being a bit -nosey- interested GN past

Nellienoser

I read Galen's post as meaning "Does it matter anyway whether lefthanded is male or female?"

Unless we are discussing menopause, childbirth or badly fitting bras it is the post that is interesting, not the gender of the poster.

Childbirth? Well, he may have been present at the birth of his children, though not actually experiencing it, and his wife's menopause may have had repercussions on him. Even in a discussion of badly fitting bras a man could have parallel views on the evils of badly fitting underpants

Elegran Behave yourself!

Galen do you mean it doesn't really matter if GN doesn't have very many men? If so I would agree with that. This forum is self selecting. If I wandered onto a predominately male populated GN I think I would feel very much adrift and not stay long.

Lefthanded can you suggest how you feel we might better " engage with a male userbase."
This site has mainly woman members and because we are woman we probably lack any understanding of what a "male userbase" expects or wants from this forum.

As for comments being ignored that seems to apply to everyone at some point. We tend to just throw in our views for whoever cares to read them without always expecting a response.

My view is that GN is here for a chat, advice, sometimes a virtual hug and at times to be plain silly and just have a laugh. There are a lot of posters for whom GN is a lifeline for some social contact.

Please give us a clue about what you would expect.

There are several posters who could be interestingly introduced to others - who might well be re-incarnations of themselves. I can think of a few explosive pairings.

I appreciate that men are in the minority on GN, but as far as I can see they have been made welcome on this site, fussed over even, Michael who often opens the thread on "Good morning" is asked after by fellow posters if doesn't post for a day or two.

I'd like to see the return of Frank, remember him, self appointed wills expert particularly with regards to inheriting the family house from remaining parent, amid verbal accusations from said parent's love interest! not to mention his wonderful four legged side kick Andie and what of Ivanhoe?, I can think of several posters who would enjoy a "euphoric meeting of minds" with him, although it has occurred to me that maybe he has morphed into at least one of them it's not always apparent that a poster is male, if user name doesn't suggest that and he doesn't give us a clue to what his sex is.

Does it matter anyway?

Oops yet again. I did not realise lefthanded etc

When GN did a census a while ago, 90% of those who responded said they were female and 10% male.

The average age was 60, but there were members of all ages up to 80 plus.

i wish I coulkd remember more.

I did realise lefthanded was male until he said so. I suppose on here you could choose to claim whichever gender you would like to be.

I have just been digging around on t'internet to see if there are any statistics on how many males vs females would use a chatty thread like this. I can't find any.
The one gardening one I am on seems more equal gender wise but then gardening appeals to both genders.

My "hypothesis" is that given that men are known to be generally less likely to seek medical advice when they are concerned about health issues than women, the sort of attitudes and reluctance to admit anxieties to others, would suggest to me that they are generally less likely to involve themselves on a male forum chat facilty styled like GN. If it were car repairs, fishing, football etc may be they would join in.
Yes I am stereotyping.

It appears that in premier league football the gender difference of attending a match is about 70% men 30% women. Which does then suggest that men and woman do in general have quite different interests.
I know there will be exceptions and that some of these differences have been imposed by culture.

Would any of us female Gnrs choose to go on a general forum like this that has a huge preponderance of men?

Now do the men who come on here just feel a bit like a fish out of water because so much chat is female oriented, or do they feel we actively try to chase off men off.

This is sounding horribly like a herd of animals where the females and babies congregate together and the unattached males wander off to play on their own for a few years.

Could you specify how threads could be less sexist, please, leftie? Or give a few examples of what you've read on here that's sexist. Genuine request, as sexism is not something I've felt to be a fault of Gransnet threads. I'd be sorry to think any of my posts were seen as sexist.

I'm not really into cat pictures.

