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By request, The Annual Christmas Ritual of Cursing the Gammon!

(63 Posts)
phoenix Fri 23-Dec-16 10:02:00

Start by getting out all of your biggest pans and finding that none of them is quite the right size/shape for the meat. Apply your first curse. Then you set it to boil on your newly cleaned hob, and wait for the spitting and splashing to begin. You can now curse again, even if you haven't rolled a 6.

You then realise that you forgot to make a note of the weight for timing purposes. Rummage in the bin for the wrapper and miss two goes. Now experiment with different positions for the lid in an attempt to minimise the splashing. Have another curse when you realise that none of the positions works. Say to anyone within earshot that it's the same every year, and why on earth didn't they remind you of that when you bought it. (Deflecting blame earns you an extra 10 points and a small sherry).

Realise that you forgot to set the timer, and try to estimate how long it has been boiling so far. Don't worry too much about accuracy; you are bound to be wrong. Apply an extra 30 minutes to be on the safe side, miss one go and have a sherry. After an appropriate length of time, drain and leave to cool. Award extra points if all of the water goes down the sink, but miss 2 sherries if any goes either on the draining board or your feet.

Cover with something to protect from cats (extra points available if a colander will actually fit over it, but deductions if you have to deploy either a tea towel or tin foil).

Apply final curse and enjoy.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 23-Dec-20 16:06:46

Well I have already cooked two blasted gammons (in cider with cloves, bay leaves and peppercorns) for two AC. I have two more to cook tomorrow (ours and DD’s)

I can confirm there was cursing and I predict more to come ??????

Pantglas2 Wed 23-Dec-20 15:12:51

I don’t consider myself a newbie any more but hadn’t seen this one! Brilliant Phoenix- you have rare talent for making the mundane sound hilarious ?

phoenix Wed 23-Dec-20 15:08:09

Hello all, thought it time to resurrect this, after all, some newer members might enjoy it!

Menopaws Mon 26-Dec-16 06:59:00

After all this carve and put aside on a plate, put in microwave to quickly reheat and completely forget it and find on Boxing Day. Every year.

Diggingdoris Sun 25-Dec-16 18:39:42

If you want to try the marmalade one Jamila I boiled it in saucepan with a pint of boxed orange juice and water mix to cover it in pan. It was fabulous. A great hit with the family at tea time.

1974cookie Sat 24-Dec-16 21:56:00

I put mine in a slow cooker, but then at the end of the cooking time, I put it in a hot oven to brown a bit. If the rind is still on, score it in a x pattern all over before putting it in the oven.
So much easier, and beautifully moist.
Mind You.
Because there is very little to go wrong, does that mean less Sherry for the cook
tchhmm
Happy Christmas to You all tchsmile

Birene Sat 24-Dec-16 21:34:34

I agree that Nigella's recipe for gammon cooked in coca cola( I kid you not!) is wonderful. Easy to find on the web. Mine's on at the moment and I won't be able to resist a little (honest) sample later. Merry Christmas everyone.?

Legs55 Sat 24-Dec-16 21:32:44

Never done one & never will - can't bear all that faffing around.tchgrin

Purpledaffodil Sat 24-Dec-16 20:42:34

Have just done mine in slow cooker in Coca Cola a la Nigella. Glazed with maple syrup and studded with cloves. Nigella says no need to soak and I haven't found it necessary for years. Only problem is the cooking liquid isn't suitable for soup, too sweet!

Ana Sat 24-Dec-16 16:28:21

Why do people make so much work for themselves? tchgrin

Jalima Sat 24-Dec-16 16:24:53

Thanks Diggingdoris for the marmalade tip - I may try that in a minute.

It wouldn't fit in the slow cooker so has been simmering away and spilling all over the hob!!

Diggingdoris Sat 24-Dec-16 16:17:27

Mine has just finished cooking. Slow boiled for 3 hours( its a big one) then skin off and half a jar of chunky marmalade all over and into the oven. It looks scrummy and I shall be hard pressed not to have some tonight. My husband says its traditional to have it cold with mustard for Xmas day breakfast.
Roast beef is just out of oven so I must prepare the turkey to cook slowly from midnight. Yum!

marionk Sat 24-Dec-16 15:27:56

Already started eating ours!

Gaggi3 Sat 24-Dec-16 14:13:34

I am reminded of the story of the woman who always cut a slice of the ham before cooking, thinking it was essential to flavour etc. Her mother had always done so. Her D and DGD did likewise, until it transpired that originator had cut the bit off because it was too big for the pan.tchgrin Merry, merry to all.

newnanny Sat 24-Dec-16 13:39:13

I always do a turkey and a gammon. I am so grateful to do the gammon because it cooks on the hob and so does not take up any valuable room in the oven. I do get a bit miffed when the DS's seem to enjoy it more than the turkey which takes so much more faffing about; with sausage meat and stuffing and baconing it up as well. So I don't curse the gammon!

Jalima Sat 24-Dec-16 13:27:10

Mine is still in the fridge being ignored.

I may put it in the slow cooker in a bit - how long?

Rosina Sat 24-Dec-16 13:13:56

I put my brussells on to boil last night; they should be just the right consistency by tomorrow.

Happy and peaceful Christmas to all. xx

Nannanoo Sat 24-Dec-16 10:41:08

I always do mine in the slow cooker - I don't worry about timing it. I like doing the glazing bit, tho' that's the real fun! One year I made an emergency glaze with a mixture of apricot jam and Worcester sauce. It was so good that I always use that now instead of the honey and mustard. I put that on the sausages!

phoenix Sat 24-Dec-16 10:21:53

The only problem you will have if it is overcooked is that it will be practically impossible to carve!

oldgaijin Sat 24-Dec-16 10:20:10

Don't pour the cooking water down the sink...makes fab soup for Boxing Day.

MinniesMum Sat 24-Dec-16 09:58:11

Merlotgran
Don't throw it away. When it is cold it should be jellylike. I spoon mine into polybags, seal very tightly and it is amazing how you can fit the bags into corners in the freezers as they are still pliable. Think of all that pea and ham soup you will enjoy when the bad weather sets in!

Misskitkatcupcake Sat 24-Dec-16 09:42:16

It's my first year doing gammon, I was going to boil it but now I'm thinking my slow cooker and finishing off on the oven? How long is long enough for the slow cooker?

I was thinking cooking it in pear cider, bay leaves, cloves and an orange, then roast in honey, mustard and orange juice.

moxeyns Sat 24-Dec-16 09:36:25

Mine is boiled (in Coke, as per Nigella), glazed with quince paste, cooled, and in the fridge smile Tastes fab, we stole some.
Now I need to clean the roasting tin... curses...

grumppa Sat 24-Dec-16 09:25:34

I blame Emma Thompson in Saving Mr. Banks yesterday evening. I was so absorbed I didn't hear the pinger I had set with twenty minutes to go. Never mind, it was only one hour overcooked. It will fall apart nicely.

Blinko Sat 24-Dec-16 09:17:41

The slow cooker method sounds good to me. Must try it. Gammon is good anytime, isn't it?