Older grans babysitting

Parents, generally, aren't asking grandparents to do large amounts of childminding because they believe it's a valuable experience for the children, or grandparents, but because it saves money for the parents.
That's very nice if everyone is happy about it, but not if the GPs are getting so exhausted they may be damaging their health.
Please don't let yourselves be pressurised if you really find it too much for you.

I was in hospital with neutropenia (following chemo) while my first grandchild was being born in the very same hospital. When I got out I made a beeline to see him and 6 1/2 years on I still love him to bits. His other gran died of cancer the year he was born - she never met him - so I feel incredibly lucky to be here and able to help with his care. He is in school now so it is not as frequent as it was, but he has since then become a big brother, so I have the joy of looking after the cleverest two-year old girl in the world! (No bias there, of course...). To answer the question, yes, it is exhausting, especially as my body has never really recovered from the cancer treatment, but I just have to set limits to how much I can help. I am 66, by the way. I had to reduce the time I looked after the wee girl a year ago, after she began to walk, as I felt I was so tired that I was not going to be able to keep her safe. And now she runs faster than me! Thank goodness for prams, where we can keep them "contained", at least for a while.

I was in hospital with neutropenia (following chemo) while my first grandchild was being born in the very same hospital. When I got out I made a beeline to see him and 6 1/2 years on I still love him to bits. His other gran died of cancer the year he was born - she never met him - so I feel incredibly lucky to be here and able to help with his care. He is in school now so it is not as frequent as it was, but he has since then become a big brother, so I have the joy of looking after the cleverest two-year old girl in the world! (No bias there, of course...). To answer the question, yes, it is exhausting, especially as my body has never really recovered from the cancer treatment, but I just have to set limits to how much I can help. I am 66, by the way. I had to reduce the time I looked after the wee girl a year ago, after she began to walk, as I felt I was so tired that I was not going to be able to keep her safe. And now she runs faster than me! Thank goodness for prams, where we can keep them "contained", at least for a while.

We do one one day each week plus random extras/sleepovers.
Yesterday with schools still off on holiday we did a day out with 8 yr old and 5 yr old.

Light breakfast and then they helped make up the picnic. We headed off to a country park 30 miles away. Through the walled garden and into the maze. Into the sundial garden and explained how they work. One hour in the play park.

Time for picnic lunch.

An hour with the metal detector finding treasure....20p coins that grandad had hidden. Came out of that 60p short.

An archery club was at the gardens so for £2 each they had a lesson on how to properly hold the bow and shot the 6 arrows, two each hitting the target. A very steep climb up to a play park and spent a half hour there. Followed by a 30 minute walk back to the car.
Paid out parking fee and headed for the rock pools 8 miles away with pail and two garden hand trowels. Found crabs, shrimps, sea anemones and lots of pretty stones and polished glass.

Much more difficult for dh and myself getting across the slippery seaweed covered stones. I envisaged a broken ankle and being stretchered off the beach.

Granny .... you're brilliant and sporty, and you're old.
Am I old?
Well, you're not young !!

Eventually we made it safely back onto the promenade. 40 minutes walk back to the car and a KFC bargain bucket for dinner, eating in. Home at 6pm when dgs age five asked......can we learn to play ludo now. Def no!! They were picked up by parents at 7.

My knees and hip joints didn't know if they were coming or going.

Lots of photos of dgc, rainbows and beautiful skies.
And a day that I hope they will remember down the years.

I'm 70 and DH is 75; we travel 40 mins each way each Monday to collect DGS (9) and DGD (7 going on 37) from school, stay with them, and give them their tea, until Mum or Dad gets home. Looking after them used to be exhausting, but as they've got older it's got less tiring and they are now much more self-reliant for entertainment, although they both love sitting down for a game of Scrabble (for which we have to bring our huge dictionary as DGS is fascinated by it - guess what he's getting for his birthday!) and we are all engaged in a project to build a railway and a small town park on a big piece of mdf. The reward for all this is that we have a lovely relationship with the children, who yesterday chose to come over to ours with their Dad rather than have a river trip and lunch out ...

We sadly don't see our two DGDs who live 70-odd miles away very often and are conscious that they are growing away from us.

I didn't realise that I wasn't alone, much as I love my dgd, I get really tired when she comes to be with me. I love having her but I thought my tiredness was due to health problems and working. I must admit though that if I didn't look after her my life would be just work and sleep with an interval of tv or reading as I don't go out apart from shopping. Im very lucky to be a gran, I get to talk to other grans in the park,soft play areas etc that I wouldn't do normally so being a gran gives me a social life of sorts.

Did anyone see the journalist woman on last night's The Papers, 10.30, BBC News Channel? She was commenting on a potential plan to charge normal Council Tax for grannie annexes.
She said that of course we must have three generational living otherwise who is going to look after the children?

I did have a few suggestions for her but I am too ladylike to quote them here!

