Renewing Wedding vows

Up to each couple ,if it brings they joy this is all that matters . Just choice, many couples choose never to marry ,their choice.

I don't understand a Roman Catholic priest blessing a marriage of non Catholics , most odd

granjura - what an awful start for you. A day to remember indeed.

As Monica says, and we are all aware, wedding vows are for life.

I have been to one which was held on the couples 40th wedding anniversary. It was at their home and the Priest from their RC church did "the honours". The rest of us, about 25 couples, were then invited to do the same. I was not at all comfortable, we were one of two couples who were not catholic. I felt I should have been told and would have declined or asked if I could go afterwards to the very sumptuous meal.

When I made my wedding vows they were for life. We are both still living, so unless we die and are then resurrected, I cannot really see a need to renew them.

Having said that I do understand that in a world where so many marriages are short-lived to have stayed marriage contentedly for 20 years or more is something truly to celebrate and I can understand why some people choose to do this by a renewal of vows, but, if I were tempted, the idea of the thanksgiving service mentioned by RAF would be very attractive.

I feel rather sad to read all these posts. My lovely husband recently asked me if I would like to renew our vows in church on our Golden Wedding anniversary next year. It felt so very special, being asked. We have had some difficult times, health wise, in the last three years and have always been mindful of the vows we took "for better, for worse; in sickness or in health." To me, renewing our vows means we're still standing! And how lovely it will be to have our children and grandchildren there to witness this.

Why not just have a big party in the garden instead, if you want to do something?

I think a renewal of vows is a very odd thing to do.An excuse for a party?
I have been to a couple of them ( under protest) and found them to be a bit cringeworthy.

We didn't feel the need to renew our vows, as we hadn't broken them, but designed a thanksgiving/blessing service with the help of the Cathedral clergy, as we wanted to give thanks for 40 years together. Our bridesmaids and original wedding guests, and new friends and family came and we had a beautiful service, followed by a tea at the Town Hall and a meal out in a restaurant in the evening, (guests were happy to pay for themselves, or it would have been too expensive). Our children made a speech at the tea and the grandchildren presented me with flowers, which was a lovely surprise. We then left for an extended 'second honeymoon'!

Vows don't wear out so don't need renewing.
I knew a couple who did this at the man's insistence. A month later his wife found he'd been having a long-term affair and he left her for the Other Woman.

We have NEVER felt the need to renew our vows even thought we have been married for 66 years.
Hubby is 87 and I am 85 and we married in 1949. We have had many ups and downs but always been faithful to each other and the only thing that we renewed is my wedding and engagement rings for our 50th wedding anniversary.
He has Dementia and I was his carer until October when I fell and broke my hip in three places that I am still recovering from because I now have an infection in the same leg as the hip I broke.
Strangely enough I broke my hip the same day that my son started his retirement so he has been looking after his dad.

Agree with others - I always feel "didn't you mean it the first time?"!

I really don't think so; the wedding was traumatic enough! I didn't even get married with my own ring, thanks to a last minute change of best man! The whole thing should have been a recipe for impending marital disaster, but next year is our fiftieth! It will be celebrated with a barbecue for wider family and friends, followed by a holiday with the children and GCs when the school holidays start.

Absolutely- we will have a big party but not re-new wows. The surgeon, best friend of my parents', had to sign a document saying that I was fit to make the vows- despite being on a drip and knocked out by a very long general anesthesia and on high doses of pain killers, though. I can barely remember the events- I have to say.

granjura yes, I can see that is a good reason to have a party that you too can enjoy. But, your vows were valid then and are still valid now.
Anniebach I can also see a reason for your daughters point of view.

Our 40th next year , we will be having a nice meal with close family and then off on a special short break for just the two of us.

No! I don't honestly think I could. I would never re-marry if the situation every arose.

I spent £250 on my wedding in 1979 and catered it myself. It was a blast and I loved it and I don't feel the need to renew vows now. However, a local upscale hotel does a very good wedding package saving thousands for a wedding for 100 guests and I am tempted to use it for a second wedding as it would be so much cheaper than their day rate for a ruby wedding do. For me, its the marriage that counts, not the party. But then I am mean and frugal too. What to do?

Oh that was so funny Teetime - remember the ring with PD on it, Michael said it should stand for Puff Daddy!

I think I'd rather have a nice holiday with my husband to celebrate our Golden Wedding next year,,I don't see the need for renewing our vows after all those years together !

I threaten DH with this every now and then to see the horrified look on his face. DD2 wants us to do it as in the Gavin and Stacey episode which was hilarious. No we're not doing it.

It baffles me why one would do it unless there was a specific reason, as Lucky said. Anyway, there is enough going on day to day without trying to plan another wedding. We usually have a big family get together but our wedding anniversary is an excuse not a reason.

I know someone who went on a cruise every year on their wedding anniversary and renewed their vows onboard ship. She had a new wedding dress each time with flowers and the whole lot. He left her!

Our 45th this year and we are going to the panto with family - oh yes we are!
Never felt the need for a vow renewal

Agree with others that it's all a bit unnecessary. The wedding vows include the words 'till death do us part', they do not have any other inbuilt expiry date .
granjura I do think you, however, should have a belated wedding reception/dinner/party, one that you can attend and enjoy after all these years

I don't feel the need to renew my vows they were good for out lifetime to me. I'd rather have a good holiday together anyday.

Thank you nina, my daughter felt it was just a piece of jewellery untill it was blessed in the same church,placed on the same bible , her husband placing the ring on her finger and their hands plus ring draped together ,only then did it become her wedding band