Mum's evasive answers to my questions.

Feel a bit miffed, as my Mother just used to answer questions honestly, so I have nothing to offer.

Asked dad what he was getting mum for Christmas.
He replied A golden new nothing to wear on her arm.

Just remembered when things were a bit out of hand and she thought we were taking no notice of her my mother would say, "Oh do as you like your mother's drunk"
She also used to say she'd run off with a black man.

I used to ask my father where we were going on holiday, we never went on holiday, and he would answer "Penshaw willick sands" Penshaw has a hill that has a folly on the top, looks like the Acropolis, and is definitely inland.
When asked what he was making in his shed he would say "a gugar for a wigwam"
My mother used to say she was running away with the black man and this really confused me because a Mr Blackman lived next door. Dear oh dear but that was the 50s.

Bad weather coming was "It`s a bit black over Bill`s mother`s".

A really dark night was as black as the earl of hell's waistcoat, according to my gran.

Yes indeed Ginny. 'Oxters' is Ulster Scots for armpits. As in 'He was up to the oxters in clabber', meaning covered in mud! I have just had a five minute fight with autocorrect to allow me to print that!!!

My mother used to answer 'what's for tea?' with '*tantadullum*'. Absolutely no idea where that came from but it did keep me intrigued. I know now with the wisdom of old age that she hadn't thought what to cook yet.

Pittcity I think lots of the East End language would be considered racist if used these days. We were a bit ignorant then.

Called DS "you dirty Arab" and he told me it was racist. It was an expression always used in my East End London family. An alternative was" as black as Newgate's Knocker".

If I answered 'eh?' instead of pardon she would say 'hay? horses eat it, cows chew it'.
Also 'ta' is what they spread on the roads 'say thank you'
Brummies around where we lived used to say 'mind how you cross the horse road'.

our dentist, who happened to be a very good friend, from NI, always said 'it's for me to know and for you to wonder'.

Love all those expressions- will have to print this thread

Q. What's for dinner? A. 3 jumps at the cupboard door.

Are you still in your disherbelly? = haven't you got dressed yet?

Disherbelly thought to be a corruption of 'deshabille' and brought back from France after WW1!

We used to say 'down the lane'

Ooh, that brought back memories, trisher!

We used to say 'down the grid' as the answer to 'where do you live' though.

My mum and dad always did a question and answer thing for babies and toddlers. Asking and answering themselves
What's your name?
Mary Jane
Where do you live?
Cabbage lane
What number?
Cucumber
The last answer always shouted and accompanied by tickling the child. Kids seem to find this hilarious- maybe it's the waiting to be tickled. My 3 would go into hysterical giggles when it started.

Keepin your hand on your h'appeny ?

Nothing to do with money !

If we were playing outside my other grandad (again a Geordie) said;

Watch you don't cockle-yer' kreels

Apparently it means be careful you don't fall down.

If we asked where he was going my(Geordie) grandad always said he was going to Wor-gate. It sounded quite exciting. Like a seaside town.

One saying I have inherited from my grandma is;

Nosy couldn't come, so he sent (insert name)

@trisher -- I have a feeling that 'Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs' might well come from the Liverpool area. A variant is "Well, I'll go to sea".
I might alerady have mentioned that my (Liverpool-born) father would say "Well, I'll go hopping away..." - but then, "he'd laugh to see a puddin' crawl..."

Lace curtains and kippers

She's all fur coat and no knickers. I didn't understand that insult for a long time

What's for dinner (to my grandma)? - "It's just oughts today."

"Oughts" is a Devon expression for "things that oughter 'ave bin etten, but weren't." In other words leftovers.

We still sometimes have ferret for supper - look in the fridge and ferret for what ever we can fine.

Grandpa used to 'go to the bottom of our stairs' if incredulous about something.

The answer to the question 'how much do you love me' was always ' a pound of sugar and a jar of jam'

Oh we had "Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs"-anyone know where that came from?
Also
What's for dinner?
Windmill pie, if it goes round.

Where are you going?
Back of Bill's mothers to see Mary
There and back to see how far it is.
To see a man about a dog

And the all encompassing
Ask no questions get told no lies.

I wonder we ever asked anything!