Escape

I think many people, if they're honest, feel like walking away, I have read incredible stories on here and the honesty and bravery of some people make me feel very humble. And, as Mums and Grans, we tend to stand and be counted!

carolboz hard to advise without a bit more info, I had a lightbulb moment some years ago, and walked away from my then husband.

You sound very hopeless and if you are overwhelmed by life in general then I think that's understandable.

Phoenix is right , just a little more info would help .

If you feel you can't share any more info , are you a list maker ? Maybe writing it all down might help you with some clarity ?

Carplboz, I understand how you feel, get like that from time to time, but luckily I have a family that supports me. Please, please, talk about your problems, either to friends and family or on here, you will find plenty of emphatic ears. If you think your problem is depression, which if there is no obvious cause, could well be the case, seek medical advice, doctors are well versed in how to help.

Hello carolboz
is it possible for you book in to a Retreat.
A close family member did this when she was going through a bad time
The one she chose was a Buddhist retreat. (There are other types)
She had the space and quietness to think through her life and the issues that were troubling her.
She used the time to assess what she felt was wrong in her life.
She has since made some big changes.
And also some small changes that have turned out to be just as important as the big ones

I think she has found peace and is now more in control of her life.
Good luck

*GandT is right of course - he knows of what he speaks. And so do I. We cannot escape from our own lives; we have to find ways of living them to the best of our ability.

All I can say is that things do change with time; life moves on and what seems insoluble now will change.

You could see your GP to get things properly assessed - it would I think be a wise thing to do.

I only recently got to know a Buddhist well and he is now a close friend (play ukulele with him) He goes on retreats several times a year and they sound very relaxing, give you a chance to evaluate what is important in life. I suspect they would welcome everyone even if you are not Buddhist.

Sometimes even short breaks are very useful. When did you last have a break or a holiday?

I have a Buddhist friend who goes on so many retreats that I sometimes wonder if she is retreating from the retreats!!

When this feeling comes, as it does from time to time, if I can I go to Tenby in Wales. It's been my 'special place', my running away place, for over 40 years. Of course it gets busy now but there are quiet places with beautiful views. If the season and weather allows a day on Caldey Island sorts me. Is there somewhere you could go for just a little while that would give you some breathing space and allow life to settle a bit? Of course it doesn't change anything practical but I think, relax, clear my mind and come back stronger. Won't work for all of course, hope you find your way. Good thoughts from other posters, hope one resonates with you.

luckygirl you make such a good point, we cannot escape from our own lives.
It's very sad though, the responsibilities in many of our lives weigh so heavily. There's no way we could escape them though without hurting those we love.
carolboz I have no answers for you, sorry, at least you have found us now.

carolboz - how are things today? Have you managed to come up with any ideas to ease your burdens? I do think that the idea of the sea is a good one - there is something restful about a quiet place by the sea - it is so vast that it puts everything else into perspective. I have a CD of sounds of the seashore which I have transferred to my iPod and listen to in bed sometimes. I also have one of the dawn chorus.

Perhaps a retreat near the sea would be a good combinatio.

I once went to Iona, a peaceful island off Scotland's west coast. It is dominated by the abbey where the community is full of kindness and the wonderful white beaches contribute to the calm atmosphere.http://www.welcometoiona.com/index.php?id=125

Take care

Hi I have been reading the above threads I am a Buddhist nun .I would recommend you try Buddahist meditation classes there you will learn to control your mind because we can run away but our mind still goes with us .Learning to control our mind takes time it is not a waterfall but like a gently flowing river .Meditation has made a huge difference to my life I am happy peacefull and contented .Just google Modern Buddahism .All my love and blessings Kelsang Zondru x

Carolboz, I too have longed to walk away recently, ( thought I might manage to live cheaply somewhere else ) but it would leave my DDs with so much responsibility for my sick OH and handicapped DS (still at home ), that I just couldn't. That's our problem - we seem to carry so much responsibility. I feel for you. You are not alone.

I will be first in the queue if there is an escape. I find that the people I loved best have all died, the kids are great but miles away and busy with their own lives etc.

World news is terrifying. I can't honestly see the point in going on most days and would not want to be chemically propped up by a GP or sent to some counsellor for their take on why life should be positive, when mine isn't and hasn't been for most of the time. I find this notion that if you aren't 'happy' you need psycho social adjustment by some numptie with a CBT form or some anti depressants.

