New neighbours

I move quite a lot, and I usually make a cake - just a sponge sandwich or something simple, and take it next door. I say that I have baked too much and would they do me the kindness of accepting it, then I leave, pleading urgent work.
Most people are delighted - some not so, but at least I've broken the ice and the next move is up to them!

I have fairly new neighbours but they only sleep here.Sometimes they come to let their children play after school. Initially I said good morning and smiled but, as they are hardly ever here, only when workmen come to disturb me, I avoid them. Luckily I have rear entrance I can go out through. I don't think it is a good idea to get too friendly. My mother did this many years ago helping a young couple with children next door. Eventually they turned difficult as though they resented the help.

I don't introduce myself to new neighbours but if we meet by chance I usually have a chat but I really wouldn't want to issue 'come for coffee' invitations I like all my neighbours but I don't want to be best buddies or have them popping in and out if I'm honest. I'm here for an emergency or information of course but inviting complete strangers in who may then involve me in goodness knows what (cos I have a hard time saying no ) is a no no for me.

Puts me in mind of my last move, the next door neighbour called on day 2 and just said "I'm your neighbour, I keep myself to myself and will expect you to do the same." Never discovered her name, never spoke to her again in the 20 years we lived there! The other side we got quite close to, as we had children of similar ages, when they moved the new people that side were very insular too, so we had no idea who our neighbours were from that point.

When I move I usually wait to bump into neighbours in a new seting, find instigating new conversations difficult and often have been just too busy to think about it. When new neighbours move in I put a card through the letterbox to welcome them and leave our phone number and anything else I think might be useful with an invite to a coffee, suggesting they let us know when they have the space so we can fix a date, discovered how embarrassing it is all round if new neighbours turn up for coffee unanounced when we are either having a lie in or covered in paint! Most do, some don't but will usually chat if we see them. If it looks helpful I will take a tray of tea/coffee on moving in day, you can usually tell by the harrassed faces if they have packed the kettle and can't find it!

Two new sets of neighbours moved into recently converted flats opposite us a couple of months ago. I popped a card through each door, welcoming them to the area, wishing them well and letting them know who we were and that we'd be happy to help should it ever be necessary. Result - absolute silence. No acknowledgement at all. I've done this will all other new neighbours who have responded and we're all friends (albeit not close ones) in our road. But not with these new people ... Very sad.

BlueBelle I live in London but I took a bottle of wine when my neighbours a couple of doors away moved in. Now we are firm friends but do not "live" in each others property. The fellow, M rang me the other day to find out if I was okay because he had not seen me and it had been so hot and humid.

I wish I had the courage to knock on someone's door and say 'hello', but I usually wait until an opportunity presents itself. When we moved in, our immediate neighbour didn't come round, but introduced herself as soon as she saw us outside and we had a chat. That's how it has been with most of our neighbours, and a lovely lot they are too! The only ones to actually knock on our door were the young people across the road who asked us if we would feed their fish while they were away! We didn't know them from Adam, but it has now become a regular thing. She turns up with a bag of fish food and we say yes. When we moved into our army quarter in Holland there was a knock on the door almost before we had the chance to take off our coats and there stood a couple with a cake and a bottle! They were so very well spoken and charming I thought it must have been the Commanding Officer and his wife, but no, just our next door but one neighbour's. Thirty six years later we are still close friends!

I first spoke to our new neighbour over garden fence - but I'd just had a coffee and think I scared her off with my non stop chatter!!

Like some others have said I ve never gone round to neighbours or had them come to me I m always chatty if we meet and would be welcoming with info. about the area and everything but would never dream of knocking on someone's door
I think the taking cake and wine round must be a village / country thing I ve always lived in towns and folks just come and go I know a few by name to stand and have a chat with but never been in any of their houses

Don't bother with neighbors, don't do social necessities, not only that but I'm just not interested, However, I do have a smile on my face I will always greet people with a good morning. I also do a school run, started off with just my DG, now I take him and 2 friends so is their purpose to my life after all.

Emma Woodhouse takes Harriet Smith to visit neighbours for a quarter of an hour in the 'morning', i'e', before two o'clock, if that's any help.

My DH looks out of the window before he goes out and if any of the neighbours are outside he waits indoors until they have gone!

We have lived in same house30 yrs and I still only know a few of their names most keep to themselves but are there if needed which we are .

That didn't come out right... do the cake thing, but YOU do it. Need more coffee!

If I lived in a non-city setting, I'd do at Shysal and call round with a cake or something. Just to drop off and introduce yourself and mention the tank. No strings attached.

They may be as anxious about you. Septic tanks can end up needing a lot of attention if owners don't tend to them properly, so maybe they need to know that.

Enjoy your new home... you are truly lucky!

I introduce myself to new neighbours now.I drop off a bottle of wine and a note saying where to get the parish news etc and the names of the other neighbours.
I do this because a neighbour 3 doors downI invited round for a drink and food for the neighbours to get together and he said 'it's only taken 7 years to tak to some of these neighbours' which made me feel bad.
I'm very quiet and tend to be one of those keep myself to myself types,but down our road were all a bit like that!

When my new neighbours moved in I put a card through their letter box and wrote my name of course and said 'welcome to N**** Road. They're only in their 20's and we are now good friends.

The people next door but 3 still don't acknowledge us, name they are waiting for us to pop round! We only been here 23 years.

I would just wait and see what happens 'in passing'. I really think it's the old neighbours job to introduce themselves but, if you feel happy doing it, why not!

I always introduce myself to new neighbours and then leave it to them. I have never done it the other way round. Mind you I have moved very few times in my life, a real "stick in the mud" .

Like Anya I would never go round to introduce myself to new neighbours, I would hate it if someone called on me to introduce themselves. I dont do social niceities!

luckygirl, I am so pleased you are settling in well and meeting people.

I always feel that it is the place of the existing neighbours to do the welcoming. I have popped to the door with a card and home-made cakes or biscuits. I also provide a list of names of close neighbours, details of waste collections etc. If they are out I just leave the gift on the doorstep and post the rest through the letter box. The last thing I want is for them to think of me as a nosey parker, but like them to know they can ask things like where the water meter is, which is quite a way along the road!
My latest newcomer next door responded with a house key for emergencies, I thought that was rather too trusting! Mind you, she is a bit scatty so has locked herself out several times, and left a gas burner alight when on holiday. Fortunately I was feeding her cats and noticed 24 hours after she left.

Oh dear, I've never gone round and introduced myself to new neighbours, but DH will talk to anyone and used to come back and say 'so and so over the road is called Stan' so he was the one who did all the first strikes as it were.

But I'm good at talking if I bump into people naturally, when I'm weeding or watering the front garden, washing the car, bringing the bins in, walking the dogs.

Whatever you feel most comfortable with Lucky

Definitely go round and I trouve yourself. No need for small talk, just the courtesy of your names and you've just moved in and good to meet you.
If ever they need anything, say don't hesitate to ask.

I'd pop round and just say hello .

Short and sweet . Accept if they offer a coffee but if it's a doorstep conversation that's fine too .

It's just a place to start.