Bit taken aback....

I'm sure he isn't (well I certainly hope not)!

My DGD asked when I'm going to die as I am very old (according to her, I'm 59). She'd been to her other granny's house and was deciding which jewellery she should have when gaga (other granny's name) dies. DGD is only 5 and so matter of fact about these things it does make you

My GD aged 5 asked how old I was and I told her 69 " oh I didn't think you were that old Grandma, I thought you were only 67 " 2 years probably makes a big difference at that age

Oh Katek that's quite funny. But it's just a natural curiosity about the inevitable and while there is no apparent risk of it happening he can talk about it in a detached way.

My grand daughter and I went on a caterpillar hunt and ended up in our cemetery looking at this and that.

One of the graves of a well known lad had a headstone and there were 4 cans of cider on the ledge.Naturally DGD asked why someone had put the cans there and I tried to explain it was not a bad thing but 'querky' to the lad who had died.

She then nonchalantly went on to discuss dying and asked if I was going be in the cemetery. I said no and went on to discuss burial v cremation (very difficult)

When she understood I would not be buried there she just piped up and said "Hmm, so if you want to be in Weymouth or Tenerife then Nan that means we can have a holiday .

Reply, "Well, yes love"

Reminds me of a conversation in one of Deric Longdens books, I can't remember if it was one between him and his mother or one that he overheard.

"When you die, do you want to be buried or cremated?"

"Oh I don't know love, surprise me"

16 year old has already decided what music she is having for me ..I like Rudimental and so she is having "feel the love" so she says she can imagine me jigging about in me box, actually would like to have a pre funeral send off so I can have the party while I am still here,and not the star of the show..

I'm with you there, downtoearth. I wonder if that's why my family gave me such a good party for my 70th. .

BTW phoenix have read all of Deric Longden I love his gentle humour,and stories about his mum

I love his writing too, downtoearth although I haven't read the last one he wrote before he died, I must get round to ordering it.

Most children go through a stage of talking about death, since they can't imagine not being here anymore, they can seem matter of fact about it, or simply think you are going to a fabulous place ( which is what we often tell them after all.) It can be a shock to the system when we first hear it ( intimations of mortality) but one of my DGS's says it so often I realise he just wants us to say ' don't worry, we are not going anywhere just yet'.We say this with fingers crossed.

A small DS1 was talking about heaven, and said "And if God isn't in, we'll go somewhere else"

on a visist to my nanas grave my son said he is becoming catholic and when I asked why he pointed to the catholic section of graveyard and commented on how empty it was .. his theory less catholics die. hmm

My youngest DGD (4) was looking into my eyes ( rather bloodshot after a poor night) and said, ' Your eyes are all cracked'. I stupidly said the first thing that came into my head, 'That's because I'm old'. Her reply was, 'Are you nearly dead then?'

In the bathroom when my youngest DS was about 7 and cleaning his teeth I looked into the mirror and said, "Oh my goodness look at all these wrinkles!" To my horror he burst into tears and was inconsolable. Eventually he sobbed, "That means you're going to die." It took a long time to calm him down. That was 26 years ago and I'm still here and he's still living with me!

I think youngest and oldest think more matter-of-factly about death, a good thing in my book. Can I put in a (non-commission!) plug for my pal's terrific website, whch helps you plan your inevitable exit? www.finalfling.com starts with a wee explanatory video and underlines the message of living life to the full.

The other day, my DGS aged 8, speculating that his other grandma was likely to die before me, told me that he knows what happens when you die. 'You go to a church and afterwards there's food.' He got this from a friend at school he said. (DGS was definitely more interested in the food side of things.)

About getting old, my granddaughter on looking at my wedding photos -Oh Grandma you were quite pretty once!

Brahaspatinda...Many thanks for the link. I've had a quick look and there's lots of useful advice and information there. Timely too, as I've been telling myself for ages that I really need to get my affairs in order....or risk the guilt of knowing that my kids would be left to clear up my clutter

That reminds me winifred01 when one DGD looked at my wedding photo and having considered it for a moment said "You look beautiful Grandma" followed by What happened?" Took the wind out of my momentarily inflated sails!!

When I was about four, I asked why Granny wasn't coming to the park with us and was told that she wasn't feeling well. I patted her knee and said "Never mind Granny, you'll soon be dead"!

Its nice mummsy that your DGD thought you were once pretty but my son in law once said that when he saw a photo of me that my husband keeps in a frame.
When my MIL was in a care homw there were always large pictures on the wall of the person 'in their prime' Some were really lovely women and it did you good to see those photos although sad at what time does to you.

Children of that age are wonderfully pragmatic about most things its only later that things get complicated. I love young childrens' honesty about life whether its the important or the everyday its so refreshing.

My father, 76, died 2 weeks ago from cancer, my children 3 and 1 are keeping us and my mum going, especially the 3 yr old. She knows grandad has died and is not coming back and as young children do is taking this very much in her stride. You can't be too melancholy when she says to nanny, "you won't see grandad today will you...will I be getting a new one? " .

I think it is so much healthier than when I was young. My granddad died when I was 8 and I knew something was wrong as all the 'grown ups' were whispering and it was, obviously, an awful atmosphere but nobody told me for a long time. Children are very resilient, on the whole, and cope well with the truth rather than hiding things from them.