The Gransnet Olympics !

Synchronised snoring.

Tears are running down my cheeks at these wonderful suggestions.

I have started to practise the sherry glugging race, I'm already swaying slightly

He doesn't know it yet, but I've entered my DH in the Fidgeting event. He thinks he's just here in Rio to support me!

NanKate be careful you don't fall and get injured before the Games start!

H and I in fits of laughter

I'm gold medal standard in the morning bathroom dash.

Getting the handsomest male around to help you out of your chair!

The indecisive grans team - well I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure I'll also help out in the wine quaffing championships.

Team captain for the 'what is the effing word I'm looking for' endurance...what is the effing word I'm looking for? Begins with 'v', or is it 'e'? Rhymes with camping, or maybe tent? Whatever, I'll get the gold wotsit for it!

If I do fall Wilma I am in ALL the wheelchair events.

I do not have anyone to do the Fosbry Flop, anyone out there willing to represent us ?

In case the food isn't up to much I have brought my own tea bags and Rich Tea biscuits. Have you brought a few extras ?

You will have to out some pesetas, or whatever their money is, in the swear box Dramatic.

The marathon shufflers better start now and they may have a reasonable chance of finishing by the end of the Games.

Do we have any Bouncy Castle jumpers available ?

If Mo Farah makes his M sign when he wins, what sign shall we give ?

Put not out !

I do not think I can enter because putting hand on heart, I cannot say that I am drug free, 5 different drugs am and 2 later pm. That knocks me out of the book reading contest. Better to own up I think, no desire to put shame on my country.

I can do the Fosbury Flop, NanKate

I get plenty of practice everytime I try to get in DD's ridiculously high 4x4.

I can do the yelping ... don't touch my sore leg .... event been practising

Not sure will pass the drugs test
Will steroid injection show up?

Can a small toddler, a ginger pussy and gran racing around garden be entered as an event?

I think my emergency stash of steroids which I take on long haul trips, just in case they are needed, will disqualify me.
I'm pretty good at pushing roundabouts and swings in the local playground for DGD's.

I'll volunteer for the swimming team. I can bring my flowery bathing cap, armbands and cork float, can't I? And I'll need my goggles to stop my glasses steaming up. The medley might suit me best, as my swimming stroke doesn't really fit into a particular category.

I too am swimming in steroids, but as I do the drug testing we should all be ok.

Anyone up for plate spinning ?

Hob knob dunking ?

Backwards sitting Donkey Derby ?

I am a bit worried about Luckygirl and her nude leapfrog event, it could enliven the local men

I'll sort all your visas out as well. It's only taken me 4 hours today trying to upload an acceptably glum photo to the Passport Office (20 rejected and counting). At that rate we'll be ready to go by the 2024 games.

I also want to enter the 'I'm confused about what the hell is going on in Eastenders event' because I'm really good at it especially if I drop off while it's on!

Charleygirl in our events we don't have to be drug free. In fact, drug free competitors are looked upon with suspicion in case they might be ringers!

I am taking an ice pack in case I get whacked in the eye by a leapfrogger leaping over me!

I will volunteer to be the GN Team GB cocktail taster. I quite fancy trying the Fosbury Flop because I hear it comes with two little umbrellas!

The sprint to bring the washing in when sun turns to rain in seconds Followed by Marathon ironing!