Mrs, Miss or Ms

Double barrelled names are now illegal here (where I live in Switzerland) for that very reason. A couple can adopt either name, and give either name to children, but not double barrelled, as you say it gets ridiculous within a couple of generations.

A strangely interesting discussion this. I generally give my name without a title and I've never been too worried about being Mrs or Ms, but do find easier to have Ms available when addressing someone and not to have to worry about whether or not they're married and upsetting them. We don't make that distinction for a man. These days it really isn't necessary and Mrs does seem a bit old fashioned and fuddy duddy somehow.

As for adopting my husband's surname, I'm more than happy with that. If I'd have had the nicer name we'd have gone with that. I don't like this double barrelled m'larky. It's going to lead to some rather long winded names in a couple of generations!

Always Ms.I don't see why my title should define whether or not I am married to anyone else,male or female,because it is not their business!
I am not a militant feminist and I don't suggest that others should use this title either.I respect anyone's decision to use whatever title they like and hope that they respect mine!

I'm fascinated by this discussion! I've been Miss, Mrs (twice!) and after my last divorce changed to Ms Maiden name. I'm very happy with this but not sure if I'd change back to a Mrs if I ever married again - hey, time yet, I'm only 62!! I often wonder if there's an element of 'protection' by using Mrs? Hey, back off guys, I'm married, I'm a Mrs. So why don't men change their title on marrying? It definitely dates back, as someone mentioned, to a time when men acquired a wife and all her worldly goods and any children took his surname to 'prove' he was their father. I regret giving my third son his father's surname - we separated when my son was 6 months old and father opted out not long after! My eldest son and DiL each exchanged surnames when they married. He is Son HerSurname-HisSurname and she is DiL HerSurname-HisSurname and GDaughter is E HerSurname-HisSurname! I wondered what happens if little one eventually meets someone else with a double-barrelled surname?! Crikey!

If you revert to your maiden name when seperated but not divorced you are not Miss or Mrs so what should you call yourself other than Ms. ??

Very true Lilygran, and working class white males never experienced much power anyway. Historically speaking, the whole gender debate could never be divorced from the class debate.

The problem for white males, surely is that though there may be centuries of discrimination in their favour behind us, this generation never experienced it so it's hardly a case of them assuming they have it all their own way. Privilege, exploitation and equality are more complicated than 'our turn now'.

It's just dawned on me why I began to use Ms. It conveyed : 'My marital status is irrelevant and not your business!' At the time I felt I needed it and using it, awkward at first, became a blessed release. Decades later - I just don't care!

Re white males being discriminated against - it must make an unwelcome change for therm after centuries of being discriminated for. It is very hard to no longer be monarch of all you survey, and no longer be able to just assume that your decisions and wishes are paramount.

I've been a Miss, Mrs and now Ms. That aside I'll respond to anything as long as it's polite! I reverted to my maiden name on my divorce but feel that for me the Ms in some way acknowledges that. Am I a militant, no, feminist, far from. Freedom to choose what you want to be addressed as is nice, but does not define you as a person.

Being of an irreverent turn of mind, once at the sort of serious meeting where those attending have to introduce themselves, i introduced myself as First Sea Lord of the Admiralty. Worked a treat. Ice broken and meeting went well. After that the Consultant chairing the meeting took to piping me aboard every time I visited that particular venue. DH has himself down as a Professor on his Boots advantage card. A rose by any other name and all that? Don't lets get into arguments about nomenclature. We're all in this together.

I find it so easy to pronounce! I don't think it sounds like Miss, more like muzz (with a very short 'u' and a posh southern accent, not my Yorkshire one ). Now mississ or missuss on the other hand just sounds silly the more I say it, and not at easy to pronounce.

OK but how do you pronounce 'Ms'? The way many people say it, it sounds just like 'Miss'. So why bother? I draw the line at 'Mr' and I don't use 'Dr' because it's just misleading.

Have you ever looked beyond your own experience Marmark? Are you aware that it is less than 100 years since women in this country were given the same voting rights as men? Let alone all the other victories in employment, marriage, fertility control etc that were achieved throughout the 20th century. Look beyond that to a world where women are still the property of their fathers until they become the property of their husbands, they are sold like animals, beaten, abused, burned and killed without penalty, their bodies mutilated, their children taken from them, and so on and so on. Do you really need to ask 'why are we not equal to men'.

The issue of whether to call yourself Ms, Miss or Mrs may seem trivial but to many it is a symbol of where women stand in relation to men. Why does it bother you so much that some women choose to redefine such symbols?

Some radical feminists say they are biased towards women in order to even things up a bit.

Like Bikergran, I will always be Mrs. I was also happily married and proud to share my husband's name. The fact that I am now widowed is irrelevant in this respect.

Incidentally,why are we not equal to men? I genuinely don't understand the concept.As I have said,I have never felt inferior or discrimination.
We are different with different capabilities.That doesn't make us inferior.
I find it hard to believe male and female staff doing the same job are paid different rates.
If you ask my son he will say it's the White male that's discriminated against.

Mr absent and I quite often receive letters addressed Mr & Mrs absent, rather than Mr & Mrs Hisname. His family and some of mine tend to address us (on envelopes) as Mr and Mrs Hisname. Neither of us minds.

Someone back in the thread said that their DiL kept her own name but that they (the poster) address envelopes to Mr and Mrs Xxxx. That seems disrespectful unless the DiL has asked them to do that.

I am a Mrs.
My ds is a Dr. (Scientist)
My dil is a Dr.(musician) who kept her own name for all purposes.
My dgs is xxx with mum's surname and then dad's Surname. I never thought to ask if its was double barrelled. I assumed it was a middle name and then surname.
When I post something to them as a couple I address it as ds name and & dil name. Very occasionally I put Dr. In front...Just because I'm very proud of the hard work and effort.I introduce myself just with my name.

No ,Granjura,I am a woman.
To be honest,I'm not sure if a woman is paid less than a man for doing the same job,That would be against the law wouldn't it?All things have to be taken into consideration,there may be technical differences.
Look, I truly believe in equality,straight across the board.I think the radical feminist don't.They want special treatment.

I was a Miss, then I got married and became a Mrs, then I got divorced and became a Ms, then I got married again and now I'm a Mrs again.

I like being a Mrs best.....well this time round.

Don't leave, we are discussing things in a civil manner- and we can agree to disagree. Not sure if you are a man or a woman, I thought a man due to the Mark ..

You can't deny the true statistics about % in management and lower salaries, even for the same job (disguised from the law one way or another), can you?

Well, I will have to leave it there,because I've never felt brow beaten or demeaned in any way. I've never felt unequal,not even to the queen(bless her) different yes .But we all have our values,most of us contribute something.

I will always! be Mrs...I loved being married, and it infuriates me when now I have to fill forms in and state "widow" why! why should it make any difference if your widowed/divorced/separated etc etc . of course some forms you have to state, like the community charge for eg. Depending on what forms I fill in I still try and put Mrs as that's how I see myself and proud of it.