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Opinions please

(19 Posts)
Ilrina Fri 09-Sep-16 15:54:16

He has residency? but nothing legal in place? I would still say he doesn't have a leg to stand on, although I am no expert in these matters, just trying to look at it from a logical point of view. It is nasty of him to use the Children as pawns here. I feel that whatever happens between adults their main concern should be( In a perfect world), to keep everything as seemingly normal as possible for the Children's sake.
I guess your D does need some proper legal advice to be able to move on. I wonder if there is any financial help available anywhere for this, might be worth looking into, could perhaps make CAB the first port of call, or a Childrens charity, just for advice. what a worry it must be for all of you. I hope it goes as well as it can do, keep us posted flowers

annsixty Fri 09-Sep-16 07:39:12

That is where they have the upper hand, using the children as pawns. It is beyond despicable. If I remember the background to this rightly he has an army of family fighting his corner, your D needs proper legal standing but this can be expensive and escalate the situation for the worse.

ninathenana Fri 09-Sep-16 00:13:33

Sorry stupid Kindle

ninathenana Fri 09-Sep-16 00:12:00

Illriina We would love to ignore the stupid twat but unfortunately there are children involved and he has residency (nothing legal) Not seeing the children unless she pays is all part of the threat.

Ilrina Thu 08-Sep-16 23:05:41

I wouldn't even argue the toss with him, just blank him and ignore him, see what he comes up with, from what you have said I wouldn't think he has a leg to stand on either, and he probably knows that. This could all be just trying to wind you all up, so don't give him the satisfaction smile Good Luck

annsixty Thu 08-Sep-16 21:46:57

It's good to hear when it does work. Some are still waiting (and hoping) though it isn't my SiL in my case.

mcem Thu 08-Sep-16 21:32:01

Our idiot borrowed a large amount of cash for an extension to his house. His parents turned him down because of previous behaviour so they turned to me. The house would be put in joint names and would provide additional bedrooms and a larger kitchen. I said that I wouldn't ask for interest on condition my 2 gc's had their new rooms.
Fastforward! He is a cruel, controlling, verbally abusive b**** and D sees the light. Eventually, with a lot of support she leaves him. 4 years on and extension was still a skeleton. However after my solicitor wrote to him my capital was repaid but no interest ( probably approx £3k). I was talked out of taking it further as D pointed out he'd simply withhold child support until he recovered it.
Now DD and kids in decent house in happy new relationship while his house is significantly less valuable with its unfinished white elephant extension. My cash had been used to prop up his dismal business.
Karma works!

Deedaa Thu 08-Sep-16 21:30:12

It seems unlikely that he could claim back money from someone he's still married to. Where would it end ? Should I ask DH to hand back money I gave him when I was earning more than him?

Judthepud2 Thu 08-Sep-16 20:51:22

Let him threaten! He will have to pay solicitors fees to go to court which will likely be more than he is owed. And go ahead with your request for the repayment of your loan to him. Bet he backs down! He sounds full of it! Idiot!

Our idiot is threatening to take DD 'for every penny' with the divorce, quite forgetting that 1) he has never paid towards the mortgage or utilities when he lived with her
2) it was her house in the first place
3) he pays no child maintenance for his son.
4) he earns more than she does


harrigran Thu 08-Sep-16 19:51:50

I would invite the ex round to discuss the matter and greet him on the doorstep with a raggy barge pole and proceed to tell him what you are prepared to do with it if he does not b****r off.

Eloethan Thu 08-Sep-16 19:28:34

It has to be shown that the fact that the money was only given on the understanding that it was a loan, not a gift, was made very clear before any money was spent. I think that, theoretically, a verbal agreement is enough to form a contract. But I can't see how a Court would accept that it was a loan without there being any written agreement or any third party to testify that he/she witnessed a verbal agreement being made.

hulahoop Thu 08-Sep-16 17:38:57

Love your answer bet that shook him

shysal Thu 08-Sep-16 16:47:22

What an idiot!. I suggest you fill out a small claims application for the amount owed to you. It is very easily done on line. I did this for a larger amount owed to me by my idiot SIL. I wrote telling him when the claim was going in and that it would include added interest, and posted the letter without an envelope through his girlfriend's door when I knew he was out at football. (He never replies to any correspondence so we have no way of knowing what he has or hasn't read). The day before the claim was to be submitted he paid up! Although the girlfriend is a bi*ch, I suspect she read the letter and was angry with him. I wish I had mentioned the non-payment of child support too! I expect he is bleeding her dry as well!

ninathenana Thu 08-Sep-16 16:20:43

Yes kitty I probably can grin sadly they are at the moment still married.

I hadn't actually thought about them still being married. How can husband demand a wife repay money to him. Oooh, kitty you've made me smile.

Indinana Thu 08-Sep-16 16:14:12

Miserable tight ba$tard! I really like your answer. Tell him to stick his nasty threats where the sun don't shine.

kittylester Thu 08-Sep-16 16:11:32

Are they still married? I don't know whether that matters but you'd think it might.

Oooo! I'm really angry for you! angry

kittylester Thu 08-Sep-16 16:09:50

Bet you can guess what I think nina.

Unless it's a large amount it won't be worth even taking her to the small claims court and you can threat to ask for half of the money you lent them.

Hope your DD is ok and will stand strong - and kick him in the G**lies given the chance!

Elegran Thu 08-Sep-16 16:08:24

I like your answer to him.

ninathenana Thu 08-Sep-16 16:03:45

D's ex is demanding (threatening court) the re payment of all monies he's given her whilst they were trying for reconciliation. They have agreed now that this will never happen. She took these amounts for petrol and sundries whilst she was at college and living on JSA. She understood at the time that they were a gift not a loan to be repaid. My opinion is he doesn't have a leg to stand on regarding a court case. I've also told him to take it out of the £1500 he owes me for non returned deposits on two properties they rented whilst together. He had no answer to that grin
What do others think ?