Do we know ourselves?

Know what you mean , I had an aunt who i did not get on with very well because I thought she liked to"take over" my brother told me we didn't get on because we were too much alike

have fun tunes on my phone for different people ..my phone went off in the library and the librarian laughed and said "you don't look the sort to have that " and there I was thinking I was quite funky

I was at a meeting and someone asked how old I was. When I replied that I was 70 this year the person said "my goodness you don't look it, nature has been kind to you."

Days later the same thing happened in a different venue. We were discussing age and when I told the person how old I was she replied
"I thought your were about my age 75."

Now I don't know if I look younger than I am or older. Don't even know now how a person is supposed to look when they're in their 70th year.

I always thought I was a really lovely nice person. Recent events have made me realise that I'm not. I'm better than some but worse than others. My MiL likes me and she's hard to please so I'm not too bad. There are bits of my personality I'd like to change. Perhaps we all need psychoanalysing. If we were would it make for a better world or just be painful to find out what truly makes us tick. [ shrug emotion ]

Wasn't it Robert Burns who wrote along the lines of 'oh would some power the gift give us, to see ourselves as others see us' ?

There is no stereotypical 70 year old. There is immense variation in how people of that age look (I am 72). Some are fortunate, they age well, skin remains good, hair plentiful and health good; others are white haired wrinkled, with incipient dementia and poor health, and the rest are everything in between.

Unfortunately the stereotypical picture of a 70 year old is the crabbed old lady, dogged by ill health. If anyone says I look good for my age, I will contradict them and say I look like a typical 70 year old who has been fortunate to age well.

White hair is not a sign of not looking good. Why have you listed it with other negative factors, M0?

Wrinkles don't necessarily look bad either. Nor does lack of wrinkles necessarily look good.

You can have good skin and still have wrinkles, is what I mean.

I love my white hair, couldn't wait for it to happen!

I loved my grandma's white hair, which she'd had from the age of forty, apparently. As a young woman, she'd had black hair. I didn't believe her at first when I was about nine and she told me that!

As for knowing myself, I have a much lower opinion of myself than others do. I think that shows that my efforts to be a better person are working!

I am not listing it as a negative factor but it is a defining factor when 'outsiders' are judging someone's age and abilities. Someone with white hair is seen as much older than someone whose hair is not, or not very much.

DH's best friend, three weeks his senior, started going grey at about 18. By the time he reached 50 he was white haired and his skin was beginning to age to that soft pink skin some elderly men have. Otherwise he was tall, slim and very fit, a typical naval officer, which he was. Away on business a colleague offered DH (short, fat and not fit but, at that stage, with only a little grey hair)a lift to friends house. The next day the work colleague asked DH how it was his best friend was so much older than him. The judgement had been made purely on hair colour and how someone's face had aged.

I was mortified when the receptionist at my brothers care home asked if I was younger or older than he. I was 69 and he was 84. I was furious that she could be so tactless and be in a job where she should be helping people.
Two days later to join David Lloyd they insisted on seeing my licence to prove I was over 65!
That helped.
Now I do not mind how old I look as long as I can move about without pain and can do pretty much what I want. Which is to say walk to the shops, do a bit of weeding, see friends etc.
Mind you I am very pleased with my new hairdresser......

If we truly knew ourselves we'd never get out of bed in the morning! I am a self- absorbed whinger! But with a nasty propensity to want to feel superior to others in at least one respect, then I can feel comfortable with them. I THINK some people like me, as I have often been told I make them laugh, and I'm unafraid of taking the pee out of myself. BUT I DON'T REALLY LIKE MYSELF MUCH. Most of the time I feel as if I'm acting in a play. Anyone else out there feel lime this?

I am not sure that what others think of us truly tells us what we are like. I have a DiL who thinks I am the wicked witch of the west and another who thinks I am the best MiL in the world. They can't both be right.

I've come late to the realisation that its more useful to judge people by what they do rather than what they say. When applied to me it looks like I'm a nosy, TV obsessed, wannabe good Gran. Oh well. Could be worse!

I'm amazing! and I call my silver hair 'wisdom highlights'. Oh, and I'm deluded too. ?

I try very hard not to judge others, but its easier than looking at myself and my own defects !!! Overall I think I'm an OK person.I love and am loved back ,I'm honest, caring and helpful though did have to learn only to help when asked !! As long as I keep my focus on my behaviour and thoughts I can usually manage to stay on track..what other people think of me is none of my business ( thank goodness)

70's the new 45. When I was young, retired people looked, thought and acted old, but now retiring in one's mid-60s, we've got up to half of one's life to that point ahead of us, so may as well think young! I always thought of myself as 45 going on 16, till I had a nasty fall and it triggered a number of health issues which made me aware of Anno Domini creeping on. But I'm lucky in that I look younger than my age, although MIL, at 84, has lovely skin, dark hair (albeit not altogether her own colour!), still independent, driving, living alone in her own house - dead envious!

I try to be kind to others, and keep out of the way of people who don't like me - I do "cold" very well, sadly...
It is also a case of perception - I think i'm shy, and socially inept, I'm told I come over as haughty, snobbish and overbearing. One lady horrified me when she told me that I was a "poweful woman" like her. Moi? powerful???
As for looking at myself, the faults more than override any probable virtues. I have to keep on telling myself I'm not stupid/nasty/whatever all the time.

I can identify with Jaxie and feel like I am acting a part in a play. A part that changes over the course of the day/week depending on who I am with.

Most of the time I don't think I really know if I am a nice person or not.

Complicated and confusing but sometimes lots of fun!!

I met my husband when I was just 18 and was married at 21. We were together for nearly 50 years.

Since he passed away over 3 years ago, I'm finding it difficult to know who I am a lot of the time because my personality was so wrapped up in his.

I keep very busy and try to keep down thoughts such as "without him I'm nothing" and other negative thoughts.

I keep in mind that I am a nan, a mother and a friend and try to remember what I was like before I met my husband.

I think I was optimistic, sensitive, funny and warm hearted but 18 is very young and a personality isn't fully formed at that age.

I'll keep working on it.

I can definitely identify with both Jaxie and Thebeeb. I often wonder who I am really = so many people see me in so many ways and I don't think anyone actually gets me although some say they do - however, they don't!! I can't think of anyone I know who actually knows me, how can they when I still haven't worked it out for myself?

I have always known who I am. The bit that confuses me is how others perceive me.