Can't leave him alone for a minute..........!!

I know how lucky we are to have been given not just a second chance but also a third. It is fantastic that he's able to do so much but there's always that niggle in the back of my mind that it could be too much and he'll just keel over. He has made some changes to his lifestyle, given up smoking and attends a weekly cardiac rehab exercise class. He's a typical type A personality-driven, high achiever, workaholic etc. and I know he wouldn't be happy just sitting about. I've been trying to learn to step back for 8 years but it's not easy. I had to tell him tonight he wasn't barrowing the half ton of soil/gravel back down the hole in the drive at 8pm. Lured him in with Antiques Roadshow.

I agree it's about knowing your limitations so it is great to hear that those who have been through the mill can do so much (even if the OHs are on tenterhooks )

Kate - I've had similar cardiac problems to your husband and the doctors that I've seen encourage a return to active life, once the medications are well balanced, blood tests and BP all ok etc.
They even say's good to put a bit of extra strain on the heart, obviously stop before overdoing it.
It's good for the self confidence too.
Speak to his doctor about it.

After my DH's treatment for cancer last year, he suddenly became 'Mr DIY' which he had never been before. He did tiling, built a small wall and did all sorts of things that would have been unheard of before his illness. I think there was an element of 'look I'm not old and sick, I can
do lots of things'. I can understand that, bless him.

I'm the same. I've been out today and felt ok but I have had to have a sleep when I came back 8pm til half 9 and then tomorrow I will be on my knees, resting up, not doing much at all. It's a pain, not being able to just do what you want when you want and having to plan rest before anything (I had a rest all afternoon yesterday for today) and generally afterwards too. Still, I'm still here, thank goodness and with multiple health problems, that's good in itself.

kate I think it's great that our husbands think they're invincible. Mine was signed off cardiology 6 years ago, but still goes to the "cardio gym" in the hospital where he is a kind of an unofficial mentor for the newbies.

I don't do the walking the tightrope thing. I am aware when he has overdone things, but perhaps any other 63 year old would be just as tired. And perhaps their hearts are "good as new"

Short of a ball and chain I don't know how I can get him to take more care. I'm sure he still believes he's pretty invincible despite all the evidence to the contrary. On the other hand he was signed off from cardiology 4 years ago and I can't remember the last time he was at doc for anything. Perhaps it's me that's overly concerned?? Very difficult tightrope to walk.

kate my husband's the same as yours (excepting for one less heart attack) - he worked all day yesterday and then played a full game of cricket after that - came home as happy as can be. He is shattered today and complaining about stiff muscles. Still happy though, especially when I tell him he'll always be my 'man of the match'.

My OH has several health problems and cannot do very much for very long - but the results of his overdoing it tend not to be obvious until he has done it, if you see what I men! - and then he collapses in a heap, out of breath, heart all over the place. So he relies on me to remind him that he has been gardening (or whatever) for 30 minutes and it is time to stop. I hate being cast in this nagging role - but it is his wish, as he finds it hard to stop once he gets stuck into a job. Heaven knows what the neighbours must think when I keep nagging at him - but there we are.

I am quite happy with the way I post thanks. No need to be worried about me at all.

Sorry Katek. Back to the thread.

I guess he'll know when he's overdone things, so fingers crossed he can continue to be as active for as long as possible (he puts my DH to shame )

"There is an in between though jingl".

soon do you realise just how patronising you sound?!

He's got a very robust constitution - seldom gets colds, stomach upsets, viruses. He also comes from a long lived family- his great gran was 94, his grandmother 93 and his father is still going strong at 87. They all were/are in full possession of all their faculties. Think good genes have helped his overall health.

Flipping heck! He sounds like Superman Katek! I'm not surprised you're concerned, but goodness knows how you can restrain him.

Oh. Ah. It is going to be much more difficult for him if he has no warning signs.
Has a doctor given him any guidelines at all?

Oh and he still works full time and does 2.5/3 hour commute as well!

Oh he's very happy! I have learnt to let him have his head more than I'm comfortable with, but sometimes he takes it just a wee bit too far. He has a stent in one artery and another artery is completely blocked and working on a reduced collateral blood supply. He also has PVD affecting both legs. Despite this he has no cardiac symptoms at all. No breathlessness, no angina, so he has no warning signs of over exertion.

There is an in between though jingl.

I dont think that you can change such people. I know someone like him, who suffered the consequences. I presume that was the way he wanted it. But in his case, his widow acts much the same.

The only thing that I can think of that might work is asking how many more years does he want to see his dgd grow up. But presumably he has thought of that.

He is choosing quality over likely quantity.

Oh, bless him. If it makes him happy......! Perhaps he does know his limitations. It would be bad if he was sitting in a chair all day. (for him, not you)

True soon, but he's not an island and does have wider responsibilities than just doing what he wants to.

It is the way he chooses to live his life, regardless of you and anyone else.