So, I went to see Mum today..........

Love her.

Oh dear!

you are lucky you still have your Mum.

all mothers are like that, mine is unbelievable, she picks on what to criticise and plays down your good points. Just smile and wear what you like

Mum has failed a lot during the past couple of months. She is 96 - 97 in July.

Her lungs aren't up to scratch and she seems to be very weak now and finding life a bit of a struggle. Saying that, she does live on her own, and cooks for herself but I think really without making too much fuss I shall need to start supplying her with cooked food. She has a lady who does, and goes in twice a week for little jobs she wants done etc.

My sister was wondering whether a word with the Dr. to see if a whiff of oxygen might make her more comfortable.
Sad to see - and quite frankly we are all hoping that her life will end before she becomes totally dependent, as she is that sort of character and would hate it any other way.

kitty, next time you go to see your Mum beg or borrow a bright red coat and see whether she compliments you on that but criticises your hair...!

ehtelbags1- I am on another Forum, for expats where I live- full of much younger people. There the women are permanently complaining about their mothers = us / our generation ;) - and I ofthen think- in a few year's time- they will be the mothers and the mothers-in-law... ahahahaha - wonder what their daughters and dils will be saying about THEM ;)

Good for her Whitewave. My great aunt was the same and managed to stay in her home with food provided by her DGDs and a couple of carers dropping in until the last couple of months when she went a bit do-lally and had to go into a care home. She didn't realise she wasn't in her own home, a indication of the excellent care she received. She was 100 and two months when she died.

Oh dear, I think I am turning into your mum. DD1 favours black a lot and it drains her. A few weeks ago I suggested she wear something with a bit more colour when she said she looked as if she hadn't slept for a week. She added a brightly coloured scarf, nothing was said.........she did look brighter though

I can see how annoying it must be, but I must take issue with ethel's statement that "all mums are like that", criticising and playing down your good points. Mine wasn't, neither was my mother-in-law, and I do hope that I am not!

The day my mum was meek and compliant was the day I started worrying. . . There is clearly life in the old dear yet!

Not much soutra, as I mentioned on another thread.

Mum would often compliment me on what I was wearing in an OTT way which suggested I usually look a mess. If I wore something she didn't like she'd be like a dog with a bone.

I once wore a dark green jacket with a matching scarf to a family get-together. Mum couldn't understand why anyone would want to wear a scarf indoors and kept telling me to take it off. Not being five years old and objecting to being told how to dress in front of a smirking sis-in-law I ignored her. Couldn't win though. 'I doooooo wish you'd take that silly scarf off' finally got through to DH who hissed, 'Just take the bloody thing off'

I really, really wanted to throttle him with it.

Are our mum's related? My mum is just the same.

whitewave

My Mum's best put-down was at a family wedding when she said to me in front of a table full of guests "Your hair looks nice dear - plain, but nice"
Her usual comment on seeing me was to remark "That's been a good jumper/dress/coat" In other words I'd had it for donkey's years, which was true but made me feel like a rag-bag. The worrying thing is that now Mum has gone I find I'm saying it to myself

I'm older now than my mother was when she died, so far be it from me to comment - but she did announce to a large group of my colleagues that I had always been the delicate one of the family.

I don't remember dear mum ever criticising my clothes. I have commented on DD's occasionally as she lives in jeans.

And here is me thinking, but not saying. Oh DD why do you have to wear such sludgy colours.

However her sludgy colour scheme means she has passed a lovely red pashmina to me. It goes very well with the red in a Monsoon skirt I have.

I remember first footing my mum. I said to her that I'm not tall dark and handsome (as first footers are meant to be) but big, fat and blonde. Her response was ' well you're not really blonde are you '. Thanks mum!

Dad wasn't much better. I foolishly said one day that I was fighting beind scrawny. His response? 'and winning dear, winning '. I went on a diet at once!

One of my DDs (who is of course very beautiful) only ever wears black, grey and blue (usually dark) and I keep thinking how truly wonderful she looked in her wedding white - but I bite my tongue and when I buy her anything it is always in the "colours" that I know she likes. But it does seem a shame...........

I'd just like to point out that, until I bought my new Seasalt mac type coat (which is actually dark grey, squid ink in fact, and has a vivid pink lining!!) that my 'mac' of choice was a bubblegum pink one! Although I do wear a lot of black and my 'best coat' is black, my everyday coat is purple!

When I am old, I will wear purple!