Honesty thread about grandchildren

Must admit my kids were pretty good. My grandaughter is like the British weather she changes moods frequently tho I love her to bits and she does live with us but it's a pain at times. I have learnt to gauge the moods and have been told when they get to 16 they get better, well she is a few months off that so hoping that is so. Unless some on gransnet tells me otherwise

Hm - remember Willian Golding' "Lord of the Flies" Perhaps as HannahLoisLuke says - put 'em away - on a desert island they just might have to sort themselves out!!

They should all be deep frozen until they reach the age of about 19 when they suddenly become human!!!

I realise this is slightly off thread, Apols to OP

Yes we, too, had the sulky French girls, twice over, for each of our daughters. It was exhausting. On the other hand, when our girls went to Paris and later to the south of France, their exchange girls were completely different and both my daughters had a great time. I think the French girls were much less adaptable and didn't much like being away from home, didn't like the food, were unwilling to try/see new experiences. We took the girl from Paris to see Cats in Drury Lane snd she was shocked that we had to walk from Charing Cross to the theatre, all of 15 minutes when, as she pointed out, there was a row of taxis waiting at the station. She did survive, but I'd say both the French girls were spoilt and not very adaptable.

Well, I guess our French exchange girl, back in the day, must have been an exception to the rule then. Sulky and miserable, despite our very best efforts. She didn't manage more than one word answers in French or in English during her one week stay, and none of them were please or thank you. I was charitable, and put it down to homesickness, but poor DD1 had to endure another week of it on the visit to France. Unbelievably, we had feedback that she'd had a lovely time, and her sister would like to come to us the following year. To DD2's great relief, the visit was cancelled!

My partner has sons who are Kevin's...and they are 22....things get so bad we go away for Christmas ...on our own !!!

I too agree with Dharma. we have lived in France for 11 years now and it is noticeable that how much better behaved and respectful French children, and especially the teenagers, are compared to the British in general. Having said that, after years of running a gite we have had mostly absolutely delightful British children here, and in the minority some utterly deplorable British teenagers, the parents of which are the ones that let them get away with this bad behaviour.

I have the world's best three grandchildren - not that I am prejudiced. The eldest is an absolute nightmare to feed, and my 7 yr old grandson hogs the loo for hours with his trousers around his ankles playing on his tablette. Just like a little old man with his newspaper in the days of yore. Must be in the male genes. So far youngest very easy apart from the odd paddy - allowed.

Yes, CHRISTINEFRANCE, I agree that there are children who do have periods of challenging behaviour due to family / medical circumstances and require extra empathy and loving guidance during such times. My post was a generalisation about modern trends of what used to be termed unacceptable behaviour becoming the norm. Yes, in France not all children are perfect but at school good manners and social etiquette is stressed and those of our British friends whose children are in or have experienced the French schools and lifestyle are notably more polite and delightful in social situations than those of visiting holidaymakers.

Felice well done for marching him out screaming. I find there is no point in arguing with a small child in that state.
I saw a guy in our Asda walking around with a screaming toddler in a trolley and the dad was ignoring the screams completely. No shouting at him or such. Just ignoring his behaviour. That takes some courage.

Dharmacat, sometimes bad behaviour has underlying reasons, not excusing lax parenting but not everyone can cope as well as your family obviously did. My grandson now in his twenties went through a a very difficult patch, fortunately all turned out well in the end. I live in rural France too and agree with your comments about the level of behaviour expected by French parents.

DGS 4 1/2, is normally very good with me, excellent in fact takes note of my disabilities when we are out.
We have had some great days out since the start of the holidays. 8 weeks here.
Then on Friday we were going to M&S then to a friends cafe fooor the afternoon, just to get out really.
As he had been so good I said we could go in past the toy shop and he could get a little present.
Fine chose a big bag of Dinosaurs, paid and then he kicked of, lying on the floor of the shop screaming, would not come with me or even be talked to.
I took him by the arm and looking straight ahead marched him out of the shopping galery, through a large department store across a busy road and to my friends. Screaming all the way, I was horrified and mortified.
After a cold drink[wine for me] we both calmed down, then on the way home off he went again, the nice young man from the shop on the corner had to carry him up the hill for me to get home.
So yesterday SIL was taking part in a national crossbow shooting competition in the main square Grand Place, and we all went, good as gold, went for a nice walk with me and then with his Uncle, came back with some Belgian chocs as a sorry.
No idea what went off on Friday but I really hope is doesn't happen again.

