The Gransnet Olympics !

This opening ceremony - what are we opening? Wine, chocolate biscuits, fruit gums, refreshers?

I suggest the Riosecco that M&S are selling.
A bottle and a straw for me please.

Should we have a team outfit for the Opening Ceremony tonight?

What about a crimplene beige dress or trousers, a fleece with the Union Jack on the back, a woolly scarf to avoid us getting chesty coughs and colds, compression socks and laces ups.

I think we are shaping up to be a formidable country, Rio better brace themselves.

Finally is there anyone with a plumbing degree, as the loo in our Rio apartment is making some very odd noises and looks ready to erupt

Can I enter for the 'jumping on a suitcase to get it to shut' event? You are only allowed a three-step run up, and if you can't close both catches, you're disqualified! I've been practicing most of yesterday!!

I think I will have to compete in the hurdles.
My life seems to consist of lots of hurdles lately, so I have had some too much practice.
In view of the overpractising, I unfortunately cannot guarantee I will any GN Olympic medals.
If anyone feels better qualified to compete in this event, I will happily step aside.

Major last minute problem with the Syncro snoring team, someone farted before the finish line during last nights training. Can't let this happen during the event, the whole team could be disqualified.

Compression socks can't be uniform, the race to get them on is one of the events!

GandTea would that constitute an unfair advantage due to unexpected forward momentum? DH always maintains it helps him get up hills!!

So "wind" surfing is in then? Put my DH in the team GandTea, Greyduster ?

G&T do you think the reserve should step in? We don't want to be sent home in disgrace. It could have a profound impact on the environment and global warming. Or even worse - we could be blamed for Brexit!

The gran whose clothes get covered in the most baby "snail trails" while hugging their baby or toddler grandkids for an hour.

WMKF, no, we need all the team members we can get, just needs more self control, some buttock clenching exercises are call for. I had though we could resort to corks, but should they fail, the report could cause a false start in another event.

Can I be in the team for snorting whilst trying not to laugh?

I will win the 'No, I'm not looking for it, I have no idea where you put it' patience race. I won't give in and look for it, no I won't, No, No, No........................Oh alright then.

Can I enter the 'attempting to strap GC into car seat/buggy' event? On second thoughts, only if it's 'slowest wins'!

Kittty, depends what you are "snorting"

G&T sounds like you've got it under control.

Can I please be in the team as to who can last the longest laughing at this hilarious thread without wetting their knickers

My speciality
i.imgur.com/Gcn5wWt.gif

I am withdrawing my entry in the spelling event . I want to enter the trampoline event , I can bounce to approx two feet - on my bum

My dad (aged 87) has always been proud of his long distance lying down. If only I could get the chance to practice this event more!

Advanced biscuit dunking.

Converting the price of everyday goods into "old " money.

You can be in both anniebach, I hear that some competitors have been banned from the GN Olympics - illegal use of spellcheckers apparently.

My efforts on DGC's trampoline were too embarrassing to be seen in public and reduced him to hysterical laughter.
Rude child, would not help me up from a prone position and ran off giggling to fetch his mother so she could have a laugh too.

Can I have a late entry for the big Bunions running team event? - I have cut little 'v's in all my shoes now and can manage a steady trot for 100 yards without crying>

Oooh Jalima you've made me think of a sure winner - I am a champion at making young GC giggle uncontrollably! That's my gold sorted.