A four line poem

Bit too late for the festive season but here's my offering:

I often pondered as a child,
And wondered ever since
Why chopped up fruit is mincemeat
But chopped up fruit is mince?

I'm trying to think
Of something profound
But my very few brain cells
Have gone to ground

Not sure if the tone
Is actually improving
This isn't a moan
I should be hoovering

DH likes the bottom squeezed
But I just squeeze and push.
Does it really matter
How the paste gets on the brush?

Blessed is he who expecteth not.
But oh dear! Oh dear! Just look what we got.
While I had expected some really good verse.
They just went from bad to very much worse

Vampire queen you have my vote
For the funniest on this thread

Goodnight all netters have sweet dreams
I am going to my bed

If on gransnet you should peek
You'll be shocked at our thread this week
Not about ED and Lord of the Rings
But about no knickers on jings

( it may be her rhyme or just being silly
But jings only wears them when feeling chilly!)

The Johnny Cash song, Ring of Fire
Springs to mind just now.
My eyes do water at the thought.
Of the whats and whys and the how

Are all those rings kept in the shed?
Or in a secret place instead?
Beware of Gollum on the prowl
His crafty tricks will make you howl.

Wrote this years ago;

The essence of grief
Lies not
In its expression
But in its relief.

When I got those rings I wondered why
they came in threes, the only way to buy
now at last Vampire answers all
her granddad has more than one tool

Oh dear I'm rubbish at using apostrophes. Another puppy bites the dust

"kn**s" WOW more than one ?

I know knee
Doesn't rhyme with bob
But I couldn't use the word
That fits the job.

Would they want to see
Grans bits and bobs
And what about
The grandad's kn**s

Bits on view
What do you mean?
They'd pay to keep my bits
......unseen.

Wow that pink house is so brash
The interior decor equally flash
That sunglasses I'd have to wear
Should I ever visit there!

(I wouldn't though! Not my cup of tea.)

I couldn't put my bits on view
I'd only scare the rest of you
For that no tickets would be sold
And wouldn't we be rather cold?

Linda Snell is just the gell
To organise the grans
Before you know, we've done the show
And gained a thousand fans.

Like Calendar Girls but minus the buns?
No airbrushing, props or soft light
I'd put off the punters and spoil the fun
Bags best seats for me on first night!

[groan]

Oh Crafting would that we should be so bold
To show that we are not so old
But whilst we might appear undressing
We might just look in need of pressing!

I think I have a cunning plan
To show the youngsters there's life in gran
I wonder if we'd really dare
to do our panto totally bare

An ugly sister would suit me fine
No makeup needed, just to save time
To tart up pompa, newist and lilflo
Then Gransnetters can begin the show!

Newist thinks we should do Shakespeare no less.
I think we might get in a bit of a mess,
The bard is rather harder than Cinderella.
Dare someone find Newist and tell 'er