Gifts for adult children

I stopped wearing jewellery years ago. I have never carried a handbag either. Both attract thieves imo.

We did a kind of 'Santa sack' this year. We got a lot of gifts which cost about £1 to £4 each. Marked them and put them on a table wrapped up. Then we made cards with corresponding numbers on them. People had to take a card. They could have had a bottle of bubble bath, bottle of beer, a jar of pickles, sweets, pair of fancy knickers, socks, chocolates, pack of cards, lipstick, anything really. You picked your number, got your present and then tried to do a deal with someone else who wanted to swap for their presents. I got a packet of nuts, but as dil would rather have those I swapped for a bag of haribos, then I swapped those with my little nephew for a jar of chutney. Great fun and everyone had a laugh trading, especially with the youngsters.

What is it with men? Always the last to go and buy presents, it is as if they have not had enough warning. I find myself racking my brains to think of things they could buy for me because I have most of what I need. I ask for garden vouchers (I got a tree lopper), or plants for indoors or outdoors, a peddle exerciser (which I didn't get but will be buying myself with Christmas money) and wool so I can knit something to keep my fingers working. I also got an IOU to go on the train to London to see the Royal Observatory (I am a sky watcher)and son will pay for the train ticket and take me to the museum. I asked if we could do it later in the year. One son got a sky diving voucher, another got a racing car experience. Beauty treatments for women in the local spa. A hair dressing voucher was one I got last year which came in very useful. Nephew got a new mountain bike (the bell was wrapped up for under the tree. One person asked for and got a fish steamer. Nephew got a tie with chemistry symbols on it because he is mad keen on chemistry. Another got silver cufflinks using his initials. He was thrilled to bits.

I agree Db, which is why we buy joint presents at Christmas.

My son (35) always says he hates Xmas and doesn't want any present at all, so I usually put money in a card. I notice he doesn't refuse it as a point of principle, it disappears into his wallet very quickly! My daughter likes opening things so she gets a present (a new backpack this year as hers was looking shabby) and money to make up the difference.

I usually give her a list of small things I would like, books, cds, etc and she buys something from her and something from my son, then when he panics the week before Xmas, he only has to hand her the money for my present!

Once they are grown up and married etc I feel it is up to SILs to buy them jewellery.
Maybe a "fun" piece if you are sure of their taste, but could be a minefield.

Not every woman wants jewellery.

Jewelry for females. Luxury food and booze for the men.

I give to charity on their behalf....

Last year we asked them and DD1 and her partner had money to buy a garden shed and DD2 and partner had money for a new wardrobe. They all had a small suprise present as well. This year I didnt ask. I bought both DDs Primark vouchers (they've just got one opened locally) and something from Yankee candles. One partner had a hoodies and a Dr Who alarm clock and the other partner a Batman lava lamp and a Netflix voucher. They all seemed very happy with their gifts.

Since my daughters were late teens we have bought them clothes. This has meant a shopping trip with the eldest, and handing over the money to the youngest. We get their partners something inexpensive, but nice.

Oh, I forgot our Secret Santa to offspring is a load of garden edging!

It's a relief to hear of so many Secret Santas and Nothings! We decided on Secret Santa amongst us and our DC several years ago and this year made it couples this year to make it even easier.

The main reason we switched to SS is because DH and I really don't want anything. If he wants something he buys it and, although I like to receive gifts, there is a limit to how many scarves I have room for. For Christmas this year I bought him a new camera bag, he bought me some art stuff and Secret Santa (DS and DiL) bought us a new bird table. That was the extent of our adult Christmas giving.

We don't do birthday presents either as otherwise our DC would need to reciprocate and 1) we don't want anything and 2) they can't afford it.

We do, however, give help and small un-birthday presents throughout the year if the opportunity crops up. That way they don't feel obligated to buy us something in return.

