Present or no present?

That's a difficult one as they've specified no gifts then it seems appropriate not to. I would also feel a bit awkward though, maybe some flowers?

Flowers or a plant for the house or garden would be my choice.

If someone specifies "no gifts", then I would not feel the slightest bit awkward in taking it literally, though I might turn up with a bottle or two of something, or another contribution that isn't, strictly-speaking, a gift.

Not difficult at all,they have made themselves perfectly clear! Even flowers might cause a problem, if everyone brought some it could create a vase crisis!

I think a card and your company will be exactly the right thing!

Could you pop to the local charity shop and put a small contribution in the collection jar. That way you could say that you saw they requested no gifts but you have made a charitable contribution in lieu

I would take some home made biscuits or cake on a plate for the table. (But not if they are having caterers)

Nobody minds getting a box of choccies do they?

I wouldn't if I was ninety.

We were invited to our neighbours 90th last autumn. Gave him a card on his birthday. Took nothing to the party. Took an apple pie round a couple of days later and shared a cuppa. (He didn't need the pie, he was still eating birthday cake so it went into the freezer. But I hoped going round may have taken the edge of the anticlimax after the family had all left.)

Personally, if I wrote 'no present' on the card- I'd mean it. I'v got to the stage, at only 65- when I just do not want anymore 'stuff' - especially stuff I do not choose.

The idea of taking a cake and share a cuppa to say thank you for the invite is so much nicer than buying unwanted more 'stuff'.

granjura Same here. At 65 I said, no more, nothing. Except for DGC, they love birthdays.

do as the message says, just a card and nothing more.

Same here. I think it'd be a bit insulting to someone's intelligence to take a present when they'd specifically asked you not to.

What about a treat later ? Something they would enjoy participating in rather than receiving? Sometimes time spent on someone is appreciated more than a gift. I could not think what to get my husband for his birthday last year, he kept saying "dont worry about me I have all I need", so I made a special card for him and inside I put an Invitation to an Andre Rieu concert for a couple of months hence. He loved it, said it was something to look forward to and we had a great night. But does not need to be an expensive "treat", revisiting somewhere that meant something to them??

If is says no presents then I would not give a present. Other guests can arrive with gifts in lovely bags and I feel mean.
Oxfam has gift cards where you donate in someone's name. For example you could "buy " a Goat which could help a family in Africa to become self sufficient .
I think this is the answer. Everyone is a winner.

I went to a celebration a few years ago, "no presents "specified so obeyed. Celebrant (?) later told me of all the generous gifts given ! I felt awful, but also cross.

I agree that something like a visit is the answer. As we get older we appreciate people's company - especially family! Since I turned 80 (horrors), my 4 children individually, take me on a treat or give me M&S tokens ( I love clothes). I have been to several places that I have never got to visit before - Buckingham Palace ( a special tour including champagne on the terrace!), a weekend in York, horse racing at Sandown Park, Wimbledon, a day on the Broads, Hadrian's Wall, Dover Castle. I've also had Spa days and this year membership of English Heritage and plans to go to the Cotswolds. I am very fortunate to be healthy and active - and hope I remain so!

Nobody takes any notice of the 'no presents' stipulation though you could make the offering flowers, wine or something for the garden.

Yes, Gaggi3, last year my sister was 60 and held a village party with strict instructions for no gifts. We're both trying to declutter our homes so I didn't give her anything ( just my presence and input to her party! ) . Later I felt awful as people HAD brought presents ! Lots of flowers that she didn't know what to do with though , so really a waste of money . But I think the fact that I actually turned up was my present ( social occasions make me want to hide ) . It was the best party I'd ever been to !
Life's a funny situation .

Lilyf- why oh why not take any notice of something specifically requested? Don't get it.

A couple of friends and I are giving a subscription to the Reverse Book Club (books are sent to readers in some of the world's poorest countries) in response to No presents please. .

Last year my OH and I went a 100th Birthday Party which also stated no presents. However knowing the Birthday Girl's saucy sense of humour we bought her a bright red lacy thong and told her she was never too old for a bit of fun! She loved it and wrapped it round her wrist for the entire evening and took great delight in showing it to everyone. She said it really made her day even though she had been widowed for 30yrs

The reason I said up thread that I always take flowers or a plant is that I know that most people will take something. I think that the party giver should say if people would like to donate to a specific charity that would be appreciated. When elderly friends of ours married a few years ago they asked for no presents but an invitation to dinner at the guests house would be very welcome. We had a lovely evening when they came to us and I think they "dined out " for months.

I am tired of stuff and would want my wishes respected, a card is ok but no presents means no presents.