A nice young man rang this morning

Apparently my car has sometimes been involved in an accident. I tell them it wasn't me so, it must have been my husband. I can't believe he has been keeping things from me again, and it really is the last straw. That is it. The marriage is over!!

My usual response is to repeat the word 'hello' 3 or 4 times before hanging up.

I meant PTS!

I had a cold caller one day and told him I had PMT, doh! DH said it was the quickest he's heard anyone hang up on me!

A friend of my daughter's got one of those "You've had an accident" calls and sent into full blown "NOOOO!!!!!!! HOW AM I?????? NO, YOU MUST TELL ME - HOW AM I????????"

It's great to hear we are all very aware these are scams and they just want to take control of your computer so they can steal confidential information. Unfortunately an elderly lady in my area believed them back last year and gave them control..... police were involved and adverts went in local papers warning public of these scams.Love your reply bet his face was a picture.

Perhaps I should have said they were claiming to belong to 02.

Farnorth I'm not sure it was 02, could have been anyone. I don't do any business with cold callers. I go by the thought that if I want something I will go and buy it at my own prompt. Sadly can't trust anyone.

I love these calls, they claim to be from Microsoft, the line is usually as bad as their English, I upset one guy by asking if he really worked for Microsoft how come they couldn't afford to provide a clear phone line and employ people who could speak clear English; another I wound up by asking which computer? they kept asking me to turn on my computer so I just kept asking right back which one, if I have a computer with a problem which one is it? they hung up on me!! Had lots of problems with my phone line and now I don't get the calls anymore.

hopeful1, are you sure it was O2?

I got a guy, a few years ago, who politely and enthusiastically told me all the benefits of pomegranate, as supplied by him in capsule form. I declined to buy any and he suggested I could look at his website.

About one year later he called again and asked if I had seen the website. I had and I helpfully suggested that he should get a secure payment system on it, rather than rely on people phoning him, or answering calls like mine, and then handing over their card info.

I was very concerned that he could be losing trade because of people's reluctance to part with that vital info.

I think he was grateful to me for pointing it out.

Respect, Kittyl. ?
I would love to think I would do something similar given the chance.

Brilliant put down - well done!

Your mention of Jehova's witnesses, jusnoneed, reminds me of the story about the man who opened the door to see a pair who announced they were Jehova's witnesses. He said "you have my sympathy, I'm standing in the local election as a Conservative candidate"

I must admit when I have the time I string cold callers along, trying to see how long they will speak to me before they put the phone down. 02 lasted the longest trying to sell me phone insurance, after they repeated the offer 3 times, and 3 times 'I didn't understand at the point of them wanting to take my bank details' they hung up (an impressive 20 minutes later). I have never been contacted by them again, I probably have been filed in the mad cow file!

Slightly off track but the mention of Jehovah's reminded me, a friends husband answered the door to find two of them facing him. As soon as they started their speech he stopped them and asked if they believed in God. The reply of yes came and he just said "well if you don't get yourself off my property in the next 30 seconds you will be meeting him much quicker than you thought!" They soon vanished lol.

Exaltedwombat, I don't think anyone thinks these calls are anything other than a scam - that's why it's funny.

DD, in Belgium, pretends she doesn't speak French (fluent) and in UK answers cold callers in French and doesn't understand English, she doesn't get many repeat calls.

My son had a good wheeze, after letting them waffle on for a while he said "Bet you can't guess whst I do" "don't tell me, you're an f*****g software technician " "no" said my son "I work for the Staffordshire Police Cyber Crime Unit" bamg went the phone and he's never heard back, funny that! !

Oh dear, many of you in the UK appear to receive an extraordinary number of nuisance calls. Here in France we do have a few but " Sorry I don't speak French" (fib, I do), soon gets rid of them and they seem to cross us off the list.
Love the one about the cleaner - will use it the next time English speaking callers ring the bell - usually Jehovah Witnesses .They appear to have sussed out where the English folk live over here - divine intervention?

Sometimes I receive a call from some firm saying I entered a competition, didnt win but for taking part,they want to send me a present, when I say I dont want a present they say oh its this or that, again saying I dont want a present or need a present thank you, please give it to someone else, they are taken aback and dont call again.
Mind you I hope someone calls soon, I want to try out one of the suggestions in this thread!

My happiest moment was when a nice young man rang to tell me I could do something about nuisance calls - oh the irony!
He said I had been complaining about it,
"Oh no," I said, "It's not a problem. I don't have a phone."
At which point I replaced the receiver...

I have a' foreign language' which i use and seems to work as they hang up and calls are very few now. My family all do the same, although a friend has an air horn from the pound shop which she uses to great effect. Loved the vid?

GrannyBing there's the world of difference between nuisance calls and scams.

The one being described by Kitty in her OP is a SCAM - this 'nice young man' is not trying to sell you anything, he wants to take over your computer and hack into your bank details and passwords. He's a criminal.

Just my own theory, but I suspect some of these ideas about seeming to be old, forgetful or a bit dotty could encourage them to try again, or they'll sell your number on as someone 'vulnerable'. If you sound businesslike and in control I reckon they're less likely to hassle you.

When they claim there's a fault in your computer try saying "I don't know anything about computers but I'll ask my son - he works for the Interpol Cybercrime Unit"