What I will do differently next Christmas

Sorry, I couldn't read all of the posts; I find so many of them beyond depressing!
Yes, I realise that many people are having a difficult/stressy time but, hey you're not unique, we've all had absolute rubbish stuff in our lives! I may appear to be a little unfeeling but if it's really hard, family stuff, then I think that it should be sorted within the family and with those who are most affected. Communication, communication, right from the beginning, is the best way to go. All parties involved may not like, at times, what they're hearing, but keep at it, listen, not just hear, what others are trying to say, and remind others t listen to you! Baby steps! and make sure you're all trying for the same ending! If anyone has a 'me first' agenda then I'm afraid nothing will be resolved.

We do have several unchristmases with various family groups ..so..roast dinner ..usually lamb and all the trimming ..games..grotty telly ..long walk on Sunday after bacon sandwiches ...and bubble and squeak before everyone goes on Sunday afternoon ..all share the expenses ..bring food and booze ..and then Christmas is free for them to to what they want and us too...unusual but works ..

Please can we all remind each other from early November onwards to BUY LESS FOOD? Off to Bournemouth tomorrow for New Year, if I can find anything to pack that still does up, so Happy New Year to all you delightful (even when you're grumpy) ladies.

And we have 361 days to get sorted

I will leave home at the beginning of December and not come back until after New Year! But realistically....

Christmas day went rather well, although DD and sil were a little sleep deprived due to GS's early rising! After lunch GS, DH and i performed a little play i had written about a burglar who steals Santa's christmas present! We played games and no-one watched the tele! On Boxing Day, both my children and their significant others were here, but everyone seemed out of sorts. DS was full if cold, and diL, a radiographer, had just finished a shift at the hospital before they came to us and was very tired. I provided too much food and, unusually, no-one really felt like eating it. It was kind of a listless day.

So next year, if nothing else, cut right down on the food if DH can be persuaded that not having a groaning table for two days is letting the side down! I should lock him in a room and make him eat all the stuff that is left!

We host the big family party the Sunday before Christmas - sisters and all our kids, grand kids etc. 40 this year, hard work and bedlam on the day but so, so worth it.
12 for Christmas dinner and another 5 in the evening. DH helps with the prep and it's all done the day before, turkey cooked and carved, gravy made, roast poatoes almost cooked then re-heated at the last minute (well it's good enough for Mary Berry) and the veg all prepped. It's wonderful to see how much the family enjoy it and are really grateful that we do this for them every year. I hope I can keep doing it for years to come, even though it does take it's toll a little more these days.
Oh and if you want a really good turkey that needs no messing about with I recommend Copac, they're expensive but free range and so tasty - and no I'm not a share holder!

I had a nice Christmas Day; the meal preparation was undertaken in four different households, so definitely a time of sharing.

Boxing Day was pants though, I was on my own and only had a brief telephone conversation with a distant relative.

I like the YH volunteer idea!

I have already started my resolution - it is to start buying presents ready for next year. This year I spent a bit less on each person, so have some money left over to start buying again, instead of having a few things on my credit card and having to wait until it is paid off before I can start shopping again. I have used what little xmas money I was given, and have started up my xmas stash in order to take advantage of the online sales. It's not something I ever wanted to do, but needs must.

Next Christmas, I shall try to relax more, keep my expectations reasonably low and "go with the flow". My family never make up their minds until the last minute what they want to do but somehow it always turns out OK. This year's festivities included Christmas lunch with younger son and daughter as well as my ex. and a visit from baby grand daughter and her mother. Then a long muddy Boxing Day walk through the woods with older daughter, her partner and various dogs.

In the past I have spent Christmases alone but again things have actually turned out OK. A couple of times I had overseas students to stay under the HOST scheme - delightful Chinese girls who taught me such a lot about their culture (and about how incredibly hard they have to work). Another year I signed on as a volunteer at a Youth Hostel in the Lake District and, in return for some cleaning and kitchen prep work, had my own little room for a couple of weeks in a beautiful lakeside mansion with log fires and stimulating company. Highly recommended.

In reply to Victoria08 I know I am very lucky my daughters and I have always been close especially since I left their father who was abusive to me and them. I don't take my good fortune for granted and I'm sorry things have not been so good for you, it wasn't always for us either until I left we spent many Christmases walking on eggshells because of their fathers attitude. No matter what I would still want to spend Chrsitmas with my children/grandchildren rather than go away. It sounds as if you're not sure what reaction you'd get from your daughter if you went away next year and your grandchild will be 16 months old which would be lovely for you.

