Abuse in childrens homes

Just to balance that out[absolutely not taking anything away frmom what you wrote Luckygirl] I used to be a regular visitor to a young persons' education/part childrens' home for special needs young people.

In all my visits I was very impressed by how it was run.

Perhaps the difference was because it had the education part as well.

DM's next door neighbour (who moved in just after I left home with her husband and rather horrible daughter) was a young woman who had been brought up in the children's home further al not far from us; she was a bit older than me, but an absolute bag of nerves; I often used to wonder what had made her like that. The children's home was always an enigma to us and I never knew any of the children who lived there from school.
I liked her, she was a lovely, kind person but always anxious and nervous.

How sad. It does make you wonder and then most are made to be independent at 18 with no or little support. I've seen some blocks of flats that have been allocated to teenagers, some with problems. No surprise they go off the rails.

The report i heard on the radio mentioned the high number of homes run by religious orders in which abuse took place. An order of nuns called the Sisters of Nazareth was named. It is deeply shocking how often people who apparently dedicate their lives to God behave so badly. I think Ireland has uncovered much abuse in schools and homes run by the Christian Brothers and other orders. I went to a convent school and some of the nuns were bitter and unpleasant. Poor children.

I've heard of that too, sadly I think a lot more will come out. Pity for the children who might not have much chance.

The report I heard claimed children were abused in charity, state and religious care

I'm not trying to justify the vicious behaviour of priests and nuns at children's homes and I am only talking about violence not sexual abuse but they were following genuinely held beliefs at that time.

What we would class as violence against children was an accepted part of life where I grew up. My mam only used her hand (mind you I think she has steel bones) and my dad never touched us but I had friends who were belted by their dads. Schools were allowed to cane children. When I was eight a teacher smacked me on the legs because I did my sums as HTU but they were £sd so I got them all wrong.

I know some nuns and priests took the violence to the extreme but the Church taught that children were easily corrupted by the devil and that they must learn, at any cost, to do the right thing or they would go to Hell. When you look at it from that point of view i.e. saving a child's soul from the Devil then the treatment makes more sense.

I'm not saying what they did was right but times and attitudes change. We can't always judge a group of people by how they behaved in the past e.g. not all chimney sweeps in Victorian England were cruel child abusers. Climbing chimneys was a legitimate job for a child and most people didn't see anything wrong in it.

Its probably not too late to go back to social services, or something, luckygirl?
I'm sure there must be some way to maybe address historical abuse.

I think one way to tackle historical abuse is to make sure the institutions involved make a public apology, as the report apparently recommends. Compensation might help I suppose though the only way money can compensate is perhaps to pay for therapy or perhaps to allow those damaged to build themselves a better life.

I don't think the report was about occasional belts on the legs but about more systematic violence that would damage the future of children subjected to it. There is research showing that children exposed to violence in childhood are more likely later in life to suffer both mental and physical illness as a result, to have low self esteem and to achieve lower educational attainment and employment levels.

I would agree that if the abuse was genuinely historical then one might consign it to attitudes of the time but when it is more recent and perpetrators and victims are still alive, then you cannot ignore the damage done.

I first heard the news report on the car radio and only later heard that it was council homes also. I also heard later that it seemed to be focused on Northern Ireland, in which case the reference to abuse in religious institutions is even more relevant. The damage wrought in the name of the church was extensive and needs to be addressed because unless made public it will continue. I have heard some heart rending stories of victims of abuse struggling to get their abuse acknowledged by the church authorities and society at large. I think much is still covered up.

Well said Vampirequeen, in my junior school if one's handwriting was not neat a teacher held the child's fingers and hit the knuckles with a pencil, not one whack but many and it hurt . The head caned after checking if a child was left or right handed so he didn't cane the writing hand , it would be swollen .

Comparing fifty years ago or more with now is pointless .

Maybe it would help to have an apology but it should be qualified for legal purposes. We're sorry you were treated that way but that was the standard of the times. Of course we wouldn't do that to children these days because attitudes and behavioural standards towards children have changed.

I went to school with children who had belt and even buckle marks on their backs from being belted by their parents. Brutality wasn't limited to children in care. DH was hospitalised by his mother when he was about 8 years old and she broke his nose when he was 15. The first time it was accepted that he had accidently drunk bleach even though he told them that his mam had given it to him telling him it was lemonade. The second time wasn't even reported. Nowadays he'd have been taken away from her and she'd have been prosecuted.

Thankfully times have changed. I just don't like it when some elderly nun or priest or social worker who happens to be the only one left is pilloried for following what was given practice at the time.

I wasn't in a childrens home but I went to a Catholic school in the '50s and saw what I suppose would now be termed as 'abuse'. We were taught by teachers and also a strict order of nuns. My mother took me to school on my first day aged 5. I had no idea what was going on. There was no pre-school or nursery in those days. I was just taken and left as were many of us. I was so frightened that I wet my pants. The teacher pulled a chair out to the front of the class, stood me on it and said to the children 'look what this dirty little girl has done'. I saw (and suffered) many instances of this sort of thing. I have mentioned on here before my experience, aged about 7, of being put in a van on my own and taken to a delousing centre. I think, like Jalima s neighbour a lot of these children grow into nervous, anxious adults, including myself. That's how school was for many of us in those days.