I've just finished looking after my three youngest for four days while mummy was in hospital. I cannot even explain the tiredness. I can hardly think. I want to weep with exhaustion and guilt. They are so loving and perfect but hard work. 7, 5, and 3.I think such a small age difference means that they can somtimes be rivals rather than friends. Their constant vying for attention is wearing. I looked after their older cousins 10+ years ago and it never made me feel this exhausted. I'm only 63 so this week has been a real eye opener and forced me to accept that I'm not as capable as I once was

I feel for you Morethan we are on our third day of looking after the 5 and 3 year old GSs whilst our son and wife have gone on a much needed break to Amsterdam.

I am 69 and DH 70 and we are totally exhausted. I can understand the feeling of needing to weep.

The youngest has very bad eczema which we have been trying to manage until his a Mum returns on Monday. He has to have different creams and inhalers and just trying to get all these medicines sorted at bedtime has been a real trial.

The one light on the horizon is that the eldest GS, who has always been a challenge, has behaved well and when I told him I was tired and hungry and just wanted him to settle down he jumped into bed and went to sleep.

When our son was young we had no one to help us or give us a weekend off. How times have changed.

We've just got back from taking our 3 and 6 year old grandsons on holiday and my husband, who is ten years younger than me took himself off to bed at 8:30 this evening!!

We have our twin grandsons for 3 nights max. We did try 4 nights and we were creased. They are now 3 yrs old so no nappies etc but they are really fussy eaters and I do find that tough going. Being twins they are pretty good at sharing and keeping each other entertained. The worse thing we've had to deal with is diarrhoea and vomiting when they were about 18 months old. Boy were we glad to hand them back! They have an older brother who is 9 whom we have to stay on his own which is nice and easy. I agree with other posts though, the old energy levels are not what they were. ?

Very true fiorentina.Our twin grandchildren are now 8. When they were newborn we were of course 8 years younger and had no problem with tiredness .Nowadays it is OK when they are at school though getting them out of the house in the morning for a 5 mile drive to school is a challenge. However a full day with them is quite exhausting though we absolutely love it. We find the answer is to structure the day as we don't want any TV or tech time until almost bedtime. Last week we took them to the local garden centre and spent a morning there looking at and feeding the fish ,doing a" hunt the rabbits" game provided by the centre, and having a drink and biscuit in the restaurant. After lunch DH took them into the garden where they did a few jobs to earn some pocket money, I then did some baking with them and then DH played schools with the girl followed by chess with the boy. After dinner we played beetle and cards and then they got ready for bed before watching half an hour of TV.
They were still awake when we went to bed at 10 as we allowed them to sleep in the same room being the school holidays .We were done in !

My OH and I were late grandparents having our first at 63. We had her from 6months, she is now 7 and her brother also from 6 months, he's now 4. I've loved every minute and looking after them both has kept us young and we are so close. They are tiring at times but we wouldn't have had it any other way. I do wish though that I could have been maybe 10 years younger. I'd love to see them both married with children of their own.

I'm 67 and look after Gd of 11 months one day a week. Dh usually comes with me though I have done it on my own and TBh I don't find it as knackering as I thought I would. But she still sleeps in the day - not sure I could cope without that break. Oh, and thank heaven for CBeebies - esp. when she's tired or off colour.
Dh is now addicted to Balamory. I like Big Barn Farm best. :-)

Wow! I'm exhausted just reading how many of you cope with several DGC at a time and all the school and nursery trips. I will be 64 next week And have looked after my GD since she was born 12 years ago. I was working full time for the first 12 months but came home at lunch times to see if DD and GD were OK (they lived with me) and then did bath times, nappy changes etc after work. By the time she was one I had given up work as DD couldn't cope and I became a full time 24/7 carer for my GD and DD moved into her own place ! So I was left literally holding the baby! We went to different toddler groups most days so she met other children and I could chat to the adults, both parents and GPs, and we enjoyed all the usual activities at home and have enjoyed lots of holidays away together. OH has been supportive most of the time, but lives elsewhere, so mainly it is just the 2 of us. Now she is at Secondary School I miss seeing all the other mums and GPs at the school gate, but I'm enjoying all my longer days to do my own thing before she arrives home from school. The very worst part is being tied rigorously to school term times - no cheaper holidays allowed for us and I do envy friends who can go away regularly during term time. The other big pain is the amount of homework and the continuous pressures from school - thank goodness I'm not a school child anymore. Yes, it has been hard work and I have been exhausted and exasperated many times, but it is lovely when she gives me big hugs and says "I love you Grandma" and know I would never have coped if she had been adopted at 12 months old and had never been a part of my life after that especially as she was the only GC for her first 10 years. I just hope I can survive the Teenage years. Raging hormones make those distant toddler times seem like a doddle!

Hats off to you Smurf44 and wishing you continued energy. It sounds like your GD has a smashing granny. ?

Oh smurf4 what a heroine you are? What you have done for your GD will be "a jewel in your crown".
We had our first DGDs nearly 20 years ago and we were often mistaken for their parents. There was a gap in the family (like the queen says our DD and dear SIL) for 10 years so we now have a 6 & 7 year old as well-the energy just isn't what it was sadly. Mercifully they live locally so we have them after school and just for short times and sometimes sleepovers too. We love to see them and love to see them go too.
Our latest DGD aged 2 lives 3 hours away and is in nursery which breaks my heart but realistically I know we just couldn't do what we did before