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Would you ask your neighbour for a cup of sugar?

(47 Posts)
petitpois Fri 18-Sep-15 14:24:50

I've been living in the same road for almost 3 years now. I always say hi to the neighbours when I see them outside but both sets are a bit...curt. They'll nod and acknowledge me but there's no stop for a quick chat about the weather or anything like that. I get that everyone's very busy these days but I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable calling round to either house for a cup of sugar - something I wouldn't have thought twice about in our old neighbourhood where there was a real community spirit.
What's it like where you are?

harrigran Fri 18-Sep-15 19:32:19

I have been in my house 44 years and I have never borrowed anything from a neighbour. I am on good terms with them and keep an eye on the house when they are on holiday and take in their parcel deliveries. Neighbour once fixed my toilet cistern because DH worked away and I am useless at DIY.

rosesarered Fri 18-Sep-15 19:40:21

I have always been on good terms with neighbours, wherever we have lived( moved many times) and I could borrow something from several of our neighbours if I needed to.

Tegan Fri 18-Sep-15 20:38:23

My neighbour has my key and burglar alarm code [in a sealed envelope]. When we first lived here [40 years ago] a lot of us realised we all had the same lock on our back doors which came in very handy at time. One day I realised on the way into town with the ex that I'd left something cooking in the over. Phoned up my neighbour who went round and took it out.Driving home the ex said 'why was Roger laughing at you when we drove up the road?'. It was quite sad when we all started to make our homes more fortress like. None of us are in and out of each others homes, but there is always a door to knock on if help is needed. I do wonder what it would be like living anywhere else; some of the neighbours have been here since the houses were built and people very rarely move away.

rojon Fri 18-Sep-15 20:45:17

I moved to this road because in my old neighbourhood there were no women in my age group who spoke English. This road is a little better but many rented houses so neighbours change. However I joined the local church (different religion) who are very friendly and welcoming and through them now have quite a wide group of friendly acquaintences. Sadly few visitors yet calling for a cuppa and a natter but I live in hopes.

TwiceAsNice Sat 19-Sep-15 00:08:12

My next door neighbour on the one side was very welcoming when I moved in and we now put out rubbish and water plants for each other when we go away, she will also take a parcel in for me if it arrives when I'm in work. The family across the road are friendly and will always chat if we're in the front garden/ drive at the same time and with both of these we send Xmas cards to each other. The family on the other side of me never speak unless I say hello to them and then they sometimes don't even answer me, I sent them a Xmas card when I first moved but never got one back. Some people just can't be bothered to be friendly but my other nice neighbour is really lovely and makes up for it, she knocked the door last week with a jar of home made chutney for me.

Elrel Sat 19-Sep-15 00:27:01

Each side of me are widowers who lost lovely and beloved wives a few years ago. One insists upon working in my front garden and the other has my key and alarm number. Both take in parcels for me, as do other neighbours, and the one with my key goes in and picks up my post when I'm away. I've borrowed a strimmer and a plane and been given the plane, tomatoes, beans and a garden chair. I take them cakes and share plants. One has space in his freezer so when I've filled my small one I take the overflow round. In fact our whole little terrace of 20 houses is very friendly and supportive when needed. Ex council houses, not a smart area, but I'm lucky to live there, I feel safe and although we don't spend time in each others' houses I know I'm among kind people.

Eloethan Sat 19-Sep-15 01:11:09

I wouldn't say any of our neighbours are our "friends" because we don't mix socially. But we get on extremely well and we buy birthday presents for our neighbours' two children and exchange Christmas cards - and they buy us a small food hamper. Our neighbours on the other side are also very nice but their social lives revolve round the church and, as non-believers ourselves, we don't have much in common. But the wife occasionally bakes bread, scones or rolls and brings some round to us - which is really nice of her.

I had a very dear neighbour who lived a few doors away from us. He was an elderly widower and used to come round to have a cup of tea and a chat. I was sorry when he moved to be near his daughter but we kept in touch by phone and letter. Sadly, he died a few years after moving.

When we were first married and lived in rented hospital accommodation, our neighbours were also people that my husband worked with and it was a very communal atmosphere. We are still friendly with one family after nearly forty years.

We've only had one set of neighbours that we really didn't get on with, when we lived in Horsham, so I suppose we've been quite lucky.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 19-Sep-15 16:31:57

I have been asked for matches, the drying room key and other bits and bobs from the neighbour across the foyer.

my neighbour popped out to see how I was after I faceplanted the grass outside the flats.. (must get the pliers out and close those hooks on my boots)

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:23:52

I have trouble with my neighbours over parking. None of them are particularly friendly, might just comment on the weather that sort of thing. If I could change them I would. Not exactly neighbours from hell just people to avoid. My attitude is 'if these people are not important in my life then I don't worry about them', in other words they become invisible. No way would I ask any of them for a cup of sugar, sooner go without.

AlgeswifeVal Sat 19-Sep-15 22:24:55

whoa done something wrong. they are getting their revenge. Does anyone know how to delete a few unwanted posts.

Nelliemoser Sun 20-Sep-15 00:21:22

AlgeswifeVal These multiple posts are blip that happens every so often.
All the posts show exactly the same time and you cannot do that deliberately. (I once tried,)
It's not your fault. I am not sure any GNHQ techies have ever tried to explain this phenomemon.

AlgeswifeVal Sun 20-Sep-15 10:47:54

Thankgoodness for that Nellie. It is a bit embarrassing. I have done a report so hopefully they will all be deleted, all but one.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 20-Sep-15 22:30:05

Having trouble with the pc/mobile phone as well? grin

wonders if the poster chaos has wandered over from MN

granjura Mon 21-Sep-15 11:43:59

We are so lucky to have always had brilliant neighbours, both in the UK and here- bar an old grumpy man one side, at our first house (who broke our cat's jaw by throwing a stone at him and not reporting it! - yes THAT cat!)...

we help each other out all the time, and yet without being toooo close. Sugar, tools, practical help in so many ways- looking after each other's pets and gardens during hols, etc. Great neighbours make a huge difference.