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By request, The Annual Christmas Ritual of Cursing the Gammon!

(62 Posts)
phoenix Fri 23-Dec-16 10:02:00

Start by getting out all of your biggest pans and finding that none of them is quite the right size/shape for the meat. Apply your first curse. Then you set it to boil on your newly cleaned hob, and wait for the spitting and splashing to begin. You can now curse again, even if you haven't rolled a 6.

You then realise that you forgot to make a note of the weight for timing purposes. Rummage in the bin for the wrapper and miss two goes. Now experiment with different positions for the lid in an attempt to minimise the splashing. Have another curse when you realise that none of the positions works. Say to anyone within earshot that it's the same every year, and why on earth didn't they remind you of that when you bought it. (Deflecting blame earns you an extra 10 points and a small sherry).

Realise that you forgot to set the timer, and try to estimate how long it has been boiling so far. Don't worry too much about accuracy; you are bound to be wrong. Apply an extra 30 minutes to be on the safe side, miss one go and have a sherry. After an appropriate length of time, drain and leave to cool. Award extra points if all of the water goes down the sink, but miss 2 sherries if any goes either on the draining board or your feet.

Cover with something to protect from cats (extra points available if a colander will actually fit over it, but deductions if you have to deploy either a tea towel or tin foil).

Apply final curse and enjoy.

DaphneBroon Fri 23-Dec-16 10:03:55

tchgrintchgrin
Phew!
It wouldn't be Christmas ? without it!

merlotgran Fri 23-Dec-16 10:10:08

tchgrin

I'm staring at our gammon which has been soaking overnight and sending out taunting vibes from under the tea towel. We're doing a smaller one this year so not only do I have to rummage in the bin for the wrapper but also calculate a reduced cooking time because it's just small enough to go in the pressure cooker tchhmm

Thanks for giving me the willpower to get off my a**e on with it.

Luckygirl Fri 23-Dec-16 10:12:47

Put it in the slow cooker overnight - sorry to spoil the game! tchsmile

Anya Fri 23-Dec-16 10:14:28

tchgrin

Lynnieg Fri 23-Dec-16 10:14:38

Bake it?

PamelaJ1 Fri 23-Dec-16 10:17:54

Oh no , I wasn't going to soak the gammon till tomorrow, merlot! does that mean I'm too late and will have to throw it away??.
I WILL DO IT RIGHT NOW,

Luckygirl Fri 23-Dec-16 10:24:05

Soak it??? - is that what I am supposed to do?! tchgrin

Charleygirl Fri 23-Dec-16 10:57:28

Easy peasy, I do not like gammon so no cooking of it.

Hilltopgran Fri 23-Dec-16 11:06:55

I gave up soaking, I cook 25 mins to lbs in cider or apple juice with some added spice like cinemmon sticks and few cloves I use in large casserole dish, then finish by baking for last 15 mins in hot oven once I have removed skin and put on glaze. Family all love it done this way, and no mess for me to have to clear up.

jusnoneed Fri 23-Dec-16 11:24:49

lol, makes me glad I no longer have to cook a huge piece of gammon, can get away with smaller one these days.
I don't soak mine, just do similar to Hilltopgran but simmer in water. Finish off in oven with mustard and honey glaze, yum.
I will cook mine tomorrow.

Indinana Fri 23-Dec-16 11:34:57

luckygirl how long do you slow cook your gammon?

rosesarered Fri 23-Dec-16 11:40:18

Am doing a smaller one on Boxing Day.No soaking, it goes into an enamel casserole long dish with lid, some water and apple juice and a sprinkle of herbs.Into oven to cook, and that's it.
However Phoenix if the annual cursing is a happy ritual for you, don't use any other method.tchgrin ?Cheers! I always use wine when I cook, sometimes it even goes into the food.

phoenix Fri 23-Dec-16 11:45:43

Hello all!

That was actually written and posted on GN many years ago, I now bung it in the slow cooker, but still forget to time it properly tchblush

Izabella Fri 23-Dec-16 11:51:24

I'm with Luckygirl on this one. No brainer.

kittylester Fri 23-Dec-16 11:56:34

You are right, phoenix, we need this to start off Christmas!tchgrin

BBbevan Fri 23-Dec-16 12:44:05

And when you have done all that you have to remove the skin , score the fat in lovely diamond shapes. Put in the cloves. Brush on something sticky and bake. Havn't even defrosted yet. Hey ho ???

ninathenana Fri 23-Dec-16 12:53:08

I've read you no longer need to soak the joint due to the preperation method changing. I haven't soaked mine for a few years now.
I have never baked mine, I just simmer in water for 2-3 hrs. I did use the Nigella Coca cola method one year but couldn't taste the difference. However, this year D's SO wants to honey glaze and roast it after. I'm letting him get on with it tchsmile

baubles Fri 23-Dec-16 12:55:04

I'm doing two as usual, one for Christmas Day at DD's and one for Boxing Day at home.

Soak, boil, drain, derind, score, glaze, roast, aaaand repeat.

I love it really. tchgrin

cornergran Fri 23-Dec-16 13:15:26

Slow cooker while I drink the sherry tchgrin.

shysal Fri 23-Dec-16 13:23:24

Another slow cooker fan here, I buy a joint the same size and shape as the pot. Cook on low heat all day or night whatever the weight. Simples!

Rinouchka Fri 23-Dec-16 13:31:51

Will cook Nigella's Coca Cola Gammon tomorrow. Tried it last weekend with half sized joint and guests loved it so will do twice as much. I will only curse it if it turns out horrible, phoenix in honour of my convent girl beginnings. (I am vegetarian but the men in the family love all things to emanate from a pig!)

Greyduster Fri 23-Dec-16 13:32:30

I am doing two this year - one for us and one for DD. I'm cursing myself for thinking that was a good idea! I will put hers in the slow cooker but will have to braise mine in the oven as it won't fit anywhere else. I don't soak mine either.

merlotgran Fri 23-Dec-16 13:37:20

Well, I've managed to complete the boiling without any curses so I've rewarded myself with a small large sherry.

I now have a large jug of ham stock to deal with and a freezer which is full to bursting so many curses while I dig out some shallow rectangle plastic continers (the kind you get with a Chinese takeaway) and try to ram them into various crevices.

DH is telling me to just pour it down the sink but my frugal upbringing will NOT allow me to waste all that yummy goodness for making future soups.

Stansgran Fri 23-Dec-16 13:58:31

I ordered one from Dukeshill. Do so every year. Is there a terribly smug emoticon ?