I have few to buy for so not such a problem for me, DM is 87 but this year I visited in December & bought her a solar lily for the garden, she so loved it that she opened my DD's card & found she had almost enough money for another one - back to garden centre - (she's happy)

DD didn't know what she wanted so I offered money so she can buy new clothes (DGC no2 expected in May, DGS is 6)

DD's OH is a Liverpool FC Fan & last Christmas I started a collection of Pin Badges - Birthday & Christmas sorted now & for about another year

I buy chocolate I know they like as an extra.

I got 2 new blinds (kitchen & bedroom window) - they did ask. I only moved in here last year & am going to re-decorate in my style, perfect gift. From DGS new School Photo

DGS is fairly easy (yet) & 2017 will see a new DGC to spoil.

Birthdays are often money as DD & her OH like tattoos & good ones tend to be expensive. For me it will be something for the garden as my Birthday is July.

PS I'd been asked for suggestions from DS & DiL and was delighted with what they'd given me as a result. Spot on, although I hadn't been specific they'd got it exactly right xx

By agreement I only exchange gifts with DS, DiL and DGS. Birthdays DS & DiL get money and DGS (age 7) gets a gift; Christmas everyone gets gifts.

This Christmas was a season of duplicates.

I bought my DiL some slippers - so did her mum, so I'll get a credit note for mine which she can then spend on what she wants.

I also bought her a book - and she bought me a copy of the same one!

As a stocking filler I'd bought DGS a fishing game - someone else had bought the same game. I'll keep one at my house so he can play with it here. I'd also bought for his stocking a mini table tennis set, complete with net - someone else got him 2 standard size size bats and balls.

The main present for DS and DiL was a joint 'experience' - with promise of childminding. That seemed to go down well

This year my son and his partner suggested Amazon wish lists.

At first I was 'anti", but there were a range of wants to chose from. Initially I found it difficult to ask for anything, but I looked at the sewing pages on the website and asked for things connected with my hobby that no one else would have thought of that I just wouldn't buy myself (like extra fine needles).

I also prepare a hamper each year of homemade goodies and some rather pedestrian items, that way I feel I am still caring for them

Brammar I PM'd you what I think is the right web address. I googled it. Hope its the right one. Its in London.

My DD1 is in and out my house everyday helping me so I have put cash in her account and told her and her OH to go out for a meal , they are away out tonight

We dont exchange any presents at all at Christmas, but we do give money to both our 'kids'. One of the reasons is that absolutely everyone in the family has a January birthday, so finding meaningful gifts for both occasions is hard. We collectively decided to only give birthday pressies about two years ago and it works very well. No racing round the shops with everyone else before Christmas, plus the opportunity to bag some bargains in the sales.

Jane10 I loved your idea of Andy Warhol pictures. I looked on the internet but could only find an American company. Could you let me know where you had yours processed. Thank you

Oh, and I tend to provide Christmas 'stockings'for the 4 of them - this year it was 2 large carrier bags per couple with all sorts ranging from tomato ketchup, maltesers, socks, undies & Florentines to books & DVDs. I usually buy far too much & hate wrapping the stuff but I love to see them opening the parcels

We have been giving our DS & DIL National Trust membership for about 5 years & they love to have it and use it to the full. Gave it to DD & SIL once & it was a complete waste of money. Fortunately, they decided they wanted to start a proper dinner service this Christmas so we contributed to that & will be able to do so for a few more Christmases & birthdays - birthdays are always more difficult. I usually buy clothes for DS& DIL and hope for suggestions from the other two!

We gave some, with partners, Cinema gift packs from Cineworld....£25 for two tickets, a voucher for two drinks and popcorn and two malteser chocolates.

For Christmas we do secret Santa, sometimes with a theme (last year hand made or second hand) and a price limit.
For birthdays we do wish list on amazon for lots of things we'd like with varying prices (similar to a wedding list). You don't have to buy the gift from amazon and you can add items that aren't for sale on amazon. This way we always get a gift we like.