Poor child

It is so distressing when we witness children being treated like that little girl. Perhaps it would be worth trying to engage the mother- she may be at the end of her tether and sometimes a kind word can diffuse a situation. Any criticism can make a situation worse and the mother more defensive, but it's difficult, there's no guarantee it will work.

Poor child! Many years ago I witnessed a similar situation .... It played on my mind for days ..... Resulting in me volunteering with a charity called 'Homestart'

It's a wonderful charity for parents under pressure. The volunteer befriends the family and visits once or twice a week. The volunteers are supported by a weekly meeting with a trained therapist for advice and to offload some of the depressing stuff they see!

I stayed with Homestart for several years and learnt a huge amount about family dynamics. I personally would never approach a stranger about her parenting .... But what you saw does leave a horrible taste in the mouth. How very sad for both the mother and the little girl. ??

Awful! Well done BOB I think the person being cruel to the child needs pulling up, in as nice a way as pos, maybe then they will look at themselves and realize that what they are doing is so wrong and unkind, and then correct their behaviour. If they are never pulled up about it they wont change and I shudder to think what goes on behind closed doors, if they can do that sort of thing in public to a small child!! [& the old neighbour]

In my youth many moons ago.......parents tended to behave like this, kids got slapped a lot, barked at and had to grow up quickly and assume child care responsibilities for siblings. Good hidings were the norm...........I am not so sure it is as damaging as we think.

Kindness is wonderful, and I would say something if I witnessed anything horrible... BUT remember, those kids love their parents as much as the kids of well cared for and supportive families, you only have to read this page to see how many kids turn their back on their family to appreciate how bloody complicated family life is!

Dear Rosesarered I know how you feel, I would have found this scenario unbearable, and it's not because this happened to me (maybe because it didn't). That child might be a real handful normally but it's never ever an excuse for bullying or abuse of this sort. So sorry you witnessed this. Sadly I instantly thought if Mum is prepared to act like this in public - then what goes on behind closed doors.

I am concerned about how often these kinds of scenes are happening now. There was an article in a local paper about a young mum pulling a child about and slapping her and what seemed to be the grandmother crying at the side of the mum and child. Adults and children passing by the scene were also upset. I see such scenes fairly often and I have seen other unpleasant things like an old neighbour being shouted at by her daughter and 2 grandchildren even after I went over and spoke to the lady.
I really would not know what to do about such a situation. It might be an idea if as grandparents we had information on what to do.

Perhaps the bag said 'Red Cross' or 'British Heart Foundation'

Of course, it could have been a recycled bag and the mother could have gone to Hamleys or Harrods with the child, we don't know do we, quite right Daddima, very well spotted.

Your children are all so lucky to be blessed with such wonderful parents.

So mine tell me.

empathy for you from me Luckygirl as well as , of course, for the little girl. I find it difficult not to intervene and once told a man who slapped his 4 year old daughter across the face for "she ran off and left me", that if he slapped me like that I'd have run off as well. I told him he'd assaulted this child and I was a witness, he was fortunate I wasn't calling the police. On reflection, I was fortunate not to be assaulted myself but the man backed off and I do hope he reflected on his own behaviour.
Many of us have been tired, hard up and feeling stressed parents of children. We don't forget how tough it can be but it's no excuse for emotionally abusing a child, bullying it and making the child miserable, lowering their self esteem rather than building it.

What really pees me off is parents hurrying along at a brisk pace with a small child in tow, the child trips and the parent yanks them up by the arm and tells them off. If that parent had tripped and fallen on the pavement how would they have felt if passers by had yanked them up and berated them for falling over? Daddima, I too am not sure of the point you are trying to illustrate?

I assumed it was a charity shop buy as it was not clean and all jumbled up in a plastic bag - the mother said it had been bought that morning. It was not a value judgement Daddima but simple observation. It was a lovely thing that should have given the child great delight.

Indeed the mother might have serious domestic problems that cause her to act in this way - I did make it clear that I felt for the mother too. I was a SW for 30 years - I know how these things go and the cycle of misery that leads to this sort of behaviour. Thankfully I did not become so hardened that I am not still distressed by seeing a child being emotionally abused, and sad that there was no intervention that I could make.

Indeed my children have been lucky - they have never been subjected to this sort of abuse. I make no apologies for that. That does not stop me caring about others (both mother and child) when I see this going on.

Am not sure what you are saying Daddima

How splendid of Lucky to have deduced that it was a " charity shop buy". Perhaps the mother may have been going home to another episode of abuse, physical or mental, or may have been struggling to cope with very difficult domestic issues.

Your children are all so lucky to be blessed with such wonderful parents.

Yes - if she would do that on a bus, what might she do at home? So sad.

When I see a mum or dad shouting at a child, I always have awful visions of what they may do to their child in their home, I worked in a social housing office and the way some of the parents shouted and swore at even the smallest child was awful.

I so dislike to see small children bullied by their parents. That was emotional bullying - it wasn't 'end of tether' frustration by a worn-out mother because I am sure most of us know what that feels like.

I always want to take them home with me and give them some attention and love.
Poor little scrap.

This poor mother was desperate to make that child cry - she pick, pick picked at her until she broke. And she took every opportunity to put her down. It was so distressing. I so wish there was something constructive that I could have done. A sad situation for them both, but the little lass is the innocent victim.

In contrast I was on a bus and a young mum got on with her 3ish yr old daughter. Her phone rang but she switched it off and spent the journey (about 10 mins) talking to the little girl about anything and everything. I was just about to tell her how nice it was to see when she got off. I regretted not saying something earlier.
Whether I would have the courage to say anything in a different situation .......... somehow I doubt it.

That's awful luckygirl I hate to see little ones being ignored surely it's easier to play and talk to them than it is to shout .well done Bob although a bit risky !

I worked in a big city centre for many years and saw several instances such as this. There was one occasion when I was in a large Department store and I could hear a baby screaming. It was obviously a very small baby and eventually I saw the mother standing by the make up counter testing lipsticks. The baby was about 6 weeks old, looked well cared for and the mother was very smart. The child was screaming and shaking, it had kicked its blanket over its face and was almost going purple. All the staff and customers were looking but the mother was humming to herself and totally ignoring this poor child. I have never forgotten it and felt bad that I didn't say something.

Oh dear it is distressing and its so difficult to intervene I do stare a bit if I see such behaviour publically but its very wet of me I know. I did have a neighbour who was seen so frequently doing this to her little boy but not the daughter and her nearer neighbour said she could hear her constantly shouting at the boy through the party wall so I did report it. I don't know what happened but they moved soon afterwards back to her parents house so hopefully that would have been more stable for the young lad.

I do find that the older I get, the worse it affects me to see casual cruelty of any kind, but particularly towards young children.

Sorry, not ww it's Lucky

Good for him Jane
It may work better coming from a man though, and ww would very likely have been told to F off.
Not interfering sometimes is the better option, and yet in others it is.A fine line.
That Mother may have been stressed as you say, we never know.

How awful. Poor wee thing. An elderly neighbour once told us about witnessing two young mums chatting on the bus. A small child with them was trying to get their attention. Her mum smacked her repeatedly and told her to shut up. The child subsided in tears. Well - Bob couldn't stand it. He got out of his seat and told that mum that if he ever saw her hit her child again he'd hit her himself and call the police. Result: red faced mum and round of applause from the other passengers. A risky strategy though!