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Down to earth with a bump!!

(69 Posts)
kittylester Sat 29-Aug-15 16:34:01

The other day I was talking to someone who bought my ex-sister-in-law's house. ExSil moved about 5 years ago and the person who now lives in the house (who must be at least 45!!) said 'the old lady who lived in the house before us .........'.

At the time, my exSiL would have been 60 and is 6 months younger than me! I was feeling quite good about myself until then!

Bellanonna Sat 29-Aug-15 16:41:15

I was on holiday in Kenya with my daughter. One day I was late down to breakfast and the waiter asked her where the old lady was. I was 49 !

Bellanonna Sat 29-Aug-15 16:41:56

Btw I didn't even look that age !

ninathenana Sat 29-Aug-15 16:49:48

60 isn't old for heavens sake and you certainly don't sound old kitty
My aunt is an old lady, she's 87 but she's nothing like the lively 80 something's on GN sue thinks and behaves like someone 10 yrs older. It's a lot to do with attitude.

annsixty Sat 29-Aug-15 16:56:18

It is nina my mother always "thought young" and stayed that way until she died at 101. I hope I am the same.

KatyK Sat 29-Aug-15 18:04:59

One of my neighbours was affronted because her doctor referred to her as elderly. She is 92 grin I was asked when I was due to retire when I was 45, asked if I was my sister's mother about 2 years ago (she is 58, I am 66), asked if I wanted senior citizen's rate when buying a ticket for something when I was in my 40s. On the brighter side, lately I have been with my granddaughter someone referred to me as her mum (she is 15). When I accompanied my daughter to a hospital appointment last year she referred to me as 'mum' and a young nurse said to her 'that's never your mum she looks too young'. I'm going to take the positive comments smile

thatbags Sat 29-Aug-15 18:17:38

If one is as old as one feels, why does it matter what someone else casually, knowing pretty much nothing about one, thinks? If people I don't know and who don't know me think I'm older than I am, or younger, I don't give a damn because it doesn't make a scrap of difference to anything at all. Beats me why it seems to bother people (if it doesn't bother them why comment on it?).

I think we are over-concerned (touchy) about age and should relax.

KatyK Sat 29-Aug-15 18:32:52

Perhaps I am very shallow then because at the time it REALLY mattered to me that that particular lady thought I was my sister's mum. She said to my sister 'this must be your mum'. I found that rather rude. Why did she assume was her mum? We don't look alike really. I could have been anyone. Wait to be introduced. Don't assume. It's insensitive and can be hurtful. I had been through a trauma with my physical appearance and I had sorted it and felt better about how I looked than I had for many years. Her comments made me unsure. Sorry to have turned a light hearted thread into a rant! blush

soontobe Sat 29-Aug-15 18:40:22

It depends how you want to be perceived and treated I guess, thatbags.

On the plus side, younger people often cannot tell the difference bwtween a 40 year old and someone who is 60.

shysal Sat 29-Aug-15 18:57:12

At my brother's wedding, I was asked if I was the mother of the bride. His wife is only 8 years younger than me. However, she does have a young step-mother, so I hope that was the reason for the assumption!

I have no problem with looking my age, but do feel that I think younger than some of my similar aged acquaintances.

annodomini Sat 29-Aug-15 19:15:12

A friend who came round to visit after I'd had my hip replaced asked if my sister (who had come to 'look after' me) was my daughter. She's younger but not that much younger - 4.5 years.

sunseeker Sat 29-Aug-15 20:06:43

When I was a teenager I sometimes took my grandmother's friend out in her wheelchair. Grandma always said that as a young woman her friend was "no better than she ought to be". (They were friends from school days and despite living different lifestyles remained friends for their entire lives). She must have been around 70 then and she was great fun, except she used to embarrass me by pinching the bottom of any young man within range. She claimed it happened to her often enough when she was young that she was only getting her own back! That's the sort of "old" lady I want to be.

absent Sat 29-Aug-15 20:23:42

I don't think young people believe there is a difference between 40 and 60 – both are regarded as positively ancient. smile

soontobe Sat 29-Aug-15 20:25:14

smile

MamaCaz Sat 29-Aug-15 20:35:57

I admit to feeling slightly peeved when the (very) young girl on the pharmacy counter asked me if I was over sixty, when I was still in my forties - just. However, I have been more bothered by some of my mothers' comments on how I look - she spent ages telling me recently how young my older brother still looks, then went on to tell me that I look my age. hmm

annodomini Sat 29-Aug-15 21:10:20

I was just under sixty when, in Paris, I was buying a ticket for the Bateaubus and the ticket seller asked me if I was 'retraiteé'. I replied, 'non' and only then did I realise that I could have had a concessionary ticket for pensioners. Last time I was in Paris, I found that there was no concession available!

Deedaa Sat 29-Aug-15 21:32:04

My grandmother had to have an operation when she was over 90 and was very cross when she was put in a ward full of old ladies!

numberplease Sat 29-Aug-15 22:33:19

I don`t know how old my daughter-in-law thinks I am, but last week, when we were discussing a 40s wartime day that we`d been to whilst on holiday that week, asked me if I`d been a land army girl! I know I`m old, but not that flipping old!

Maggiemaybe Sat 29-Aug-15 22:40:36

When my DMIL lay dying, a friend of hers, aged 101, was in tears and particularly upset because she was "just a young 'un". DMIL had just turned 94.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 29-Aug-15 22:44:28

That is nothing. When I was a newly qualified teacher, early twenties, I was teaching about the stone age. One of the children looked at me and asked'

"Did you used to live in a cave Miss?"

Not impressed..

fluttERBY123 Sat 29-Aug-15 23:08:19

I have recently started to go to the local old folks' centre "but only as a volunteer to help the old people there". I don't mind being how I am and flaunt my hearing aids where possible - why are aids so taboo when glasses aren't?

I do get fed up w ageism sometimes. I squat a lot to do the weeding and was doing so getting some stuff out of the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet when someone who was about 30 yrs younger said in amazement "Wow, I can't do that!" - sub text, hell you look far too old to be able to do that. The same with a chat about the Christmas party that had happened the day before. Young lad says as if talking to a child, "So I bet you were up there dancing on the table!" Piss off.

fluttERBY123 Sat 29-Aug-15 23:09:41

I suppose what I mean is that it's OK for me to say I'm old, but not OK for other people.

thatbags Sun 30-Aug-15 07:09:53

Why?

Nobody seems to mind if anyone thinks them younger than they are. That, to me, is ageism, not all this perfectly natural stuff that people make a fuss about or joke about. For example, I think that people in their nineties who object to being thought old are either joking or senile. Whenever I've heard that kind of thing it has been a joke.

NfkDumpling Sun 30-Aug-15 07:33:00

i worry that other people are now starting to see me as old and make allowances for my being old. Automatically giving me retired discounts without asking, helping me with doors and bags. Being nice! My body is obviously showing it's age, it's letting me down. I'm not ready to be old yet!

kittylester Sun 30-Aug-15 07:51:56

I rarely think about my age and I think that's why it's a shock when someone else 'comments' about it. The person who mentioned my exSil obviously didn't see me as being of a similar age or she wouldn't have said it but, nevertheless, she saw her as an old lady then and I am now six years older. shock