Do you think I should?

Just read all this and it sounds as if the OP maybe is a little pushy, as that could be why the daughter just booked the hol without mentioning it to her.

I hope the OP is quietly taking the advice given on here and not giving her DD any holiday surprises!

Haha Lullydully I think you are absolutely right I too think she she would have gone anyway

We haven't heard from us because none of us agreed with her and she's going anyway. Good luck.

The OP hasn't posted since she started this thread which was almost a month ago. I think we're talking to ourselves.

And, anyway, I'd like to go away with dh and not have to cope with the rest of them. What does your Dh think of the plan?

I've just had a conversation about this topic with DD1 who has just discovered that her Mil has booked to go just a few miles away from where she and her family are going. dd is hopping mad as it is very special to her that her family have a time that is just for them. It took her dh ages to pluck up the courage to tell her and she is livid. I think I persuaded her that divorce is not such a good idea.

Maybe her dh would rather they were on their own. It's very different to have granny tagging along on her own, with the responsibility that entails, to having granny along with other people to keep granny amused.

Why not book somewhere more exotic? I definitely would not go as sometimes people just want to operate to their own timetable. If they miss your help they will invite you another time. If you show you are independent and go somewhere different it will focus them in. If you see them normally then just go with it. If they say anything just say a break apart will do you all good and you and your OH are pleased to have the freedom to go to new places. Indeed, if they use your help during the holidays I would extend my holiday so I was away for a few days when they get back. Come back tanned, rested and with exciting new gifts for the children.

Just ask them if they wanted time on their own. Then if so, do your own thing and enjoy your partner. Next time might be back to full family holiday but for a change it would be nice to have some time off for you too and dedicate yourselves to each other instead of being nana. Or if you miss it too much, ask if your GC can go away with you another time for a short break or whatever and give their parents a break in their own home. It could work out lovely all the way round.

OIh no. Don't surprise them. But they are going to the same place the OP goes to every year as part of the family. Would have been different if they had chosen somewhere else of their own. Seems mean to have the usual family holiday but leave them out.

Seeing as you were not invited, I would stay well away and not even visit for a day. Give them some breathing space, they probably want some time on their own, if you ask to pay a visit they are going to feel obligated. Sure you wouldn't want that.

Don't surprise them though. I hate surprises (control freak alert).

Just ask them if it's OK to pop over to see them for a day or two whilst you're there. And stop over-thinking it.

Ooh please don't do it. I am sure they love you dearly but absence makes the heart grow fonder!

I don't know why your DD didn't invite you but I can think of loads of reasons, is it a long journey she might think you wouldn't want to do on your own? Does she think you might miss the adult company of your sister? It sounds as if your DH doesn't usually accompany you, could you not ring her and announce he has a few days holiday then wait to see what she says? If she wants to see you she will invite you then. If she doesn't you may have to take the hint.

Oh no no no please don't consider going, if they had wanted you this time they would have asked, they can't actually have forgotten can they, as it's been such a routine its the clearest message ever They are obviously wanting a holiday alone and perhaps glad of the break let them be if they miss your baby sitting they ll soon go back to the routine. My friend and husband went for years with a close friend and husband one year they changed things and went alone and enjoyed themselves, the following year they booked again (made the mistake of talking about it) only to find the second friends at the airport as they left and they had booked the same week same place and same hotel Friend and husband were mortified and the friendship has never fully recovered there's a wedge there now .....not everyone likes surprises

Aw. I read your posting, then all the threads. Everyone's so absolutely right. But I had this vision of you sitting there all crestfallen. I would definately not surprise them. Very bad idea. If you really can't contemplate going somewhere completely different (and they may well respect you more for it. You've said you're close. So no harm done. And you can discuss your different holidays afterwards at a lovely family lunch or something); then be up front. Say you've booked a holiday not too far away, as you've enjoyed the trips there so much previously, so would they like to meet up for a day. They may well have thought you'd feel like a spare part without your sister along, but if they've turned their backs on a ready made babysitter! then I feel they just want a holiday by themselves. It's not an insult or anything. Just needing a bit of space maybe. To reiterate, think the surprise is a very bad idea.

No I wouldn't do that either. Perhaps you could take the children to the seaside for a day out / short break yourselves without DD and enjoy a longer holiday later on just as a couple? This is what we do, mainly because our idea of a holiday and those of DS & wife don't really gel - we tried, but much as we love them, the holiday was an expensive disaster! We've just taken our lovely GD away for the weekend and we all loved it.

Oops. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet. They do seem to want time on their own and you must respect this. Perhaps a tactful word from them would have eased your mind.

Well, since she did not invite you, I don't think you should be going. May be they want some personal time alone..

It's normal for a family to want some time alone. I think if it were me I would tell them I also planned a holiday If they want you within meet up distance it's their opportunity to say so, but I wouldn't push it. Maybe consider asking about future plans after this holiday? It could be done easily and without pressure while hearing about their holiday, something like "oh that sounds nice, is that the sort of holiday you plan for the future?" It's also understandable that you enjoy seeing your grandchildren enjoying the seaside. Could you perhaps suggest a short family break? A a weekend perhaps so you can have the best if both worlds, time as separate family units and time together? Hope it works out.

I agree with others, don't go.However, if you have been doing this for years ( holidaying together) I would ask your DD if they really prefer a holiday alone from now on?See what she says.In that case, go and enjoy a holiday with your DH ( nowhere near them) and enjoy not having to baby sit.

I wouldn't do it!

I really do agree with the others. It's very possible that they are taking the opportunity to have a holiday by themselves as a family. One of my DILs is very close to her parents and my DS is quite happy to spend time with them, but last Christmas he was rather put out to find that they were going to stay with them in their one-bedroom flat. He told me privately that he would have liked them to have been alone for their first Christmas together in their new home - but would never have said that for fear of hurting feelings. Give them a chance this year to have their holiday as a family - they may find they miss you and go back to the old ways next year.

Why don't you go and have a great holiday somewhere warm, taking advantage of cheaper air fares when the schools have gone back? Then you can regale your family with photographs and accounts of what a good time you had. For goodness' sake don't go and surprise them.

No, don't do the surprise thing! As someone has said, maybe they just want a holiday just for their family. Don't be offended but take the opportunity to book somewhere warm and sunny; it's not always like that here in Devon!