Do you or don't you.

I expect you will be thinking that it is a good way to teach children to give to others instead of being selfish. However, they are always coming to me with requests to support them in a sponsored race or competition, they are always coming for donations to school charities and they also take their unwanted toys to Charity shops, so I think they have learned that lesson already, and I am pleased that they have. They also fill shoe boxes for children overseas too which they have fun doing.

I agree Yorkshiregel, there is only so much you can give, especially if you are on a limited income. If my DS or DIL asked me to donate to charity rather than buy them a present I would be happy to do it. However, my DGS would not understand the idea behind it and just see that he hadn't got a present. Like a lot of people I give money to certain charities and things to charity shops. I was surprised how much a charity shop had raised from the items I'd donated last year (they tell me in a letter of thanks ref Gift Aid).

I'm always amazed at the amount of 'begging letters' sent by charities at this time of year - surely the costs of doing that would be better spent on their charity function? I know it's classed as fundraising expenditure and awareness-raising but it causes grief to those who cannot afford to donate (or increase existing donations) and there are so many in need of help

I think you have to decide on your own budget and how you will allocate it and not be pressured or coerced into giving more than you can or want to afford. The Widow's Mite comes to mind.

I tend to give a little more to Shelter at Christmas time . The money I would have spent on cards and stamps goes to them , our family decided we would not send cards anymore it is such a waste of money (in my opinion)
I don`t spend a huge amount anyway but do buy for my GC .

Its not enough to give a pound or two now. You get hijacked by folk wanting you to take out a standing order for "just 10 pounds" a month.

It's because so many are in need of help that charities are forced to beg!

No, I agree it's not enough to just give a pound or two, which is why many of us donate monthly through standing orders and others give up their time to volunteer.

Charities are indeed forced to beg, which is sad. But I do dislike them using those who have no stake in their charity to accost people in the street, and the sceptical attitude when I say (truly) that I give all I can afford.

One day one of these people are going to pull that face when I'm in a really bad mood ......

There is no right or wrong thing to do when giving to charities. I have a few standing orders and give to genuine charity collectors as well as sponsoring friends and grandchildren for walks / runs / bike rides, etc, and have sponsored cows, goats and teachers, but I do seem to receive masses of begging letters in the post - not so many phone calls now - and most seem to ask for standing orders, which I'm afraid I tend to bin. Perhaps you could send a store or book token instead of a cheque - it is difficult to buy for children nowadays. Continue to choose your own charities to support and say to parents that you would like to give something to the grandchildren. Maybe its time to stop giving to nephews and nieces - or put £5 or £10 in a card for them to buy something for themselves. Don't worry about it - just do your own thing.

We have an agreement with two relatives that instead of birthday and Christmas gifts to each other (and we really don't need more 'stuff') we each have a standing order for the animal charity for which one of them works voluntarily. We also give what we can via standing order to other charities, including cancer research, but I was really annoyed to get a call from a cancer research fundraiser who was so persistent in asking me to raise the amount each month that in the end I had to say that I couldn't rearrange my words in any other way to say no - I had said it about eight times. I also asked her if it was the case that these calls, if they succeeded, resulted in her company taking part of the extra donation every month, not just once. She moved off that subject very swiftly. I felt rattled by her attitude, and can see why older people who are alone or timid get bullied into giving what they truly cannot afford.

Giving to charity is such a personal thing and we all have reasons for giving where we do,. I would be very proud of my grandchildren if they asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.
I think we have to be honest with family and say if our income is limited we would like to give a smaller gift and support our charity as well. Works for us.

I had to smile yesterday and thankfully the gentleman was a nice man so that certainly helped. I volunteer for my local hospice shop , we keep a box outside a have a pile of ( slightly tatty ) books that are 4 for a £1.00 . He came into the shop with a book ,had a look around saw we had hospice diaries for £2.00 and handed me both together at the till, I rang in £2.25 (book plus diary ). He paid and I handed both back to him. All good so far. He gave me a slight strange look and then said ' I'm giving you the book '. I'd only charged him for his own book ! . Being the lovely man he was he refused the refund. We all had a laugh in the shop saying we'd charge the lovely people that donate items 25p per item- which would soon bump up the coffers !!!

I give to my favourite Charity, and give to Charity boxes in shops.
One thing I strongly object to is, here in Sweden, outside EVERY shop door there is a beggar from Romania I think, sitting all year round begging, people are so sick of it they want a law against it, as they have in our neighbouring Country Denmark.
It may seem hard, but it isnt possible to give to all these people, where does it end, they sit with their mobile phones! when they receive money in their plastic cup, put the money in their pockets so it looks as if they have not been given any, then somebody collects them each evening, and presumably collecte their money, quite heart breaking.

I only give to two charities, the local air ambulance and the RNLI, both charities in which I can see the results.

The rest, especially those with expensive HQ buildings and overpaid bosses get nothing from me.

