Is trust an issue on Gransnet?

OMG! I really thought it was Australia you lived!

I tend (on here at least) to take people on face value. There is the occasional "new member" that rings alarm bells, but I think most of us (especially those have been on here for quite some time) soon get a feeling that all is not as it should be.

I confess to getting a bit cross when someone that I think is taking the piss advantage of members who are offering advice and support either continues to spin their tale, or (as happens more often) makes a plea for help/opinions and then disappears!!

absent I agree that we should all know what we are doing when we post on a forum. Sometimes I let strangers views get to me, which is silly really because I don't know them and they do not know me.

It does not really matter what the true identity of posters is. What does matter is if they actively try to disrupt threads that others are taking seriously or if people make unacceptable remarks that are deliberately /pointedlyhurtful/racist/homophobic etc etc.

I do care about what people I know think about me and my opinions. But strangers on line..no!

I prefer to believe I can trust what most people say but let's face it we probably all wonder at times if something doesn't sound right should we be wary.

Personally I think a person who 'likes to be generous with the truth' has to have a damn good memory to keep up the pretence and I have on a very, very odd occasion thought, hmm.

Does it matter, not in the grand scheme of things I suppose. Other than to have wasted your time talking to a shallow minded entity.

"(Quite a few North-East and Scottish grannies will have an idea about this.)"

I don't understand what that means, not being one of their number, and perhaps it's that type of comment which can lead to slight paranoia and mistrust among some newer members.

As for the rest, of course we can only take other members at face value, as they present themselves on here, and mickey-takers soon get sussed.

No. What does that mean? (about the NE and Scottish grannies)

I prefer to take members at face value. It is a forum where opinions do seem to be respected. Personally speaking there are some postings that I do not join in on. Usually because they are of no interest to me or I do not feel qualified to express an opinion.

It's a matter of trust to believe or disbelieve others. X

Can I just ask, being a new member, how long does it take to be accepted on here and hopefully gain other members trust?

Nothing devious about my comment re North-east and Scottish grannies. It's just that we met up a few times in Scotland and County Durham and I would have had to be a master of disguise to convince them that I was anything other than an old woman.

jingl Australia and New Zealand are at least 1,000 miles apart and have an age-old rivalry a bit like the French and English.

Sorry North-east grannies. We had some great times in Newcastle too. I hadn't forgotten and I do know that Newcastle isn't in County Durham.

What's brought this on?

I must admit I have tried to hide my true identity on GN by portraying myself as a rather frumpy older woman who likes a or 22. A hopeless cook with no talent for art, design or anything else.

In real life I am actually stunningly attractive, teetotal, have a wonderful job as a fashion designer cum master baker with a gallery of all my own paintings ...........

absent, you are obviously very clever because, although you haven't said anything on this thread that longer-term forum members (descriptive term, not a judgmental one) wouldn't have known already, anyone would think you had from some of the replies .

Isn't Newcastle in the north-east? <chugs off to do some geography revision>

I'm just thrilled if anybody acknowledges me

From my one encounter with you, absent in company with a gang of other Scottish and NE gransnetters, I think I can dismiss any thought that you might be gay or 30 (maybe 31 on a good day?) I suppose it is still possible that you are a defrocked vicar, but I doubt it.

I think we trust people unless they prove untrustworthy, but I would add a question - trust them to do what or be what? They are unlikely to abscond with our money, or mug us in a dark alley, or trick us into carrying drugs or explosives. There is no need for us to tell anyone any secrets about ourselves that we would rather not reveal, so they won't be blackmailing us. Our real-life faces and identities are only known if we meet up in the real world, so if we ask advice they can't spread things about us to our family and neighbours.

Do we trust gransnetters not to tell outright lies? Yes, until and unless they get their lies in a muddle and contradict themselves, or tell such blatant rubbish that it is obviously concocted.

Nope, not for me (in response to the OP).

I mean the heading of this thread.

We all are, juliette. Welcome to Gransnet

Hi juliette .

Oh come on now Absent no self respecting "de-frocked vicar" would ever spill the contents of his/her purse out on the streets outside Newcastle railway station frantically hunting for their ticket home......... Would they?

Remember that fantastic night we had in Newcastle Absent ? The night when you got the train heading off in the wrong direction and ended up heading North instead of South, and you had to spend the night in Berwick upon Tweed with food poisoning

Or was that the bl**dy vicar again?

Amya, I think the reservations expressed by soontobe on another thread brought this on.

Juliette, don't worry, a lot of our posts get swept aside and/or ignored if a thread's moving quickly - you get used to it!

Hi Juliette

I'm still wondering why Absent is having an identity crisis.