What are we giving my sister?

I told my then H that we were over in August. He immediately went on an internet dating site to recruit a replacement 'servant' and by December he was installed with her and she was delivering his precisely defined Christmas requirements.

Gosh, I'm so lucky. My DH buys my present, wraps it beautifully, writes my card and also writes our Christmas letter which we send out to old friends. I do the card address labels, sign the cards but he posts them. He also buys gifts for the GC and organises some of the family presents. He's a gem!

Mine's like the majority on here, and if I insisted he did it nothing would be done.
He doesn't buy a thing, including no present for me! I'm used to it now after 38 years ?

He too hasn't got the foggiest idea who's getting what present but he's very quick to enjoy being thanked!

Just back from final shop at Tesco. I was wide awake at 4.30 am so decided to get up and go. There were a few more there than I thought would be but it wasn't a major shopping list and so it was quick and easy. This morning I have mince pies to make, ablutions to have and packing for visit to DS's. Probably need a snooze somewhere in that lot!

Happy Christmas GNs one and all!

I have one too - we've been married nearly 45 years and he's never bought anyone (apart from me) a card or a present. He tends to panic buy something for me at the last minute which is usually something I've pointed out to him - last week I found my own and he bought it then said I could have it now which I refused. However this year he has also discovered online shopping and a couple of boxes have arrived which are in his room - very mysterious so yesterday when I'd finished the last minute wrapping I took all the paper in there and left it with the scissors and tape to avoid the usual query if we have any! He's not very domesticated but I wouldn't swap him!

(sorry, no offence to gay people, none intended )

I've brought my DS up to buy cards and go and buy presents, wrap them etc. He now, at 18 hasn't, I don't think, bothered to buy me a card and the present was a click on Amazon, bought the latest Paul O'Grady book which I had just shown him on my laptop and will probably not wrap it neither. It does seem that it is implanted in them, regardless of the way they were brough up.

Saying that, his dad, my ex husband used to go out looking for my present for a whole afternoon and then another afternoon going buying it, so they are not all the same. However, he did get a bit obsessed with dishwashing, washing, ironing and cleaning. I divorced him as I thought I'd turned gay!

You are definitely not alone Alea, the only present and card my husband has ever seen to himself has been for me. The number of Christmasses I`ve bewailed the fact that I want/need help in deciding, choosing, buying, wrapping, writing, but none has ever been forthcoming. He thinks I`m complimented by him saying "you do it better than I could"! I`m not!!

Women in our culture tend to be better at maintaining social and family relationships.
If you don't like it, give notice you are going to stop. When I got married for the 2nd time to a chap with a growing number of close relatives I announced I would not be remembering their birthdays, buying their pressies etc. Pretty much stuck to it. But I was old enough and wily enough after first marriage to start as I meant to go on.
There are lots of things I do take responsibility for though. e.g. making sure we have food in the house.

We don't give each other presents at Christmas, instead we go away to a nice hotel but guess who books it?
Also when we go away on holiday it's " have we booked the crossing/ flight/ got the euros" ? Guess who's responsible?

I don't have a problem getting DH to wrap presents; the problem is that we buy lots of lovely wrapping papers - and then he wraps all the presents in the same one, bless him! He wrapped a football up for GS and used so much tape on it the little chap will be lucky to get it unwrapped by next Christmas!

I have exactly the same problem but I think it is our own fault as my dil started as she meant to go on. She buys the presents for her family and my son buys them for his. As her family is much smaller than ours she certainly got the better bargain. Wish I'd thought of that all those years ago.

Same here Katy's they will all get money he is generous that way so don't think they will complain I have just finished wrapping b---reed now does anyone else find it hard going ?

Grandpajack is not very fit at the moment & can't do much but I suggested that it would not strain him to do the cards this year - and it is lovely to cross that task off. He does buy special wrapping paper for my present though - for one minute I thought I must be married to grumppa!

My previous husband once asked me, as we drove off the ferry in France, if I had packed his razor! I'm second hand Rose as both of my husbands were married before they were fortunate enough to wed me. I had hoped that they were fully 'trained' but sadly not.

Your last sentence made me KatyK as that's so true of DH too and like you I handle all the finances too so it has it's worrying side.
I think it's time to sit him down and go through it all in the New Year.

Mine is the same. I decide upon, buy and wrap all the presents. I sort all the money out too. He said to me this week when we were meeting someone he knows (and I have never met) for a lunch - 'Have we got a spare card?' I said we had and gave it to him. He said 'Could you write it?' I always ask him what he would like for Christmas and he usually tells me one main thing and then I get a few other bits and bobs which he usually likes. He buys me one main present, which I choose and he hasn't a clue what else to get so | end up buying a few little things and giving them to him to wrap. The last couple of years he has bought his own wrapping paper though, so things are on the up If I pop my clogs before him the family will get nothing and no cards will be sent.

You are an exception grumppa

I am starting to feel positively saintly. I always write the cards for my family and friends, and always buy special wrapping paper for my presents for Mrs. Grumppa, which I wrap all by myself.

Same here with same excuses that his handwriting is rubbish and that 'you know all their addresses', yes! because I bother to update and keep the address cards in order. Only 10 mins ago he said I'm going upstairs to wrap your presents eerrrrr! Do we have any paper and sticky stuff? Says he then after 5 mins wrapping its ' where are the scissors' and 'could you make a toasted sandwich, if I stop I'll never get done'. MEN!!! They really are all the same.

The first Christmas after we met in the August I was delighted to receive a leather jewellery box from him and was touched that he'd bought such an appropriate and thoughtful gift.
When it came to my birthday in January I was full of expectation that was when he confessed to giving his sister the money to go and choose my Christmas gift

No, just the same. He even enlists my daughters to buy his presents to me on Birthday and Christmas!!

When our children were small, DH took no interest in what I got them until Christmas Eve when I was setting out all their presents. Woe betide if he didn't think it was a good pile! Times have changed, he's mellowed.

I always smile when family thank my OH profusely for a gift, when he does not have the faintest clue what "we" have given them!

My DH was just the same until he retired. I persuaded him to make computer address labels for the Christmas cards (because he likes using his computer skills) and got him to wrap all the presents (because he is so much better at wrapping parcels than me). It worked a treat.

This only happens because women behave in this way and the men get used to it. I did it for 30 years, because I saw my mum doing it. To be fair my ex also expected it as his mum did it too. It's only since divorce and new experiences I have realised this is not the way it has to be. In fact some men hate it and see it as controlling.