Has a lack of, or an abundance of, siblings affected your personality?

Looking at the heading of this thread I started off wondering how you could possibly know when you are what you are. BUT having looked at my family, both siblings and cousins, I think you have a valid point Lillie and I think perhaps it is the circumstances in which we find ourselves which 'condition' us to be the way we are.

#wandering off and doing more big thinks!

I was raised as an only child and only discovered in later life that I have half-siblings on both my mother and father's side. We are now in touch, but there is no real closenness which springs from a shared upbringing, I think.
So really I am an only child, I suppose. I would absolutely love to have had a close relationship with siblings, but then the grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it.
We might have loathed each other...

I am the last of 4 but grew up an only child really. my eldest sister left home the night i was born, next left when i was 3 and by the time i was 4 my brother was in the R.N. By the time i was 8 they were all back home bossing me around so much i felt i had 5 parents. I am nearly 50 years of age and still treated as the baby !

Thank you for such personal and honest answers to the question in this thread.

We all have in common the fact that no one can choose the position they fit into the family, it just happens! Neither can we change it. Interesting also, that many of us wish we had not been an "only" and some even wish they had been.

I am so sorry to hear of the sadness in your life trendygran, good friends are worth their weight in gold . Hope you have peace at Christmas.

I was an 'only child' who always longed for siblings . I found out that my Mum had had a still born boy 4 years before I was born.
I had no cousins either as myMum was an only and my Dad's only sister had no children.
I was determined to have more than one child and had two lovely daughters. Very sadly my younger daughter ended her own life at 33 as a result of PND which was not treated correctly and led to a psychosis. She left my 2 gorgeous granddaughters, now11 and 9. They live 300 miles away so see them rarely,unfortunately.
I feel so much for my elder daughter ,now left as an only ,which I was so determined would not happen. She is happily married with 2 adopted children ,as she was unable to have her own through endometriosis.
I do still feel very much alone at times since losing my DH just over 8 years ago,and my daughter 16 months later.
I have several good friends and keep as busy as I can but that longing for siblings is ,if anything, even stronger now I am on my own again.

I am an only child, everyone I knew had siblings so I felt everso slightly a bit different but it wasn't a problem. I was happy entertaining myself, reading, playing with my dolls, etc. We lived in tied houses that didn't have neighbours so no playing out in the street like some of my friends did, for which I was very thankful because I was not good at sticking up for myself. The only time I really missed siblings was on holiday when I would have loved someone to go paddling with and building sandcastles. My two daughters are 2 and 3/4 years apart, now in their thirties and married and are the best of friends. I am still very independent and self-sufficient and, yes, a bit selfish with my time as I never had to share with anyone when growing up.

I was an only one and longed for a little sister . I had a twin who was also a girl and was still born and I alway wonder how different life would have been if she had lived . How I wished she had been there when decisions had to be made about our mother in later life . My mother never told me ( or did not know ) where she was buried but I contacted a lady who researched baby graves and she found out for me . Sadly just a grave number no headstone so I do not even know if she had a name .
I am very fond of my own company and can fill my days by myself quite well .

I am an only child born to 'older' parents. As an adult my main observation is that I find arguments really difficult. Without siblings to practise the daily little disagreements I find I don't have the ability to kiss and make up. My DD and I had an argument which led to a 6 year separation. A dear friend died without us ever resolving a difference of opinion. My relationship with dh is strained because I harbour and minute every harsh word he has ever said to me. When my grandsons fight I tell myself they are merely practising for life!

Grandma60 I didn't know either of my birth parents, met my birth mother when in my 40's. During my pregnancies I did worry about any inherited illnesses, thankfully there were no problems.

I am the middle of 3 children. Older brother died 5 years ago sadly and I have a sister seven years younger. I think I was the easiest child as I was very conforming and never rocked the boat at all for my parents. I think perhaps life is easier for the middle one as long as you don't like lots of attention!

I was the oldest of six and was the general 'skivvy' ie housework, cooking, washing etc. Maybe now that is why I prefer my own company, and am also fiercely independent and would never ask for help. I think I am also quite selfish because of what I never had as a child.

On the other hand I now try to keep siblings in touch but to be honest they don't seem that bothered when months go past without contact. However that may just be me and they might actually be having a great time together! I have never made many friends either. I feel as if I fit the descriptions given above of an only child so how did that happen?

My family is so complicated. We are:

Sister, brother (disabled), me, brother (same mum English dad).

Half-sister, half-sister, half-sister (same mum, Irish dad).

Half-brother (same mum, Scottish dad).

Has my family situation affected my personality? Oh yes! But I don't have long enough to tell you about that now as I need to sleep!!

Half-brother, deceased half-brother, deceased half-brother (same dad, English mum).

I regard my half-sisters as sisters and my mother's youngest son as a brother. My half brother on my dad's side I didn't keep in touch with after I left my father's house and he has lived in America for most of his life. I adored the youngest of my dad's sons and was devastated by his death when I was in my teens.

