they come and go

This has really helped me to read all these stories make me realise I'm not alone, been telling myself off alot today with the tears but hey mother love is truly a very strong emotion

Oh I do so sympathise with everyone as my son and 2 GDs live in New Zealand.
They've been there 6/7 years now and it's 4 years since I've seen my son and I've never met my youngest GD. My son is not good at communicating so we only FaceTime about once a month if I'm lucky. I haven't been over there as I can't face the journey on my own plus I have commitments here. I suffered terrible grief when my DS first went but it gets easier with time- especially if you don't see them funnily enough. This avoids the awful goodbyes that were mentioned (cowards way out I know). I miss my DS so much though and think of him every day plus I dream about seeing him all the time.
It's all been made even worse now as he and his wife have separated so I can't even think of the little family all together. My son has a new girlfriend and has the girls to stay several times a week but it's very hard not being able to help him and my GDs through this difficult situation. As a mother I could never have imagined being in this position with my child but he loves it there and is happy despite his difficulties with his marriage.
I think mothers are destined to suffer and endure but at least our sons are alive, I often think of the mothers ( and fathers) who lost their children in past wars.

Both my offspring live abroad - DD in Asia and DS in Europe. DD and I speak on skype and message on whatsapp 3 or 4 times a week. As for DS I am lucky if it is once a month. This week I got an unexpected message !! It was to say that a parcel would be arriving in the next few days. Wow I thought !! The parcel was a pair of cycling shoes he had bought cheap on ebay (for himself) and would I keep them until we meet up again (probably not until early summer next year!).

That made me laugh tiggy. I get the parcels sent here too!

I've had 25 years now of my daughter and family living in Europe. True, that's not as far as some GN offspring, but I feel so sad when I see neighbour's families who can can just 'pop round' or when I see grans and grandads go to pick the children up from school. I'd love to be able to do that.

It helps to know that I'm not alone in this situation though and it puts it into perspective to read the posts in this thread. As my grandson is getting older he will hold quite long conversations with me now. He usually asks, 'So grandma, what have you been doing today?'

My daughter and he are coming for Halloween and I've made myself busy booking activities to do in those few days. Planning visits helps both sides to come to terms with how things are.

Cath9, I hope you're feeling a lot better today and have spoken to your son. Stay positive. [fowers]

Home at last to Autumn.....
Saying goodbye was tough but they will be here on December 5th....my friends who have grandchildren in this country say we see our grandaughter more than they see theirs....going to keep busy getting ready for visit!!

I know my aunt (91) finds it tough when her son's return home (Abu Dhabi and Scotland) She lives in Surrey. She sees her grandsons about once a year. She is so excited that the eldest is now at Uni on the south coast. I hope he does make it for some visits!

Sons NOT son's!!

I am thinking of another visit, but have not been over there on my own, so like you mentioned Oldgoose, I am also a bit concerned that I may get too anxious being away from home. Last time I visited NZ my dear husband was alive.

I did shed a few tears but soon pulled myself together, but it happened again the following morning.

I have never lived close to any other members of my family either as a child or to this day now that my own children have flown the nest. It must be lovely to live close enough to pop in whenever one felt like it. #wistful thinking

We and our children are in close contact and keep abreast of happenings as much as we can which is much easier than it was in past generations. It was so expensive to phone home in days gone by and I now realise just how very lonely my own mother was. I do feel guilty that I wasn't more aware at the time and that I didn't make much more effort to be more in contact.

In past generations it was not often that when family emigrated to the other side of the globe that they would ever all meet up again which is not so often the case nowadays thankfully.

yes it is the spontaneous meet ups , or just being able to pop in, that i miss now my daughter has settled in europe. we got back from our visit monday, have unpacked and most things put back away. will see her in december i think and then not again til maybe this time next year.
i have just read another thread from a father whose daughter is emigrating to canada. he is upset, we all are i suspect when it happens, but best not to show it too much. my daughter knows we would like her to live closer, but it just isnt going to happen. we have to deal with it. sending good wishes and happy thoughts to everyone with loved children far away.

It must be so hard and painful to have to say goodbye when your DS and family are that far away. My DD is only 3 hours away and I find that tough enough. My brother lives in Germany and my other brother down South and my Mum used to weep buckets every time they went back. As much as she tried not to cry in front of them, she just couldn't help it

My DC always beg me not to cry but it is quite impossible when you feel that tightening in the throat. DH and I spend all day deliberately reliving all the joys of their visit so that we can smile again. So glad that they can come!

I'm also glad to know that we're not alone feeling like this. Our son has been in NZ for 3 years now and not been able to afford to come back to visit yet with 2 small children. We were lucky enough to go out there a year ago and my husband also went for a couple of weeks in August. I know my son is often homesick and feels lonely - his wife has all her family and friends around them who are lovely people but which I guess makes him feel a bit of an outsider. They have got better at keeping in touch having found FaceTime works better than Skype so we probably speak every couple of weeks or so and he does message with pictures and videos of the children as they're growing. I am also on my 3 year old grandson's nursery Storypark which lets me see what he's doing on a weekly basis which is wonderful. Our other son and family only live 2 hours away but we don't seem to have any more contact with them either - they all have busy working/social lives so it's difficult to find a time to get together. We look at those we know who have children and grandchildren close by and feel sad that we are on our own but thankful that they are all well and happy in their chosen lives.

I am so glad this has got so many together. I also notice one mentioning about storypark, which my son has recently sorted out for me and that was a new blog which I put up a while ago.
His wife seems a nice young lady and his wife's family seem to be fond of my son, including the aunts and uncles, which is such a blessing. I just hope they will stay together, but my son is a tough lad so if anything happens I know he will survive.
I have heard good remarks about this Facebook, so would you recommend that I try it rather than Skype?

Cath

My son emigrated to Australia 20 years ago where he met and married an Ozzy girl.DH and myself visited them every 2/3 year for a few weeks (we were both working at that time), and we both fell in love with Perth WA and vowed that when we retired, we would move there too...the only problem being that we still had 2 married daughters living in the UK, but we persuaded them to visit Perth WA and fortunately they both loved the place too and emigrated here, so now all three of my children and their families (5 grandchildren) are all living here, so no more more tearful goodbyes at the airport, thank goodness.

yattypung how lovely for you all. it couldnt have worked out better. And, all that sunshine"!

Today is the last day I'll spend with my son and family in the States. After 3 weeks it's time to go. We've all had a grand family time, but work and school schedules have been re-arranged at times for us, and now we are all ready to get back to our own lives. This feels very natural. It's been wonderful, but I'm not heartbroken at the though of leaving them. They are well and happy, as are we. If all goes well, we'll be able to visit again sometime. FaceTime and photos will continue regularly. I really do feel very fortunate in our collective happiness as a family. That'll do me.

Have any of you grandmas received an email from a chap, who did apologies for using this forum and adding that he is doing a documentary on family reunions.
Their offspring have to live in far off shores so either OZ or NZ etc?

Not me, Cath9 - perhaps you should report the message to GNHQ; I'm pretty sure it's against the rules for such approaches to be made through private messaging on GN. (Although I see you say it was an email which shouldn't be visisble from this site?)

I had a PM. Left it hanging. Too busy enjoying my time with overseas family. [smile ]

My eldest grandson has just spent a year in Tokyo as part of his degree course. He is back in the UK now for his final year but we are convinced that he will return to Japan afterwards, particularly as he has met a lovely lady there. My DD and SIL went out to visit him in August and were very impressed with both the country and the young lady. Luckilly my DGS is very good at keeping in touch via Viber but we are all going to miss him if he makes his home there.