Diddy1 I agree with you. Our local car park had a Romanian lady sitting under the machine when you pay for your parking. You had to lean over her. Of course she was holding out a cup for change. She has now been banned from the car park. In Dublin the beggers sit under the cash machines. It's so intimidating. I wouldn't use a machine when they're there. I know the Romanians are collected in the evenings in a minibus, so it's all organised. In Belfast there was a begger who would press the button at the crossing when people want to cross the road. Then he would demand money! The police had to deal with him.

If you were CEO of Save the Children, for example, and had to organise the setting up of field hospital during the Ebola outbreak, staffing them, sourcing food, medicine, equipment, transport, etc. then I sincerely hope you would be paid a salary in keeping with your responsibilities. Without the likes of STC I doubt the Ebola outbreak would have been brought under control so quickly as the WHO was certainly dragging its collective heels.

Now they are organising food, blankets, tents, etc for help Syrian refugees in camps through this coming winter. Among other international relief projects.

Have you any idea of the strategic thinking that has to go into this kind of relief project EEJit - it's not like running your annual Brownie Camp.

I've no objection to paying senior staff the wages to attract those best capable of getting the job done. Over 80p in the £1 collected by OXFAM for example goes directly to the people who need it, and all charities accounts are open for public scrutiny.

I usuall give to the Salvation Army and Crisis at Christmas. This year I also bought three bales of hay for a horse sanctuary as a present for my horsey granddaughter. Hope she approves!

I was very annoyed recently when I gave money to a charity run by Sister Rita ( on tv)
Then I found out that my money, or some of it, was given to a charity that I wouldn't support.
I've been suspect of beggars for some years now. There is only one older lady that I give to when I see her. Well actually, she see's me first and makes a beeline for me now, but we laugh about that.

A few years ago I donated to a charity via the phone. Unfortunately I was then plagued by phone calls to donate more, and just not to the original charity, my number must have been 'donated' to other charities. I felt as though I had been put on a mugs list. I now only donate a small amount of cash to certain buckets outside of shops so no details are given. I still however give to my Grandchildren too, my family always come before charities, they are more trustworthy!

I do not object to giving something to charity, I hope I did not give that impression. It is heartbreaking to see people sleeping in the streets in our cities, and even more frustrating to read that would be immigrants are being given houses and food. I think charity begins at home. More often than not when you give to a 'beggar' there is an organized gang master behind them. My son had a solution to that, he used to go in to a supermarket, buy one get one free and give the 'free' one away. That way the person receiving it could eat it themselves.....no money changing hands.

I give to charity, and I was a member of the Red Cross when younger. I worked in a hospital at Christmas and went to bathe the old folk during the summer as well as patrolling a canal that was being renovated and treading the streets to knock on doors for donations, all gratefully received. I just recently donated summer duvets to the Sally Army so they could pass them on (all washed and clean)to someone who had nothing at all to keep them warm. All unwanted clothes and shoes also go to charity shops as well as books.

Thank you. I see lots agree with me that they would rather give a present. What I object to is not being allowed to treat my grandchildren and nephews with a gift unless they can pass the money/gift on to a worthy cause. They will wonder why I didn't remember them this year. Oh well, I suppose if you give money they can do what they like with it.

I don't give a tangible gift to grandchildren but send money to be used for things like dance classes etc. My son buys and wraps small gifts which he knows they would love (they are abroad) saying it is from gran and she is paying for your .........
I am against giving to charities whose executives earn mind watering sums and those who pay people to work on the phones or on the streets to browbeat you into regularly contributing to their coffers.
Yesterday It was freezing and I gave the big issue seller outside my place of business a plate of hot soup so we both had the same lunch. At least I know no middlemen benefitted.

Going off at a tangent, there are just too many charities. New ones are springing up every week. Surely it is time to bring some sense and clarity into the whole charity scene.

The large charities now employ CEOs on salaries equivalent to many large companies. They are all competing for money and despite the huge total sum given by people from all corners of the UK they still want more. This muct become a zero sum game at some time.

The more we give to charity the more those charities do the work that governments should be doing. Perhaps we will arrive at a situation where we are all debited with set amounts which will then be distributed among charities according to a set formula. At least that would relieve the charities from employing very expensive staff.

No - if I care about a charity (Clic, Diabetes UK, Diabetrs UK, local charities etc), I nake a voluntary donation of whatever I feel I can afford at a given time. Some years ago, my mum (very elderly, and with everything she needed), lost her dog a few weeks before Xmas. I knew she wouldn't get another, so rhought she'd like the idea of a Dogs Trust Sponsorship and was really upset when she took umbrage at what I thought was a generous and good idea. Never again! I get really angry at those horrible making you feel guilty adverts asking for "only" £3 a week. When you only have about £100 weekly to live on, with bills to pay and lots of demands on your money, £3 is actually a lot and I resent being told how much I should give.

I would say it depends if the child has actually asked you to do this. Otherwise, they should get a present to open on Christmas day. Children are children.
My mother has just gone into a lovely care home and needs nothing, she has asked for charity gifts instead of presents, so I will do that thing.
I don't see any connection between charity giving and Christmas, the need exists all year round.

Yes Anya I do realise. But just how much of each pound donated actually goes towards these projects as opposed to building costs, wages etc.