The prospect of years ahead dwindling away and being a bloody nuisance to the kids holds absolutely no sparkle for me at all.

As for life..........a good deal of it sucks. Would be lovely to be beside the sea, provided nobody else turned up and the seagulls showed some respect..but even sunsets get boring.

I feel guilty that my mother and sister both died in their fifties and so wanted to live and here am I just waiting for the off.....and waiting, and waiting..........and that is also a perfectly respectable point of view, not an illness but a long look at the way life has been and a judicial response.

Hi just google New Kadampa Tradition where you can enter your post code and find your nearist centre everybody is very welcoming and helpful.

I too had recently walked away for a while...things just got too much...aging but dear dad..hospital appointments & marital discontent..feeling totally taken for granted...lack of respect from husband...tough times...somehow you summon up the strength to get through...a break certainly and absolutely does help to clarify what you're feeling...& helps you work out both what's important...& how you want to live your life...hugs to all going through a difficult period in your daily lives..be strong...& you can get through..xxx
{flowers}

Do understand how you feel Carolbolz. Life is tea difficult sometimes and I have often wanted to walk away. My favourite book is Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler. It's about a woman who accidentally walks away from her life. I always feel better after reading it. Retreats can be expensive so what I did once was book a room in an inexpensive hotel in another town. I spent time just reading and being alone with my thoughts. I felt so much better for it. I hope you feel better soon. As others have said life does move on, and things will change. I'm going through difficult times myself recently and really wish I could run. But I'm in a lupus/rheumatoid arthritis flare so wouldn't get far!

I enjoy a good drama on TV, so when we sat down to watch one a few years ago I was quite stunned by the opening scene. It was a sad-looking woman who seemed to be with a therapist. "When was the last time you felt happy?", she was asked. No response. "What about when you got married, gave birth, something like that?" Again, no response, but...then she replied, "I don't think I've ever been happy", and that's when it hit me, I don't ever remember being really happy. Is that normal?

radical nan...I honestly feel for you...& agree & can identify with all that you say...I too have lost loved ones...feel so alone at times...I truly hope you find comfort through some friends..or deep within yourself..get away be kind to yourself...as us women are to others...wishing you a way forward..& hope you find support on here...hugs & best wishes..xx

hello carolboz....yes I truly have felt the need to walk away...and have done so recently...went to stay with my dearest dad...who lives alone since we lost mum...he has such a wisdom and a wonderful way of putting things into perspective...find a relative/friend to support you..who is a good listener...it really helps...and of course..i'm here to listen too!..as are we all...I felt clearer in my mind after a two week soul searching break away from home...still feel unsettled..unsure...but so much better for getting away...try it..you owe it to yourself Carol.....{flowers}

Timely thread for me. Yes , I wonder if walking away would make me happier. I am stuck at home with a husband who works full time at age 73. And when he is home he seems to like completely different things. And everything I like doing has no value to him.for example gardening .
Usually I fill my time looking after the grandchildren,going to u3a and looking after allotment.
Our mortgage runs out next year and we may have to sell the house and buy a smaller place further out.
The uncertainty is getting us both down.
Any ideas?

Thankyou every one, your support it is wonderful and unexpected. After I read my post, I thought for goodness sake get a grip. But sometimes that is easier said than done as you have all shown. For today I am going to check out meditation via the routes mentioned above but just now take myself out for the day, maybe have a walk and a coffee somewhere. Lists are always good and I have used them in the past, but they make things so final and not sure if I am ready to go there yet. My mixed up world is a combination of things, I have had the rug pulled from under me so many times just lately. Thank you, and I hope this thread helps others in a similar situation.

Left the laptop for a think when I read your post. My sympathies go to you.
I don't know your circumstances but hope you can get somewhere in some fashion to calm your mind and take a step back to assess your feelings. Even a relaxation tape or CD can help.
There are posts here that point you towards organisations that can help you further. I wondered about The Samaritans and googled them. Do you have access to the internet to see what they are about? The library will have it.
You have reached out on Gransnet which is a good start. There is lots of good and compassionate advice on here and fellow feeling. I so hope you can find some space for yourself to help you find a way forward. May good things begin to go with you.