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British reticence

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vampirequeen Mon 31-Aug-15 09:47:21

Yesterday we went to a mediaeval day at Bolsover Castle. Since I decided to grow down and do things that I used to be worried about, I was chatting away to the re-enactors when I realised that there were very few visitors actually instigating conversations but once one had started a small crowd gathered to listen. It dawned on me that it was the British thing about not drawing attention to yourself or not wanting to bother people even though the re-enactors love to talk to visitors.

The jousting was fantastic but again no matter how much the commentator tried to entice the crowd to cheer very few in our area did. Well until we started. It was really weird to sit with so many excited but silent people. Apart from the odd subdued, "Ooooh," people didn't get involved. We didn't feel constrained to be quiet esp when the Knight of the North was taking part. Oddly once we'd started whooping and hollering there was a ripple effect around us as if by drawing attention to ourselves it made it OK for others to join in and everyone enjoyed the freedom to be noisy.

What is it about the British that makes us so reticent in situations where it would be totally acceptable to be loud and excited?

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petra Mon 31-Aug-15 19:39:55

Is there nobody that you just have to get up and dance to?

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Maggiemaybe Mon 31-Aug-15 20:36:11

Loads for me. Dancing in the Dark. Walk of Life. Come on Eileen blush. I'm a shameless dancer. Don't whoop and holler though.

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janeainsworth Mon 31-Aug-15 20:42:10

Me too Maggie. Uptown Girl, Hey Baby, Brown-eyed Girl, there's no holding me back.
Couldn't whoop or holler to save my life, though!

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vampirequeen Mon 31-Aug-15 21:02:36

It doesn't have to be whooping and hollering. Dancing is the same. Think about the dance floor at a party. Loads of people want to dance but very few are happy to be the first on the dance floor so it stays empty for ages until some gets the courage/dutch courage to get up. Once a couple of people are dancing then others get up and the dance floor quickly fills. It's that British reticence again stopping people from doing what they want to do until someone else does it too.

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Maggiemaybe Mon 31-Aug-15 21:10:12

Oh, I don't mind being first up, if the music's right. DH allows himself to be dragged along - if it's a soul classic he's more enthusiastic. Uptown Girl and Brown-eyed Girl are another two of mine, janea.

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jinglbellsfrocks Mon 31-Aug-15 21:12:22

Oh, dancing is different. I thought we were talking about middle-aged men on decrepit horses, pretending to be knights of old. I will dance with the best of them. Not had the chance for a long time though. Apart from round the kitchen table.

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jinglbellsfrocks Mon 31-Aug-15 21:13:03

Abba!

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jinglbellsfrocks Mon 31-Aug-15 21:13:31

(V good for kitchen dancing)

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janeainsworth Mon 31-Aug-15 21:32:32

You're right maggie if the music's good there's no reticence. It doesn't bother me being first up either.
I always think it's a pity when people have got up and had a few dances and then the DJ puts on some terrible record and everyone sits down again.

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Judthepud2 Tue 01-Sep-15 20:02:15

Come on Eileen; Dancing Queen; I Want to Dance with Somebody; I Will Survive! or a bit of Bollywood. But I nowadays need a wee bit of alcohol in me to stop me thinking I shouldn't be making a fool of myself. I didn't used to be reticent on the dance floor grin

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janerowena Tue 01-Sep-15 20:30:01

It depends what mood I am in. I'm quite happy to ask questions in front of other people, I jived with my niece's partner (30 and gorgeous!) at my other niece's wedding this weekend and we were the only ones on the floor at the time - but occasionally I will walk into a room full of friends and not feel up to talking to anyone that day.

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Elrel Tue 01-Sep-15 23:06:33

Petra - just saying how 'people might look at me' stupidly inhibited me when I was younger.
Can't quite see how that would affect those 'who want to enjoy life'! Surely that's what everyone wants!!

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