Three weeks into new motherhood, my daughter asked her husband what he would be doing over the weekend. He reeled off a list of busy things that involved jobs in his workshop, going out for this and that and in general, nothing that apparently featured the new baby :0). My daughter then said 'My ambition is to have one hour where I can have time to myself and have a nice hot bath without being interrupted.'
She wasn't being critical of her husband - just beginning to realise that he simply doesn't think of life with a new baby through quite the same lens. Her DH is a fantastic husband and could not be faulted in his loving support of her and he is totally besotted with his little boy - all the workshop jobs are related to home improvements and setting up the nursery , but he just does not have to think about parenting in the same way as she does.
I said I think the balance of thinking about a baby's needs is unequal. That is just the way it is, not because of any fault, but I think this is the same for all men. Through the job of carrying and birthing (and also reinforced by breast-feeding) I think women have a kind of invisible thread of attachment to their child/children that means we always think of them first and rearrange the rest of life, including our own needs around them. Men just don't have to think in the same way.
That's my take on it what do you think?
Imperfect27 Wed 27-Jan-16 07:38:27
Imperfect27 Wed 27-Jan-16 07:39:52
rubylady Wed 27-Jan-16 08:06:46
Imperfect27 Wed 27-Jan-16 08:41:32
rubylady Wed 27-Jan-16 09:26:11
Imperfect27 Wed 27-Jan-16 18:14:43
Deedaa Wed 27-Jan-16 19:54:44
Marmark1 Thu 28-Jan-16 09:11:29