What or Pardon-Neither!!!!

I was taught to say, 'What did you say?' as 'What?' sounded abrupt and rude and should only be used as an expression of disbelief, as in, 'Yer What?'

Nowadays people tend to say, 'Sorry?' if they don't hear you the first time or if on the phone, 'Say again?' which I find irritating.

Agree with trisher and merlotgran.

I really don't care - isn't this all some kind of snobbery?

So long as i understand that someone is asking me to repeat something they didn't hear or understand then that's fine by me.

It's a tricky one. I agree that 'pardon' is wrong, but because it's the word that is in majority use, teaching your child to say 'excuse me I didn't hear' or 'what did you say' may set them apart from their peers. With the incidence of bullying such an issue in schools, the last thing anyone would wish to do is bring their child up to be 'different' in any way.

Also, either of the alternatives are likely to be shortened: 'excuse me', to my mind, is the equivalent of 'pardon', i.e. apologising for some minor wrongdoing, and 'what' does sound rather blunt (although I've always understood that this is the expression favoured by the upper classes ).

I use all sorts of phrases when I don't hear what someone said: "Say again?" "I didn't hear that", "I couldn't hear what you said; you're muttering again", "comó?" or, of I'm feeling particularly Lancastrian "Yer what, luv?"

An enquiring tilt of the head works too.

"What?" Is correct. It's short for "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Or so I was taught by a fantastically knowledgeable headmistress, sixty years ago.

Silly question, isn't it? Obviously it depends on whom you are talking to. If a complete stranger asks me a question I haven't properly heard or understood, I'd say 'pardon' or 'I beg your pardon'. If it's one of the family I'd usually say 'what?'

I usually say "sorry" in a questioning tone. Unless it's DH. He gets 'wot?'

Oh dear, my family has been been using English incorrectly all these years...

Shite!

Now that might be considered bad manners jbf!
Just discovered this survey probably came from a past discussion on mumsnet.
Now i really am sorry I drew attention to it!!!!

Ah yes, "Sorry?" I use that all the time.

Why trisher? I was sympathising with Ana!

Thanks jingl. But I think I can live with it...

I beg your pardon! Not just pardon on its own!

and, I was taught that pardon was short for 'I beg your pardon, I didn't hear what you said!'

I was taught that by Mrs Bucket my mother and we all know that she is always correct!

like anno, it depends totally on context and whom I am speaking with/to.
We all speak several 'languages', with different registers- depending on the audience. Many of us also have several accents depending on audience too- I can still speak my broadest local Swiss accent (Neuchâtel) including local words and expressions and also lose it totally when required (which I had to to teach French in the UK and also for jobs).

And to some extent the same in English- I do not speak the same with my Surrey relatives as I do with some of my old friends from Stoke or Leicester - I can do a bit of Brum and Liverpool- but tried and tried Geordie and cannot do that at all, probably because I've never lived in North East.

I was always taught that 'Pardon' was very non U.

When I took my VHF radio licence exam we were told to use 'say again' if we didn't hear or understand something. I should have asked why.

I thought say again was a military phrase?
I always say "I'm sorry?" Or "I beg your pardon?" What belongs to the upper echelons though I do also shout it to my husband.

Say again is perfectly clear. Probably the best thing for radio operators to use.

I tend to say "Sorry?" or "say again". My excuse for the second, which some of you don't like, is that I do come from a military family.

I was always taught that 'Pardon' was very non U So was I HildaW. It's what the nanny taught the children and the parents then had to undo

Someone, and I have forgotten who, said "'Pardon' is fit only for talking to servants or dogs..."