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Do you take risks?

(22 Posts)
fiorentina51 Sat 04-Jun-16 08:22:01

Very wise That bags.
I think in my grandparent's case it was wartime and their world had gone completely mad. They were ordinary people living in extraordinary times and what once seemed important no longer did so.

thatbags Sat 04-Jun-16 08:06:18

Apparently Muhammed Ali, who has just died, said: "He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life".

Everyone's risks are different though. What feels like a risk to some folk will not feel so to another.

vampirequeen Sat 04-Jun-16 07:27:29

I have never taken any into my house but I did help out a homeless man who was living on the waste land where we and our neighbours park our cars. I spent a lot of time sitting and chatting to him and gave him food and hot drinks.

He was a lovely man but a druggie and had mental health issues so it wouldn't have been safe to have him in the house even if we'd both wanted it. Despite the drugs and illness he was so nice although he admitted that, at times, he could be 'difficult'. His story was sad. Ex-army. Thrown on the scrapheap when he became mentally ill. He was unable to cope as a civilian and his marriage broke up. Eventually he ended up homeless.

Another neighbour didn't see him as a human being and called the police. She told lies about him saying that his drug paraphernalia was strewn about and that he was checking out the houses to burgle them. His drug stuff was kept in a tin. He said that was keep it safe. He didn't want his syringe to break. Also he was embarrassed about his drug taking. He knew that he shouldn't take drugs but, as he said, they gave him a temporary respite from his life. I could understand that.

The police officer who moved him on was lovely. He was so sympathetic and offered him a ride to a local wooded area where he could camp for a while without anyone realising. DH reminded him about his training and how to make a simple shelter. That was the last we ever saw of him...waving to us as he went off in the police car.

The next time we saw the neighbour she was incredibly smug about what she'd done. I don't do anger very often because it scares me but she met the angry me that day.

Thingmajig Fri 03-Jun-16 22:30:37

I "met" my husband online ... we had a mutual email pen friend in the US and she "introduced" us. After about 6 months we arranged to meet up when he came to the UK for a football match, but had to change plans for whatever reason so I went over to Copenhagen for our first meet-up.
I suppose it was quite risky but I just knew he'd be ok. smile
Everything turned out fine!!!

grannyactivist Fri 03-Jun-16 18:09:01

fiorentina51 that's such a heartwarming story. smile
ExaltedWombat as far as I'm aware I have never had anything stolen, but I have received many gifts over the years from people that we've taken in. I like this quote:
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

AlgeswifeVal Fri 03-Jun-16 16:48:06

Where I live it would be risky to have a stranger in the house over night. Pity really, as I would love to help someone if needed. I thought that if I was ever left on my own, widowed, that I would like a lodger for company but even that is risky nowadays having someone there all the time. That's male or female. I would hate to be lonely though.
No, I would not take risks.

Tudorrose Fri 03-Jun-16 11:57:18

When I was about 13 we lived right out in the country and I caught abus to my girls grammar school every day, about 30-40 mins journey. At some point there was a bus strike for at least a week and no way of getting to school. My parents were the most caring, Molly-coddling people imaginable but they were quite happy for me to stand at the bus stop every morning waiting for anyone passing to give me a lift! Most days it was a teacher from the boys school. I cannot remember how I got home again! Can't imagine it happening today.

ExaltedWombat Fri 03-Jun-16 10:30:04

I've benefited from the kindness of strangers a few times in my life, and also returned the favour occasionally. But yes, it's a risk. If you take in 20 strangers, you have to reckon that one will rob you. Sad, but inevitable.

Indinana Fri 03-Jun-16 09:29:34

Huge respect to you grannya and granjura. I'm fairly sure I would be too nervous to take a complete stranger in like that. I wish I wasn't though.

Greyduster Fri 03-Jun-16 09:25:01

It wasn't always so, but I'm afraid I am very risk averse these days, and I admire people who can invite strangers into their home. Last year I opened the door to a man who turned up on our doorstep asking for DH by his Christian name. He turned out to be a chap who sat in the next seat to my husband and son at the football ground. How he had found out where we lived is a mystery to this day as DH, who would chat to him occasionally to be polite, never told him. One of our former neighbours had a seat at the back of DH and he can onlŷ assume that he overheard them talking about where we had moved to, did a bit of digging about and ended up at our address. He must have knocked on a lot of doors. DH, being the sort of chap he is, invited him in for a cup of tea. He lived in some sort of sheltered housing miles away from where we lived. I'm ashamed to say that I was not happy and couldn't bring myself to chat to him which is most unusual for me - I'm not like that - but it felt like an intrusion. I asked DH, after he had gone, to kindly ask him not to make a habit of calling in case he called and I was on my own. He came once more, when I did make an effort to talk to him, but never again. Then he stopped coming to the football and we heard that he had died, but no-one knew the circumstances. I am ashamed to this day about the way I treated him.

Cherrytree59 Thu 02-Jun-16 21:03:40

This thread reminds of a film I watched the other day.
'My house in Umbria' With Maggie Smith.

