Do you think I should?

oldgoose

I think it's a bit off that they didn't invite you, but I would not do this.

I'd be inclined to leave well enough alone!!

Maybe you should take the hint?

Oh dear! I agree with Jane10. If you're close to your daughter, surely she would have said something if she wanted you to join them?

That said, members of our family would often turn up for a few days when my family was on holiday. But I do think your situation is different.

I do not thunk this is a good idea at all - it would seem that your DD and her family want a quiet holiday to themselves - that is fine - do not take offence.

We are joining our DD and her family for a holiday this year for various reasons to do with my OH's health, but we have not done so before; and when she asked, I made it perfectly clear that this was not setting a precedent - that we would not take the 'ump if we were not asked another time.

Be happy that you have had those chances to watch the GC enjoying themselves at the seaside; and let them go on their own with your blessing.

Don't do it. There will hopefully be other times when you can go on holiday with them but it sounds like they are making the point that you can't expect it every time.

You need to clear it up and arrange a mutually convenient day to meet not "surprise" them. Maybe rent a bit further away and say you "don't want to encroach on their holiday space but perhaps you could meet up for a day and of course if they would like to go out ONE evening, you'd be happy to babysit?"

Crikey no. It might not be the kind of surprise you anticipate. I have done this before but have suggested it to DD early on as a way of letting them have an evening out. They are always happy to have me around and I don't get in their way. DH was more than happy to stay at home, but these days I wouldn't leave him because of rapid onset bouts of illness as talked about elsewhere. Can't do spontaneity now but in OP case I wouldn't turn up as a surprise.

Definitely not. Not everybody likes surprises and not one like that. I also would not rent close by, I personally would stay well clear.

I agree with the others stay away.

Definitely. It would make you look like a mother who can't let go.

have to agree stay away!

Don't go anywhere near them!

No, don't do the surprise thing! As someone has said, maybe they just want a holiday just for their family. Don't be offended but take the opportunity to book somewhere warm and sunny; it's not always like that here in Devon!

Why don't you go and have a great holiday somewhere warm, taking advantage of cheaper air fares when the schools have gone back? Then you can regale your family with photographs and accounts of what a good time you had. For goodness' sake don't go and surprise them.

I really do agree with the others. It's very possible that they are taking the opportunity to have a holiday by themselves as a family. One of my DILs is very close to her parents and my DS is quite happy to spend time with them, but last Christmas he was rather put out to find that they were going to stay with them in their one-bedroom flat. He told me privately that he would have liked them to have been alone for their first Christmas together in their new home - but would never have said that for fear of hurting feelings. Give them a chance this year to have their holiday as a family - they may find they miss you and go back to the old ways next year.

I wouldn't do it!

I agree with others, don't go.However, if you have been doing this for years ( holidaying together) I would ask your DD if they really prefer a holiday alone from now on?See what she says.In that case, go and enjoy a holiday with your DH ( nowhere near them) and enjoy not having to baby sit.

It's normal for a family to want some time alone. I think if it were me I would tell them I also planned a holiday If they want you within meet up distance it's their opportunity to say so, but I wouldn't push it. Maybe consider asking about future plans after this holiday? It could be done easily and without pressure while hearing about their holiday, something like "oh that sounds nice, is that the sort of holiday you plan for the future?" It's also understandable that you enjoy seeing your grandchildren enjoying the seaside. Could you perhaps suggest a short family break? A a weekend perhaps so you can have the best if both worlds, time as separate family units and time together? Hope it works out.

Well, since she did not invite you, I don't think you should be going. May be they want some personal time alone..

Oops. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet. They do seem to want time on their own and you must respect this. Perhaps a tactful word from them would have eased your mind.

No I wouldn't do that either. Perhaps you could take the children to the seaside for a day out / short break yourselves without DD and enjoy a longer holiday later on just as a couple? This is what we do, mainly because our idea of a holiday and those of DS & wife don't really gel - we tried, but much as we love them, the holiday was an expensive disaster! We've just taken our lovely GD away for the weekend and we all loved it.

Aw. I read your posting, then all the threads. Everyone's so absolutely right. But I had this vision of you sitting there all crestfallen. I would definately not surprise them. Very bad idea. If you really can't contemplate going somewhere completely different (and they may well respect you more for it. You've said you're close. So no harm done. And you can discuss your different holidays afterwards at a lovely family lunch or something); then be up front. Say you've booked a holiday not too far away, as you've enjoyed the trips there so much previously, so would they like to meet up for a day. They may well have thought you'd feel like a spare part without your sister along, but if they've turned their backs on a ready made babysitter! then I feel they just want a holiday by themselves. It's not an insult or anything. Just needing a bit of space maybe. To reiterate, think the surprise is a very bad idea.

Oh no no no please don't consider going, if they had wanted you this time they would have asked, they can't actually have forgotten can they, as it's been such a routine its the clearest message ever They are obviously wanting a holiday alone and perhaps glad of the break let them be if they miss your baby sitting they ll soon go back to the routine. My friend and husband went for years with a close friend and husband one year they changed things and went alone and enjoyed themselves, the following year they booked again (made the mistake of talking about it) only to find the second friends at the airport as they left and they had booked the same week same place and same hotel Friend and husband were mortified and the friendship has never fully recovered there's a wedge there now .....not everyone likes surprises