What was your most embarrassing moment?

These are all so funny! Many years ago I worked in a local bingo hall and a woman started working in the office. She kept looking me and eventually said she thought she'd been at school with me. I said I don't think so - I'm only 21 - she rounded on me and said so am I - how ***y old do I look?! I was mortified - turned out she had indeed been in my year at school.

My husband had an extremely embarrassing incident in a hotel one day. Arriving after a day on the road and desperate for the loo he quickly got through the check in and ran straight into the bathroom in his room, pulled on the light and planted himself on the toilet. No sooner had he finished there was an urgent knocking at the room door - the hotel manager stood there asking if he was ok. He'd pulled the emergency cord! He assured him he was fine but unfortunately the manager said he had to go into the bathroom to reset the alarm - despite warning him he really didn't want to in there the poor guy insisted and nearly passed out when he opened the door. Neither of them knew where to look and he hastily reset the alarm and beat a retreat

My Mum once had a toileting problem with my brother when he was about 4. She was on a ferry and he needed a wee; so she decided he ought to go into the gents. She ushered him in and stood outside where several people were hanging around - he emerged a few minutes later to announce there were no loos, only sinks. Much hilarity - Mum said "Those are the toilets - you wee in there." Slightly disbelieving my brother toddled back in and, after a lengthy wait, emerged announcing "They are too high!"

I also had a desperate need to go whilst driving on a dual carriageway in Germany. I pulled over at a lay-by and climbed down into a ditch to pee there below the level of the traffic and out of sight. I was a bit embarrassed when a coachload of German gentlemen (who, because of the tall vehicle could see over into the ditch) drove passed and raised their hats to me!

Lying on the bedroom floor stark naked, bleeding from a degloving injury of my forearm, having to wait for Gary to come and help me back into bed and render first aid!
Once I've fallen, there is no way I can get up on my own!

Sitting on the end of my bed, wrapped only in towel, drying my hair. Window cleaner appears at the window.

11 am this morning (Saturday) doing housework in my nightie. Door bell rings, husband answers and shakes hands with well dressed man. Dog tries to run at man, so I rugby tackle dog in hallway. Only Iain Duncan Smith canvassing!

crun

On the subject of narrow escapes, I was getting changed into a theatre gown in hospital once about 20 years ago, and they had also given me a disposable paper cover for my hair just like the ones you see people wearing in food factories. Fortunately, as I was putting it on I noticed it had three openings not one, and realised it was a pair of disposable underpants just in time to avoid walking out onto the ward with them on my head.

I nearly had one yesterday.
I changed DGD's exceptionally messy nappy. Five minutes I was heading out of the door to go collect DGS from pre-school when DH asked "what's that on your jumper?". Turns out I'd a dollop of poo the size of a 2p coin stuck to my chest

Thank goodness he spotted it before I went, not after I'd got back!

When I was commuting by train, just after I left school, the train pulled into the station and a mate and I ran over the bridge, and down onto the other platform just as the whistle was blowing. We dived headlong for the nearest door and jumped on just as the train was pulling out. As we sat there catching our breath, we noticed everyone on the train was scowling and looking daggers at us.

After a few minutes of feeling uncomfortable, my mate dug me in the ribs with his elbow and nodded at the door. There was a sign on the window: "Ladies Only".

It was a non-corridor train, so they were stuck with us.

We'd been for a fairly long walk in the Peak District, and I was absolutley bursting by the time we reached Hartington. Ex and DSs pointed to the public loos and I rushed in to do the business. When I came out, I found them in fits of laughter, revealing that I'd been in the gents.

A cycling tour in France, some 15 years ago. DH and I found ourselves on the outskirts of Toulouse, and I desperately needed some loos as my sanitary protection was failing rapidly and my pale coloured shorts were already starting to reveal the problem.
We cycled into a park hoping to find some loos there, but couldn't see any. In desperation, I clambered into a shallow ditch and dealt with the issue as best I could, removing and quickly inserting another tampon, and donning another pair of shorts. I was reasonably confident that no one was near enough to see what I was doing, but when we set off again on our bikes I got some very strange looks from most of the people we passed. I think that quite a few people might actually have shared my intimate moment.

