Down to earth with a bump!!

When my DMIL lay dying, a friend of hers, aged 101, was in tears and particularly upset because she was "just a young 'un". DMIL had just turned 94.

I don`t know how old my daughter-in-law thinks I am, but last week, when we were discussing a 40s wartime day that we`d been to whilst on holiday that week, asked me if I`d been a land army girl! I know I`m old, but not that flipping old!

My grandmother had to have an operation when she was over 90 and was very cross when she was put in a ward full of old ladies!

I was just under sixty when, in Paris, I was buying a ticket for the Bateaubus and the ticket seller asked me if I was 'retraiteé'. I replied, 'non' and only then did I realise that I could have had a concessionary ticket for pensioners. Last time I was in Paris, I found that there was no concession available!

I admit to feeling slightly peeved when the (very) young girl on the pharmacy counter asked me if I was over sixty, when I was still in my forties - just. However, I have been more bothered by some of my mothers' comments on how I look - she spent ages telling me recently how young my older brother still looks, then went on to tell me that I look my age.

I don't think young people believe there is a difference between 40 and 60 – both are regarded as positively ancient.

When I was a teenager I sometimes took my grandmother's friend out in her wheelchair. Grandma always said that as a young woman her friend was "no better than she ought to be". (They were friends from school days and despite living different lifestyles remained friends for their entire lives). She must have been around 70 then and she was great fun, except she used to embarrass me by pinching the bottom of any young man within range. She claimed it happened to her often enough when she was young that she was only getting her own back! That's the sort of "old" lady I want to be.

A friend who came round to visit after I'd had my hip replaced asked if my sister (who had come to 'look after' me) was my daughter. She's younger but not that much younger - 4.5 years.

At my brother's wedding, I was asked if I was the mother of the bride. His wife is only 8 years younger than me. However, she does have a young step-mother, so I hope that was the reason for the assumption!

I have no problem with looking my age, but do feel that I think younger than some of my similar aged acquaintances.

It depends how you want to be perceived and treated I guess, thatbags.

On the plus side, younger people often cannot tell the difference bwtween a 40 year old and someone who is 60.

Perhaps I am very shallow then because at the time it REALLY mattered to me that that particular lady thought I was my sister's mum. She said to my sister 'this must be your mum'. I found that rather rude. Why did she assume was her mum? We don't look alike really. I could have been anyone. Wait to be introduced. Don't assume. It's insensitive and can be hurtful. I had been through a trauma with my physical appearance and I had sorted it and felt better about how I looked than I had for many years. Her comments made me unsure. Sorry to have turned a light hearted thread into a rant!

If one is as old as one feels, why does it matter what someone else casually, knowing pretty much nothing about one, thinks? If people I don't know and who don't know me think I'm older than I am, or younger, I don't give a damn because it doesn't make a scrap of difference to anything at all. Beats me why it seems to bother people (if it doesn't bother them why comment on it?).

I think we are over-concerned (touchy) about age and should relax.

One of my neighbours was affronted because her doctor referred to her as elderly. She is 92 I was asked when I was due to retire when I was 45, asked if I was my sister's mother about 2 years ago (she is 58, I am 66), asked if I wanted senior citizen's rate when buying a ticket for something when I was in my 40s. On the brighter side, lately I have been with my granddaughter someone referred to me as her mum (she is 15). When I accompanied my daughter to a hospital appointment last year she referred to me as 'mum' and a young nurse said to her 'that's never your mum she looks too young'. I'm going to take the positive comments

It is nina my mother always "thought young" and stayed that way until she died at 101. I hope I am the same.

60 isn't old for heavens sake and you certainly don't sound old kitty
My aunt is an old lady, she's 87 but she's nothing like the lively 80 something's on GN sue thinks and behaves like someone 10 yrs older. It's a lot to do with attitude.

Btw I didn't even look that age !

I was on holiday in Kenya with my daughter. One day I was late down to breakfast and the waiter asked her where the old lady was. I was 49 !