I'm not a big risk taker now.
Any risk that I have taken were mostly pre DC.

grannyactivist and GJ
I admire you both

Florentina that was a lovely family story. How wonderful your DGP were!

As a young man my father worked in South Africa.
Crossing many miles of Velt to reach turbines that he had to repair or service.
On one such journey he was bitten by a venomous snake.
The workers traveling in the back of his pickup truck caught the snake, so it could be identified for anti venom. somehow they managed to get him to a house (in the middle of no where) where the family there took my father in and got him medical attention.
He was unconscious at first and then suffered from delusions and fever
They nursed him night and day until he was well again.
My father believed that the prompt action of the workers and the kindness of that family saved his life. The family could easily have just sent him to a hospital as he was a complete stranger.
Firm friends afterwards!

Tegan Thu 02-Jun-16 20:57:54

As someone that hitched lifts for many years, when I had a car of my own I used to give lifts to people. I stopped doing it when my ex husband, who never worried about anything told me it was dangerous, and very few people seem to hitch nowadays. But I met so many lovely people over the years by doing so.

varian Thu 02-Jun-16 20:46:25

I've never invited a total stranger to stay but once our neighbours told us they were expecting a man they'd never met to come from London and they were going out. So I went round next door later. found this chap on the doorstep as they hadn't got back and invited him in for a meal. It was a Sunday and we were having a roast dinner with our three generation family.

We live in the country and perhaps have a different attitude but the guy said later "This would never happen in London". Is that right? I don't know.

Jalima Thu 02-Jun-16 20:19:48

But to be fair, you had DH with you granjura
Reading her post again, I think it was the first time she met him Ana and he rescued her.

We've had people staying we hardly knew, but it was organised and DH was here too.

I don't think I would have been as kind-hearted as you grannya, I would have been too nervous.

fiorentina51 Thu 02-Jun-16 20:11:41

In 1944 my grandparents took a bloodied, dishevelled stranger into their home and looked after him until the liberation of Italy. He joined the 21 year old Jewish boy who was hiding from the nazis. Towards the end of the war as the fighting intensified, they were joined by 40 refugees from the bombing of Florence. All crammed into a Tuscan farmhouse. Food, beds and shelter were all shared. The stranger was my father and he eventually married their daughter.
My grandparents were peasant farmers, very loving and caring people. I'm very proud of them and wish I could say I would do the same. Maybe in the same circumstances I might but to be honest, I'm not sure.

cornergran Thu 02-Jun-16 20:05:58

Think I would have been too anxious about the 'what ifs'. Wish I was more of a risk taker and so pleased there are people in the world like ga

harrigran Thu 02-Jun-16 18:08:43

Well done ga, but it would not have been me, not where I live.

grannyactivist Thu 02-Jun-16 17:54:29

The chap who came home with me told me he once knocked on someone's door at 8pm to ask for a bed for the night. It was in Belgium and a woman aged 80+ opened the door and invited him in. She lived alone and he said she didn't ask him any questions, just made him very welcome. He's travelled throughout Europe and reckoned Italy and Spain are very welcoming countries.

TriciaF Thu 02-Jun-16 15:53:41

When I was young, ie before I was married, I loved to take risks, dangerous adventures etc.
I once had a bad experience with a stranger I met on the Tube, but the least said about that the better. Otherwise I was OK.
I changed when I had children.

Ana Thu 02-Jun-16 15:34:38

But to be fair, you had DH with you granjura and I know you have had a great deal of experience of accommodating waifs and strays, grannyactivist, and are undoubtedly a good judge of character.

I wouldn't be comfortable sharing my home with a complete stranger even for just one night, as I live alone.

Well done to both of you anyway! smile

granjura Thu 02-Jun-16 15:16:14

I always have- and I never had a bad experience.

I met OH on a train late at night- lost in London as a young foreigner- he took me home by taxi. We've been married for 45 years.

Last Summer I invited 3 musicians from London and Barcelona here to do a concert and to stay for a while - everybody thought I was mad- and yet it was a fabulous experience and people came from all over the country- many slept here and some camped. Wonderful.

grannyactivist Thu 02-Jun-16 15:10:14

Last week I met this bloke on the High Street at about 5pm. I read his sign asking if someone would give him a place to sleep that night and I happened to have an empty bedroom, so I checked his passport and took him home with me. I gave him dinner, a bed for the night and some breakfast and then he was on his way. (It turned out he was actually writing a book about the kindness of strangers.) Over the following few days I told my husband, children and parents in law about the bloke and none of them batted an eyelid; they were simply interested in his story. Then yesterday I mentioned it to a colleague of mine and he immediately described me to someone else as a real risk taker. I was actually surprised as I have never thought of myself that way at all, but all of the people present said they would not have taken the risk.

In fact I have only ever had three or four difficult experiences in over forty years of inviting strangers into my home - and only one where I was conscious of feeling endangered.

What risks have you taken - and how did it turn out?