We went away this year as we had both DDs and families last year in a beautiful house on windermere. This year on our own so we went to a lovely hotel on Ullswater. It was a bit interesting getting there but the food was fantastic and the rooms luxurious. I would happily go back every year from now on. I love the cooking and shopping but I found DH wanted to make everything very precise last year and I'm quite happy to say wait a few minutes for XYZ to be ready.

If possible I would love to do next Christmas what I have done (am still doing) and that is spending it with my No3 Son and lovely wife plus two babies, and my daughter and two children - all together in Bangkok! Never been away for Christmas before, but my son and DiL suggested it would be good for me to get away after The Divorce and spend time with people who really love me - hope that doesn't sound too prissy! So even as we speak I am with them at a friend's beach house and being spoilt rotten and loving it!

Thank goodness I always save Xmas savings stamps, Tesco vouchers etc, so Xmas is paid for in plenty of time, but there's only me, OH, son who lives with us anyway and has a big appetite and MIL, who comes over most days (especially as this year she didn't have any power for nearly 3 days!) and we still have enough food & drink to feed an army for 6 months! At the end of the Xmas/New Year break, we divvy up what's left over - we all hate turkey, so never have one and I'm veggie by preference anyway, so they can fight over meat/fish left-overs! Then MIL pays what we calculate her contribution should be and we forget about it for another 12 months!

In reply to TwiceasNice.

You obviously have daughters who are not Bolshie, who share the cooking and prepping of xmas food altogether. What could be better.

Whenever I cook, especially xmas dinner, my daughter is over critical about everything. Another reason why I won't host anymore.

You have got it made by the sound of it.
Not all of us are so lucky.

After yet another Christmas spent alone (my family, son and GC are in New Zealand), next year I am determined to go away.
Preferably somewhere exotic and warm!
A couple of years ago I spent the 'festive' season in Marrakech with a singles group which was great fun and well worth the money.
That then is going to be my No. 1 resolution for 2016...!
Any ideas of where to go, or even anyone else who might be interested in coming along?

I'd love DH and I to go away for Christmas but that would mean either leaving DS alone or paying for an extra person
His sister is 500 miles away in a small one bed flat.

I will be doing exactly the same spending Christmas with my children and grandchildren. I think I've mentioned before my daughters live literally next door to each other so have shared hosting meals in both houses and on Christmas Eve we all prepped and cooked together. I appreciate you might be fed up if you've always cooked but so what if it helps you all have a better Christmas. I can't help feeling that a daughter with a 4 month old baby isn't the best person to expect to cater for you, think how tired you were when you'd not long given birth. Sorry if it's controversial but if you are in position to be wanted at Christmas by your family and have the chance to spend it with them I think you should consider how lucky you are . Why on earth would you want to go away instead I can't think of anything worse

This year there was just the two of us. No charging about to see relatives, peace and calm on Christmas Day, no family rows,lovely dinner and so far, not thrown anything away. As mr punch says "that's the way to do it".

Sudden change of plans meant being in a small cottage a long way from home for Christmas. We took lots of pre-prepared food but I'm ashamed to say quite a lot of stuff was thrown away (couldn't really deal with left-overs in the tiny kitchen). Next year, if we go away, it will be planned a bit more in advance! At least we were able to see GS which made all the effort worthwhile. Looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again!

I think I'll hibernate

i love everything about Christmas and, fortunately, my daughter does too [especially good as she now lives with me] so we won't do anything different next Christmas.
we'll buy the same amount of food and nibbles as we have done this year and stuff ourselves silly - she doesn't drink but I do so there'll be no change there either.
so it'll be no change and Christmas [well the planning] will start in October as usual.

We spent Christmas with just the two of us ...on the beach..dinner in the slow cooker ..national trust membership for family members ..easy ..no hassle

Hopefully we will have Christmas dinner in my daughters home , that's if she shifts her @rse and finds one that she can afford and vacates my spare bedroom we've loved having her after she finally left her partner of 27yrs but hosting lunch for her 4 plus partners in our tiny house is fabulous but bedlam...

I entirely agree with you Victoria, after 40 + years of doing Christmas I find I too have had enough but dread what the DD will say if we decide to go away for Christmas next year. However, time to start thinking about ourselves. Anything to avoid the stress again next year. I must be one of the few people who actually lost weight over Christmas!

Between Xmas Eve and 27th I appear to have unwittingly offended both my youngest DS and one of my oldest friends. Long story attached to each but my fault (apparently). So having spent a couple of days trying to smooth things am tempted to book a get away abroad next Xmas. Had a lovely day on the 25th with my DD but am now worried about my older DS's drinking and marriage. Oh for a stress free holiday!