Granimosity

I am sure my grandsons have been told by my daughter not to tell me how much time they spend with the other lot!

Sorry if my granimosity showed through in that post.

Haha! Despite one co-gran living locally I do the majority of granny care for both lots of DGC but do find a stupid feeling of resentment when, once a month, co-granny has our shared pair for the day instead of me! I really (in my head) know this is great for the children but still (my heart) would like them to be with me. Goodness knows what she feels about me! Not very positive I feel as she is never keen to meet up and share a day together! It's all or nothing!!

My worst grandparenting moment was when I was looking through a photo album with Dgs1, and he actually kissed a photo of his Nanny.

Best moment was when said GS was asked by others in the room at a family gathering, who he would most like to play football with him, and he said "Granny"! [smle] (Nanny was in attendance )

Go jingl

I CBA to worry about it now because there's only one co-granny left and she's younger than me, no aches and pains, no husband to wait on hand and foot, lots of holidays, bit of a glamour puss and makes everyone else drive her around?

Bitchy? Moi?

I'd never had to worry about 'the other one' until recently as she lived abroad. It did annoy me slightly that DGC spent every Christmas with her either in UK or abroad. It would have been lovely to spend some time all together when they were in UK.
When she spent time in the UK in summer I would keep my distance so she could make the most of DGC which seemed only fair.
Circumstances have changed now and time will tell.

The other, Oma, lives just a few minutes away from them in another country so sees them all the time and looks after GS one day a week. She is very happy that we get to talk to him all the time on Skype and we can stay with her whenever we like. She understands it is hard for us not living near. She comes to stay with us for holidays and when we get together we discuss DS, DiL and GS all the time. We even laugh together when it is clear they have things to learn. We feel like we are having a meeting of the GS admiration society. No competition at all and she has become a good friend. We are very lucky.

It is an interesting relationship, the granny to other granny one. It is a new juggling act for us to get our heads round. I think we all have momentary pangs of envy at times, but I always tell myself how lovely it is for the GC to have an assortment of adults to relate to. I suppose for me the difficulty lies in the fact that I am less fit than the 3 other grannies which limits my activities with them; but we try and replace that with lots of reading and craft activities. They accept that one granny does one sort of thing and the other another sort.

Another tightrope for new grannies to walk!

Thanks for the link merlotgran

One of the other grannies lives much nearer but she is lovely and (I hope!) is now a good friend. The only pang was when DGD1 was upset, we were both there but she ran to other granny for a cuddle.
I am saying nothing about the other lot other DGC's GPs

In my youngest grandsons case the other granny and I get on pretty well, he lives abroad and I visit once or twice a year, other granny lives close by to him so sees him all the time and often takes him out or babysits picks him up from day care, even giving Mum and Dad a week off for a trip.

When I go out to visit we make a point of spending time together either with the little one or on our own , we take him to the beach or pool and its then the pangs of the 'green eyed monster' rear up when I see how happy and lovely their relationship is but I push it away because I'm really glad he has such a lovely lady looking out for him.
I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be the hands on granny I've been with my other grandchildren with this lovely boy and its pleasing to me that he has the other granny who will always be there for him and is generous enough to message me on FB with pics and titbits of things she's done with him..

No granimosity here..

I know that,with my children, my mother was the "real " granny, and I still think that the mother's mother will probably have a closer " everyday" relationship with the grandchildren.
Having said that, it's up to the paternal grandmother to find her own way of becoming the favourite!

In my case the paternal GPs have just bought a place in an exclusive French resort,therefore much easier for the DGC to get to. Last summer we never saw them and were very hurt and when told of the new holiday home I blurted out"we can't compete"to my mortification. I know it's not a competition in the parents' eyes and I know SIL loved his 8 week summer hols with cousins in normandy but I suspect either the children don't want to come or the SIL thinks we are a bit down market . But they are safe with us ( French gps are a bit laissez-faire ) and our English is good. Brave

A lesson in not saying too much or you could find your innermost thoughts quoted in the likes of the DM

I have never believed it's a competition, or who lavishes the most money/time on the DGC. Some families seem to have real battles over Christmas and who gets to see DC and DGC the most.
our DGC seem happy with us and I never even think about the other gps and what they do/ don't do.

Where's yer halo missis?

Anya. It's a forum. A public one.

Stansgran, it can be hard can't it? We do try to always put the children first but we're not saints.

Thankfully we've never had this problem because we live "abroad" and so do our various grandchildren. We get to see them when they can spare the time.
Remembering my own grandparents, I think Daddima is right because we actually lived with Mum's parents for a few years. Dad's parents were just around the corner. I think there may well been have some hostility between them because they were so different - MGM was a bit snobby and PGM was very rough and ready, down to earth.

D I Ls mum lives five minutes away,we live just over an hour,so don't see them as often,but definitely no rivalry.The kids are always very excited to see us.Christmas etc,we spend all together,I like DILs mum.Shes on her own,so I wouldn't begrudge her at all.

No rivalry or problems here either. Chinese GP's see them every week but do absolutely nothing with the boys. Spanish GP's do a great deal of childcare but when I go give me every opportunity to spend as much time as I can with the GS's. I can't ask for more and the Spanish GP's are now good friends even though we all struggle with the two languages - thank goodness for phrase books and dictionaries and a sense of humour! Mandarin is a different matter but even without the language problem I don't think there would be a meeting of minds (I have no idea what they think about me !!)

No rivalry whatsoever here, I'm with rosesarered on this.

DS' in laws live abroad, visit several times a year for two weeks at a time; we live 120 miles away, and probably physically see dgs less,vbut FaceTime is weekly event.

I hate the thought of it becoming some kind of competition or getting one up on the other ?

Maybe I'm just lucky; there is a language barrier when we meet the in-laws, but we do get on very well (and I will learn Italian this year, no excuses once I retire!)

I don't think my grandchildren have a favourite granny Daddima. If they do, they don't make a song and dance about it.

I agree with rosesarered too. Dils mum is lovely and I don't feel we are in competition. I don't know how she feels but I think she is glad to have some one to share babysitting duties with. Ds and dil both work and have the occasional weekend away. Both I and the other gran work full-time and I know I am glad to have another Gran to help out too.