Worry, worry, worry

I was born to worry and I'm getting tired of it now! My dad used to say there's no point worrying until it happens, true, but it never stops me.
I'm a good listener too, so I get everyone else's problems to worry about as well.

Hey ho!

While you're crocheting, Galen, do you find that it helps divert your worrying a bit?

KatyK I got the title wrong from memory.
It's actually called 'The Worry Cure: Stop Worrying and Start Living' by Robert Leahy and it's on Amazon.

Can I join the worriers club? I'm the champion worrier of all time!

I was a worrier par excellance until I nearly lost the plot completely late last year.
I'm determined only to worry about things I can do something about and let the rest go. Oddly enough it seems to work for me

If a problem seems unsolvable then I let it rest for a few days rather than work myself into a state of exhaustion which takes me ages to recover from, and try to be logical about just what I can do about it.

I am not a natural worrier, but have found, like most on here, that I don't feel as optimistic as I used to, this must be an age thing.Generally though I don't worry, unless there is a real problem to worry about, rather than vague fears.If I wake in the night and start thinking any negative thoughts, I tell myself firmly not to be an idiot.everything looks better in the morning, unless something terrible has happened of course.

Mine said 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst', which is an extremely sensible tip!

Grannies used to have some good sayings didn't they?Mine used to say 'do your best and leave the rest' and also 'hope for the best, expect the worse!'

That's a good saying from your grannie Teetime and Coolgran I may get that book! Coincidentally I have just been into town and passed a book shop. In the window there was a book entitled "How Never To Be Wrong About Anything'. I was tempted to buy it and then I could reverse my thinking and become a complete 'know it all'

Eloethan, that's the problem, isn't it? The not being able to do anything about it. Like you, I wake feeling tense and anxious - and that's if I've managed to sleep through till the morning. Usually I wake between 3 and 4am and my mind fills up with the worry.
I'm glad I'm not on my own with this.

I'm a worrier too. How can one not worry about the happiness and health of friends and family? Of course, worrying should not take the place of actually trying to do something tangible to help but if a problem seems insoluble I can't see how it's possible not to worry. Some people talk about worriers as if they make a deliberate choice. Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling tense and anxious - it is not something I would choose.

I'm similar to hildajenni, very rarely worry about things and take everything in my stride. I usually ask myself "can I do anything about this situation", if the answer is "no", then you just push it aside and get on with the next thing

I'm also a worrier but not so much in recent couple of years when I accepted the lightbulb moment that I can't make everything perfect for everyone. Not being a fan of self help books I somehow read a book 'The Worry Book'. It changed my attitude.... And still does. Though at times when I've posted it may not seem so.

I was so impressed that I recommended it to my friend's daughter who was like a worry clone of myself. She in turn passed it on to someone else.

I can still worry about family without real reason but not to the point of debilitation like I used to.

I can identify with Teetime's comments. I think I take after my father, who was a worrier too. He always got a spot on his nose when more anxious than usual. Luckily I haven't inherited that!

My SiL said to me on Sunday when we were out walking by a river that, in all the time he had known me, he had never known me be so risk-averse about even the smallest things as I am now. I got myself into a flap about having to cross a weir where some of the stepping stones were almost under water. He said "if you had to stand up to your bum in the river with a fishing rod in your hand you wouldn't turn a hair - what's different except that you aren't wearing waders?" I honestly couldn't tell him. I worry constantly when we are out with GS in ways I never did about my own children and they were no less cavalier in their attitude to their surroundings than he is. I think the way I worry about everything everyone does irritates SiL, but he's too polite to say so!

I also worry about most of the things others have mentioned, but I try to put it in the context of over thinking.

I always imagine worst case scenarios and have a plan should they happen! For example staying in hotels or holiday houses, my first thought is how do I escape if there was a fire! I've never been in a fire!

As mothers, we possibly have an inbuilt preservation of nearest and dearest so that leads to worry. Especially in the small wee hours.

x

Teetime; years ago I saw a note that someone had written about me which said 'does she still get on your nerves as much as she did' [it was someone I worked with]. I was @ 18 at the time and I don't think I've ever got over it, especially as I get on my own nerves a lot of the time .

Another worrier here. Can't say it's got worse as I've got older (apart from the fact that I have more people to worry about as the family has grown), as I've always been like that. As a child, I would worry about things like a dentist's appoint for weeks leading up to it, even though I'd never had anything wrong with my teeth.

The nights are the worst - if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep, my mind will inevitably seek out something to worry about, and as we all know, everything feels worse in the middle of the night! It might be my elderly parents, my children or grandchildren, why people don't like me, the car, the future, terrorism ... . No matter how hard I try to just concentrate on my breathing and get back to sleep, my mind won't be distracted from worry!

I'm with Soutra! She summed it up perfectly. A perfectly small worry will hurtle down the hill gathering worry moss until it becomes a potential disaster, with sleepless nights, usually for nothing. Fortunately I have a DH who seems to be incapable of worrying about anything. I wish I could be like him.

I`m a worrier. I worry constantly about what others think of me, or my husband, or daughter, or the house, the car...........ad infinitum! Just can`t help it.

I think it is more than a habit - and even if it is, habits are hard to break
I am not a worrier - I mean, I do worry about things worth worrying about, but not to the extent I can't put those thoughts away and think of something else.

Is therapy or if not that, counselling, not an option? It seems to me that worrying is something that really does affect relationships, with friends and family. I know I have had this issue with relatives; persistent worrying is exhausting for everyone. In the end, people don't tell them stuff in case they worry about it, and that reduces shared experience and communication. Seems to me this is worth tackling with outside help, if needed.

I was talking to an old school friend about our days at school. There were 4 of us who were good friends.

My friend said she always thought of us in this way.

She was the quiet one.
Friend two was the extrovert.
Friend three was the eccentric....

I waited with baited breath hoping I would be the pretty one, or the kind one, etc., but NO ...

I was the WORRIER

Still am of course but learning not to worry quite so much as the years go by.

Sillyoldbird - I'm sure you are a verywisematurebird

TBH I think some of it is to do with no longer having that overweening confidence of youth where all things are possible and you know everything.
At our age, not only do we know that it might happen, but it probably will. If it hasn't already.
That can make us more pragmatic but it also saps the optimism. I come from a long line of worriers and recognise all the traits.
Haven't heard from the DDs? Accident on the motorway, followed by if SIL remarries will I ever see my lovely DGCs again?
DGS having tantrums? Must be a psychological problem. DGS not eating? Malnutrition.
To be fair this is my 4.30am reaction, fortified by a cup of coffee and some silliness on GN I usually feel much more balanced.
chins up!!

My Dad was a supreme worrier, something which I inherited from him.. I've always worried, mostly about the family : are they safe when travelling, their health problems etc etc. When DH died, the worries took on huge proportions, completely unrealistically. I had to worry about paying bills, sorting out all the house problems, getting from a to b, staying on my own in hotels - you name it, I worried about it. I took on the worries of the world. Now, 3 years on, I still worry but think 'there is nothing I can do about half of them, the other half will take care of themselves, so just let it go'. I have become quite relaxed and laid back and it is a quite liberating feeling. I think a lot of it has to do with being in control - if you can let go of that and realise that life does go on whether you worry or not, you will be far happier.....

I worry about everything and anything. Like you, if I don't feel worried I worry that something is wrong. I can't remember a time when I didn't have a knot in my stomach and a whirlpool in my head.