Thanks Loupylou. Hope the coffee washes out . Love the idea of special ladies chocolates Falconbird. I remember taking DD into a ladies loo where there were chocolate flavoured condoms in a machine painted in Cadbury colours. Had a very hard job explaining that one

When my son was little I always took him into the ladies loo.

Once he tried to pee into the plumbing under the sink and he regularly kept asking very loudly for the chocolate in the tampon machine.

He called it special ladies' chocolate. It was a relief when he was old enough to go into the gents on his own but I spent hours waiting outside and shouting through the door "are you OK in there?"

That's made me sputter my coffee all over my jumper Purpledaffodil! Poor little mite, enough to scar him for life - you charging in, not the drier!
Definitely the best post methinks!

When DS 1 was four, he insisted on going into the Mens' loo on his own, rather than in the Ladies with me. He came out howling and so upset he couldn't explain why. I thought the worst and went charging into the mens' loo to confront the beast who had molested my son. Several bemused men must have peed on their shoes as mother tiger entered in full avenging fury, only to find that the problem was that small boy couldn't turn off the hot air hand drier.

Many years ago my grandparents had an apartment in Spain and my intrepid parents would load the three of us and luggage into the car and drive there.
We'd stay B&B en route (very much a shoestring holiday) and it took us years to work out that often loo lights would only come on if you locked the door.
Three hysterical little girls refusing to shut the door must have raised many eyebrows...but needs must!

I had a most peculiar experience in a public toilet some years ago. I had bought some trousers in a shop but hadn't tried them on so I decided to go into a public convenience and try them on.

The building was huge with at least twenty cubicles and all completely empty. I went into one and locked the door.

I was putting the trousers on when a woman came into the building and in a very loud voice began to talk to herself about which cubicle to chose. I thought that was strange as they were all vacant except for mine.

To my absolute astonishment she started to try and get into my cubicle and somehow managed to open the door.

I said "sorry engaged," and she went away,

I have absolutely no idea what was going on that day.

I have an embarrassing toilet story also. I still feel slightly sick when I mentally recall it.
I apparently did not lock the door of one of those curved toilet cubicles on the train. As I sat with knickers around my ankles, the door slowly opened and there was nothing I could do to stop it as the electric control was on the opposite wall. I just had to put my head in my hands, finish my wee, pull up my pants and make a dignified exit, going past the passengers outside who did their best to avoid eye contact with me.
I never go to the toilet on a train now unless it is one with a traditional door!

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2969176/The-moment-Madonna-56-falls-BACKWARDS-set-steps-pulled-dancers-BRIT-Awards.html

Poor Madonna. That looked painful. What a trouper for carrying on.

I don't think Katek's embarrassing story was funny though. Not very nice of people to laugh at what must have been quite a frightening - and painful - experience.

I'm sorry, but I just can't help laughing.

Oh dear Marelli, lol!!

I took my son to Navy Days in Plymouth quite a few years ago, and accidentally walked into a ship's toilet (known as 'heads' I believe).
There were several sailors in various states of undress.... Oh Dear!
Their comments were unrepeatable.
The ship was HMS Fearless.
I ran fearlessly fast off that ship!

Oh, and another one on DH's disasters - we were on our way home from holidaying in the Highlands and he was 'caught short' - not for a 'wee', either. We pulled in to a deserted area and he dashed off into the bushes. As I sat in the car waiting for him to return I saw a tour bus wending its way up the road.....you've got it - all eyes were pointed towards the bushes where from the lofty heights of the bus, DH was in full view !

DH and I had gone out for an Indian meal and I asked him if he'd bought a hankie with him (I'd forgotten to put tissues in my bag) as the spicy food was making my nose run and eyes water. He foraged in his pocket and handed me his underpants across the table.....not clean ones, either! Instead of lifting his clean hankie off the bed when he'd got changed, he'd stuffed his pants in his pocket...... Oh, the mortification! I didn't use them.....!