We have certainly had the Kevin syndrome through this family over the years and they have all come out the other end at one stage or another,they are polite & hard working individuals who still at times have their strops,only one DGS has at the moment answers in one syllable or a grunt the others seem to have gone past that stage thank goodness but we do understand him whatever he grunts at us.

Rather appalled by some posts: times have certainly changed. My
grandson is now 28 but , although he was not perfect as a child, some of the behaviours posted (and bragged about) would never have been tolerated by his parents or grandparents. Observing some modern parents it seems they adopt the line of least resistance and give way/ignore / laugh at unacceptable behaviour both at home and in public. When did "no" or "stop that now" go out of fashion?
My step-grandchildren , 9 and 16 years , do "try it on" now and again but know exactly where the boundaries lie. Living in France , as do we, they have good role models with French children and families who do expect reasonable behaviour and good manners.
Sadly if we observe badly behaved children in restaurants or supermarkets they are inevitably British.
Having been a teacher/ Head for many years I do have some ,experience of handling "stroppy" children!

Stansgran" love it! It's like a punchline and you have to think up the joke! Made extra intriguing by the culture/language difference. I bet you could write a book on Anglo/French amusing differences.....

Not a GC but my niece (13) was so mature when she visited recently, eating what I had made for the adults, and being patient with the oldies, and sitting with us most of the time, without moaning. Step GS (13), grunts occasionally, disappears with headphones on, moans if extricated from them. and eats nothing. Is it a girl-boy thing I wonder?

But Gran, you're here to look after me and Leila.

His 5, and I laughed and cried at the same time.

I had sons who had their 'Kevin' times and the spitting on each other was pretty bad. Much, much worse are the DGDs who SCREAM!! (Ages 7 and 4 and the other two 9 and 6.) They play together nicely for a while and then it happens, the ear splitting, brain dissolving scream (that is close, but not close enough to being heard only by dogs!) "I had it first!" "She snatched it off me!" "It's my toy not hers!" Five minutes later I am struggling with the whistling in my ears and the stress induced headache and they are playing happily again!

I remember now - but it will have to be Vicky because we have a lovely Lauren who has never been gobby or even Kevin-like!!

Maggiemaybe that is so funny!

Jalima - Catherine Tate did a female counterpart to Kevin called Lauren, like Kevin but more gobby. Then of course there's always the sublime Vicky "yeah but no" Pollard. Take your pick!

I do remember getting a round Robin letter at Christmas where the opening line was "once again our children make us proud to be their parents"
I bought a paperback book a few years ago with those awful Round Robin letters in them, I may have thrown it into the sick bucket, can't find it now.

Although I confess to having sent them out - so lazy easy, but mine are very realistic (honest)

What is the name for a female Kevin?

One of my sons was a Kevin for such a looooong time, there's no way I'm going to be doting granny if my grandchildren boy aged 2 and girl aged 6 now go into the mono syllabic and grunting stage around me. I'll just be non involved grandma who proffers cheek for a kiss, and bestows money at birthday and Cristmas. Just like my grandmas, they never saw me at my worst. I'm not going through any of that again, albeit one step back. I haven't looked at the bragging thread but can imagine. I do remember getting a round Robin letter at Christmas where the opening line was "once again our children makes us proud to be their parents" Is there a pass the sick bucket emoticon? My son was at his ghastly worse at the time of this letter. Although I did show it to friends who were staying just after Christmas who also had stroppy teens so it caused a fair amount of shall we say piss taking friend read the opening line and commented "I hate them already"

I hope it is normal, Nina as we have the same. Ours are nearly 7 and 4 and he takes her toys away and interferes when she is playing nicely. He can be lovely at other times and she is a saint to put up with it. (Sorry, that could be construed as bragging.)