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Feeling upset

(6 Posts)
notnecessarilywiser Sun 15-Jan-17 18:53:54

So you called her to say you were sick, she was a bit off when she took your call but came round to you shortly afterwards and phoned you that night to see how you were? And you've blanked her since? Sounds like there are two of you who are upset. After 25 years of friendship you should be able to talk this through with her.

br0adwater Sun 15-Jan-17 14:53:38

I hope that you feel up to calling her this evening. It just might emerge that she has problems of her own at the moment.

Anyway, I agree with Luckygirl about widening your circle of friends. In fact this friend seems to have little in common with you except memories of your late family and love of your dog. She rarely rings you; she doesn't sound very charitable despite her faith.

Maybe this episode will be a turning point where you decide to maintain the friendship but with a little less contact.

Luckygirl Sun 15-Jan-17 14:31:38

I cannot help wondering if there might not be some advantage in developing some other friendships or social life for yourself rather than feeling reliant on your friend all the time. If you are talking twice a day then that is a bit claustrophobic maybe for both of you.

I am sorry that you have this gut problem and hope that it will settle soon.

Marieeliz Sun 15-Jan-17 14:04:26

Thanks BrOadwater, she is out today she goes to Church on Sunday or has her niece for lunch. So I never ring until Sunday Evening. Tomorrow she goes collecting litter in Church Yard. Very religious so another reason for thinking not behaving in a caring manner. She is an ex medical person. Worked in Africa she can be quite hard at times.

br0adwater Sun 15-Jan-17 10:28:22


Such a close friend or sister would surely ring to see how you are getting on? If the last time I saw someone they were in pain, I'd call or offer to walk the dog.

I suggest calling her today and saying you're on the mend and sorry for being unable to ring until now. Maybe ask if she could walk the dog or bring you some shopping. Then you might have a chance to talk about Wednesday and find out why she reacted as she did.

Marieeliz Sun 15-Jan-17 10:14:45

On Wednesday I was due to go out to my friends I was taking the dog to be clipped. I suddenly got violent stomach pains. I literally could not stand. I pressed my friends no on the phone. Told her I could not come as I had violent pain. In a really cold tone she said "What can I do about it", she really sounded impatient. I said it's okay and put the phone down. I had tried to ring GP phones busy. Rang 111 they got a GP to speak to me. It was diverticulitis problem. She did turn up eventually and stayed while I got intructions from GP. I usually speak to her a couple of times a day. She did call me late on Wed night to see how I got on at GP.. I have no close family and she is my next of kin. I feel really upset and since the call on Wed have not rung her. I feel now that I cannot call her in an emergency. She will know I am upset as I have not called for 2 days it is usually me that calls.

I really get frustrated as she often instigates holiday planning gets me to look into trips and then goes cold on the idea. We have been friends 25 years she knew all my family before they died. So I consider her as like a sister but sometimes she really upsets me. In fact sometimes I feel she loves the dog more than me. Sorry for the rant I am feeling hurt