Sales call - cheek!

I had one of those calls and told him I'd planned to spontaneously combust in the garden to save the family any trouble....
There was a silence followed by the phone being put down.

Hopefully he won't call again.

There's a lot of it around KatyK

Although, actually it's not a bad idea, but if I was going down that route I would do it through the local undertakers, never in response to a cold call.

You could have burst into an excerpt from Fame,
("I'm gonna live forever. . . . !")

Funeral plans appear to be flavour of the month. I receive at least x2 emails a day about that subject- I have no idea what they are offering because I delete them. If it happens again just say that you have donated your body to science so it will not be your family's problem- that should shut him up.

I don't let anyone get much past Hallo with me on the phne and a lot of the time screen the calls anyway.

As to Funeral Plans MIL did want to buy one about 20 years ago which she did (Co-op where else) and she is still here as you have probably heard me say at approaching 102. I think she will certainly get her moneys worth now.

I will be ready for them next time with some of your suggestions!

When I get a cold call I immediately say.... i'm hanging up.

With regard to funeral plans my father set up one each for himself and my mother. This was in the 1980s. He died in the 90s and my mother died 10 years later.
The plans were set up with a local undertaker and worked exceptionally well. All I paid for was insertion in local paper and family flowers.

DH and I keep saying that we should sort this for ourselves but haven't taken the step.

OOOH can't wait to have one of these....will have some fun. My favourite at the moment is when they tell me I've had an accident in the last three years. I put on my best RP voice and start asking a lot of daft questions about which car, where it happened and who got hurt.

.....and if asked will say I'm going to be tied to the roof and await the crows to pick over my bones.

When he said 'what are you going to do' I should have said 'I'm not going to be doing anything cos I will be dead'

I just say yes.

I haven't got one, but it shuts them up.

I haven't had those emails, phone calls etc, so I may be immortal - no matter that at the moment I feel b****y awful!

I had a phonecall last week from someone saying, "I hear you get lots of unwanted phonecalls."
I said, "No, I don't. Who told you that?"
The phone went dead.
Since then I've had at least 3 a day, and one a day from funeral plan companies.
Is it a coincidence?

I have often found that the calls about home improvements (windows, conservatories etc) can be cut short by saying that you are a tenant, just renting the place etc

Might be a tad difficult if you were to claim that you were only a short time tenant in the body!

Its very annoying. I usually say I am just going out or busy or I have already got what they are selling but for some reason I didn't this morning.

We usually say we are moving when they offer home improvements. They don't persist.

It's weird durhamjen, I had a spate of those, twice a day for about a fortnight which nearly drove me potty, but they seem to have stopped [fingers crossed]

I dont answer a whole bunch of calls.
Any that do get through, dont get past second question. I just put the phone down.

Coolgran65 , almost exactly what I said earlier.

I just say 'No thank you!' as soon as they start their spiel and that's it. Why bother engaging with them at all?

I find that if I respond literally and at great length to inane questions like "how are you today?" they hang up on me before they even get to tell me why they are ringing me. It works every time and is very satisfying!

I assume that these folk work on commission- I doubt if they make enough each day for a cup of tea if they listen to our antics.

Which is why it's not particularly helpful to play them along. If you're not interested, just say so and put the phone down.

Some of the callers may actually be trying to make a living out of cold-calling.