In the following order I lived with my mum and dad, my dad, my mum and (Irish) stepdad, my dad and step-mum, my grandparents, and my mum when she was a single parent.

I'm the third of four daughters,the eldest was precious as she had been ill for a long time and consequently got spoiled,number two was ( in my mothers eyes) the beautiful one,and number four was the baby ......all her life.Thankfully I'm quite well adjusted,loved being left to read,liked doing things on my own and my parents would drop me off at the theatre door and collect me when the show was finished,I get on best with the sister who is 5 years older than me ,the eldest sadly died aged 50 and the youngest we dont see,she didn't want to be involved in caring for my late mother.Us middle ones did it...for 12 years and we dont have any regrets we did all we could .So yes my place in the family has mmade me who I am,quite independent,self sufficient,confident with people and always happy to help anyone who needs it.I have a friend who has said I'm too much of a people pleaser and a bit of a doormat....I dont agree .I like doing things for the people I care for

Amy2shoes I was born in 1952. My Mother was unmarried. She chose to keep me which was almost unheard of in those days, but I could have easily been in your position. I know very little about my father, and it has only been since I turned 60 that I started to wonder if I could start to develop any illnesses from his side of the family. Thinking back, any health questionnaires I have been asked to complete in the past (antenatal etc) I have always ticked the NO box for everything.
Just wondering how you dealt with this?

I have one brother 2 years younger than me. We were never close as children, indeed I was happy when he was in hospital for one year, which sounds awful now. We did do some things together but often with a friend of mine there as well. I still have girlfriends from those days and I see people with sisters having a similar close relationship. I am glad now that I have a brother. We are very alike and it's nice to feel that there's someone else out there for you and we don't argue. I don't see him very often but we are in touch regularly.

I am an only child and always wished I'd had an older brother, why I know not! My parents were older and I was totally spoilt with love - not material things as they had little money but I wanted for nothing as I was happy. I was one of the lucky ones and have appreciated that more the older I've become. Sadly they departed this earth 30+ years ago and I think of them both most days. Being an only I feel I grew up quicker, was comfortable in adult company but also had cousins nearby to play with. I made friends quicker as I knew it was down to me to make the effort otherwise I would be on my own, more particularly when I went on holiday. I am confident and outgoing due to what I believe was my upbringing. My closest friend was the only girl of 6 children and was constantly babysitting her brothers - I felt so sorry for her and even now as an adult it's always her they turn to. Our lives were and are polar opposites but we have always remained close friends.

Amy2shoes I am an adopted only child too. When I read about the terrible cases of abuse in children's homes I realise how lucky I was, there but for the grace of God.

I was 10 years younger than my brother so by the time I was beginning to get to know him he left home.
I always wanted a twin brother

I was the youngest of three girls, my sisters being 4 and 11years older than me. I don't know if that affected my personality or not but I know I was blessed with the two best sisters I could have wished for.

My middle sister died ten years ago aged 54 and my eldest sister died two months ago aged 71.

I miss them both desperately, and always will. They were irreplaceable.

I'm an only child and I had a lovely memorable happy childhood. I'm an affectionate person and I do like my own company, however whilst not missing having any siblings in my younger years I have found I miss not having any now I'm older. It would be nice to share my thoughts and feelings with a sibling who could relate to how I feel and I would have someone to go to now I've lost both my parents.

I have a sister who is almost six years younger than me. I'm now 72 and we still only just tolerate each other.!!
Like GillyBob, Mum insisted on me taking her with me when ever I went to see my friends after school. I hated it. Imagine going to the matinee film on a saturday with your friends at age 14 and being stuck with an eight year old. I left home at 17 to join WRAF and when I came home on leave little sister was spoilt rotten, and Mum said she was sensitive, and to be kind !
We live about 100 miles apart now, and that suits us fine. We visit about every 3 months , and I ring her once a week, so I do try to make an effort. I would have loved to be an only child !!

I am an only child and it really never occurred to me that that was so. We lived in a close community, (as you did in the early 1930's) with aunts, uncles cousins all sleeping under the same roof. I think we learned to share, which was important, but as we grew up we all parted company to live in separate places. I didn't keep in touch with many of these, although my Mum was often visited by my cousins. I do sometimes now wish that I had a sister or brother with whom I could talk about the past, but not a lot happened, we were all poor and life just carried on. I find I make friends easily, but do not do 'close' relationships, I am by nature a very private person, which I think comes from the crowded way I lived when I was younger.

I am also an 'only'. very independent, hate asking for help, quite happy with my own company, although I do have friends. very happy to help others, in fact that was my occupation, until I became ill. Being an 'only' [and boarding school] does equip you for a lot of what life throws at you, and having the experience of relationships between other siblings in other bits of the family, cannot really say I feel that I missed out.

I am an only through adoption which only found out about this through gossip when 14. Has affected me terribly