

Do you like celebrations/parties of any kind?

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 17:11:04

Not at all religious. Looking back, I think it might stem back to my time as an infants school teacher. We had to give so much to the celebrations in school that by the time I got home, I was 'all xmased' out and didn't want to start again at home. Maybe that's it. I don't want to feel like this but dont know how to change things because I don't want to be 'a misery'.

Elegran Mon 08-Dec-14 17:13:48

None of the faff is necessary. It has all gradually built up around the day until it seems that it is essential. It is not.

If you are a churchgoer (even just an occasional one) then a carol service is a lovely way to spend an hour and remember the joy that any birth brings to a family, and if it is held at midnight and the bells ring out the good news, it can bring a tear to the driest eye.

If you are not, it can be a day for a family meal. No need for special food, or decorations, or party games, just a chance to get together with family members you may not see very often.

If you don't even want to do that, then you don't have to, There is no obligation. Nothing is wrong with you, it is just not your thing.

Going away is a good move but you could just stay home and do whatever you would do on an ordinary day - why not?

ninathenana Mon 08-Dec-14 17:15:42

I have never made a cake, nor a pudding nor my own stuffing. I haven't made a mince pie for at least 20 yrs. I buy ready made cranberry sauce and short cut where I can. Last year I bought ready prepared pigs in blankets for the first time.
It's as hard as you make it.

kassi if you don't like it, just accept it. tchsmile BTW welcome, I don't think I've seen you post before.

soontobe Mon 08-Dec-14 17:16:18

Ah. I sort of know what you mean.
When I was at school I was in the choir. There wasnt a hug amount of choir practices and concerts, but enough for me never to have been willingly to a concert since.
Shame really.

I am not sure you will get over it.
But do you have to? Is anybody around you bothered by your lack of enthusiasm?

Marelli Mon 08-Dec-14 17:16:58

Not particularly good at Christmas, either. I don't really prepare anything for it, though I buy the presents and don't mind writing the cards. Actually, if I'm honest, I feel quite 'lump-in-throat -ish' on Christmas morning. I appreciate the gifts I'm given (I think that's when I feel a bit emotional shock), but at the risk of sounding saintly (which I most definitely am not), I'd rather give than receive presents as I get more pleasure from that part.
Christmas is really over by the afternoon, isn't it! hmm

ninathenana Mon 08-Dec-14 17:17:46

merlot apart from wrapping the pressies, I'm ready. tchgrin

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 17:19:18

No I don't really enjoy parties or celebrations other than with OH or really close family. I like being with OH and also really enjoy being on my own. If (perish the thought) I was left on my own I would really prefer to spend xmas alone. I would probably eat a fish finger sandwich (yum) and drink rum and watch all the stuff I've recorded!

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 17:22:38

Thanks so much for your replies. I am a long time lurker since Gransnet began. It's taken me a long time to post!

soontobe Mon 08-Dec-14 17:26:49

Welcome kassi! tchsmile and some sort of music emotion, like Ta Da!

loopylou Mon 08-Dec-14 17:33:52

Welcome Kassi, I'm a 'converted lurker' too!
I was Christmas'd out as a child, particularly as a C of E at a convent school where we were expected to attend mass every day. Later, once married, it was left to me to do everything for Christmas including having the whole family to lunch (17!) as we had the space so pretty well did it all solo. I spent several years loathing the whole shebang, a truly Bah Humbug misery, forcing myself to plaster a smile on my face whilst spitting out gritted teeth!
The last couple of years have been better but I refuse to do everything alone which makes it less stressful although this year will have both children and gorgeous 15 month old grandson staying which will be lovely! DS bringing a goose and says he will cook Christmas dinner so can't wait!
Left on our own I'd have cold meat and chips!

Tegan Mon 08-Dec-14 17:36:49

I always looked forward to the time when I'd be retired and could embrace the whole of Christmas...the run up to it etc. I would spend ages writing out cards and putting lovely personal messages in them, listening to Christmas carols and, perhaps having a glass of sherry. But, now that I am retired it just isn't happening. They say that holidays are very stressful; ditto Christmas, the difference with Christmas being that you get lots of people in a house that only see each other possibly once a year and everyone is supposed to have a wonderful time hmm. I know that, in previous years even if Christmas itself has been fun I just want rid of everything assocuaited with it; tree, cards etc. The Christmas music that I'd enjoyed is put away and I would hate to have to listen to it. I may not even put a tree up this year, even though I've bought myself a new one, and will only send cards to people that may worry if I don't. It's probably a case of everyone around you looking as if they're having a wonderful time when, in fact they're as fed up with it as you are. Welcome by the way [another member of my bah humbug club; hurrah!!].

kassi Mon 08-Dec-14 17:49:58

I am so happy to be a member of the 'bah humbug club' and to find out that I'm not alone with my thoughts. I've done a lot of thinking about it this afternoon. My parents were very anti social. I never had a party of any sort and they didn't mix. Dad (93) is in a brilliant care home with a varied programme of events, but he just sits and has joined in with nothing in 2 years. Maybe I have inherited their genes?

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Dec-14 17:50:30

You've got Xmas anxiety. You need to join the Sod-it Club.

Try to enjoy some preparations. Make a cake. Make a pud. Put up some decs (not yet though!) go and have a shopping trip or two. But don't expect it all to be perfect. If they don't like the pressies - give 'em the receipts. Tell them to deal with it. If the dinner should turn out to be less than top notch, well, loads of bread sauce, and chicken gravy granules, can cover loads of sins.

Just concentrate on doing enjoyable things yourself. Wander the shops and garden centres. Eat mince pies. Drink coffee. Be happy and sod the lot of 'em.