I don't agree Jbf but it is probably not important whether we know a little or a lot about people on here. What I do see is a "my personality is both more acceptable and more Gransnet than your personality and my interests are more acceptable and more Gransnet than your interests" culture. It is only among a few but I find it just as uncomfortable as any other prejudice. Some of the ways threads are hijacked reminds me of the right-wing bullies who go into peaceful communities just to make themselves heard and destroy the peace others are enjoying. I don't know why either group would do that.

O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!

Actually left-handed, Pompa used to join in on lots of the threads, with humour and comments, which were always welcome.
He seems to have wandered off at the moment but he'll hopefully be back.

Yes, perhaps you didn't make it clear that you were interested in going to the Midlands meet-up, left-handed and your comment about the handbag was just taken as a joke.

Yes, lefthanded Go to the shed and post something like, "Where are all the blokes then? I came in with my chisel on one hand and my Best Grandad mug in the other, but there's no-one here?" One of the grandads will answer - Grumpa probably.

I didn't know that you were male, so I don't suppose anyone else did either and no-one knew that you would have liked a special welcome. and I am sure that you would not really have been excluded from that meet-up if you had kept up with the thread a bit longer.

I don't think you could hide your real personality on here for very long. And I think it is perfectly possible to get to know what posters are really like after a while.

Our threads are just what we want them to be lefthanded. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start some threads yourself. Or reincarnate that shed thing.

I don't think you are obviously male left-handed. My family is littered with left handers, myself included, and not one of them/us is male so I would tend to assume that you were female. As for being ignored - welcome to the club.

In all honesty, I do not believe that many gransnetters are anti male and any who said things like you suggest were probably only joking. There is another meet-up arranged for Birmingham and one for Market Harborough - please look at the threads and join in if you can!

To be fair, if someone starts a menopause thread it's because they have an issue with something related to it and it wouldn't be appropriate for either sex to comment flippantly and, unless things have changed while I wasn't looking, men have no real experience of the menopause. You could have posted something that your own wife/mother/sister/daughter/niece found helpful/useful if appropriate!

There is no attempt to engage with any user base, as far as I can see, the members have to engage themselves. It is an undeniable fact that most posters are female so most threads are going to have a female bias to them, but, please start some more male orientated threads if you can see nothing to your liking. You never know more males might appear.

Speaking as someone who reads the "last 24 hour" threads every morning, the problem for me is a uneasy feeling that the male input is simply not welcome. After two years on the site, and countless comments, I am left with the impression that any comment from a male perspective is either shouted-down or simply ignored.

There is, quite simply, no attempt to engage with a male userbase. And while I accept that this is mainly unintentional, if it were directed at any other easily identifiable segment of the population then I think people would soon start to complain.

An example may serve to illustrate. A few months ago there was a thread concerning the proposal to arrange a meet-up in a certain Midlands city, and much of the discussion centred on how members would recognise each other. One serious suggestion put forward was that "we should each tie a purple scarf to our handbag". When I commented that as a 64-year-old male I didn't think that would work for me, the replies made it quite clear that if I didn't wish to "fit in" then there would be no point in attending.

Some threads are obviously female-orientated. I would not have dared to comment (even flippantly) on a recent thread about menopause symptoms - but most threads could be less sexist with just a bit of thought.

Being serious about some things doesn't mean that some of us go through life wearing sack cloths and beating ourselves with sticks. I could be wrong [probably am] but I don't think that people 'in the real world' think of me as being humourless. Although I have suggested at times that, in a previous incarnation I was a 'sin eater'...and no one has disagreed with me .

cherrytree you can see what a diverse lot we are, in fact if we were all the same it would become very boring.

As I have said in my last post, the "disposition" of the people you think you know on here is what they choose to share on GN and how you choose to interpret it. Your view of me comes as much from your disposition as it does from mind as does everyone's view of each other on here.

But we are talking about GN surely rosesarered not me personally. I only used the variety of forums I use as an example of how the internet and forums in general have changed.

Not all have your serious disposition GG, it's as simple as that.

Sorry, that should have been Anya. I do tend to muddle you two up.