Mums sayings.

l've just remembered one about when she'd been out for a pub lunch with my cousin, the woman at the next table had a mixed grill, and "it had everything on it but a monkey!"

When spending too much time getting ready to go out "nobody's going to fall off a galloping horse to look at you". We still use it in the family and no one appears crushed!

Not my mum, a favourite auntie would say
'you stand about as much chance as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest'

My grandmother's favourite was 'Lazy people take the most trouble' when I was trying to take a short cut in doing something. Sadly she was almost always right!

My Nan used to describe skinny kids as, "Like a matchstick with the wood scraped off!"

My Dad used to say, "Don't do as I do, do as I say," when we'd point out he did the same thing we were in trouble for.

"You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl!"

Red hat and no drawers.

Self-praise is no recommendation.

Right hand receive, left hand pay away. (When palm of hand is itchy.)

Under my arm. (When asked the whereabouts of something.)

Stand on your head. (When brother or myself were bored and asked her what we could do.)

And one from my spinster aunt: Someone's let Johnny out of prison. (Referring to flatulence.)

Whenever we asked mum what was for dinner, the reply was often 'wait & see' - for years I thought wait & see came in about 20 varieties!

Giggling at Swanny and the soap - I was another victim of that particular mum-treatment for being mouthy - Coal Tar soap in my case - tasted gross but didn't do much in the long-term about my language ;)

I've just remembered a rather 'choice' expression passed on from my
intemperate father to my brother which he would use when Mum wasn't listening: "You're like a f**t in a colander."

Go off at the deep end meaning lose your temper. If u asked where an adult was going the answer could well be 'going to take the dog for a walk'. Though we didn't have one!

Will the younger ones pass any on to our descendants?

When asked where my mum was going "round the corner and up Jack's arse!'

"That face'll turn the milk sour, lady!" When I was sulking. And "well, this'll not get the bairn a new coat" when she had to get on with things.

"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute!"

"She's no better than she should be!" A woman of questionable morals.

I'll knock you into kingdom-come!" (A smack)

If you don't stop I'll knock you into the middle of next week

When asking my mother where she was going when I was little she would say "I'm going to London to pick a white stone"!

Well, I've brought my pigs to a Bonnie Market! - (when things weren't going well)

Red hat, no drawers
Who does she think she is?
All done up like a dogs dinner

Slightly judgemental my Mum??

My friend made me laugh with an expression I had never heard before - He/she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

Queen Anne front, Mary Anne behind.
You're the little white hen that never laid away.
You put up the bullets for him (brother) to shoot
also 'fart in a colander'... the rudest thing I ever heard my grandmother say and that only once
If play interferes with work, give up work

I remember 99% of these sayings, Another one was, if someone was very lucky "if she fell off the Co-op she'd land in the divvy". Another was "I want doesn't get" which I still say to my GC.
Must be loads more, from all regions of the UK

Great reading these, I've laughed out loud! how they take you back.
My mum used to say, when referring to someone who was always getting things for nothing, ''they're either fishing or mending their nets'' Never made sense to me either, but my son still sometimes says it in fun, so it's stayed in the family. Another one was often said about someone she didn't like ''she's anywhere for a little apple'' also meaning someone who liked something for nothing.
My daughter always remembers my mum saying '' couldn't get vexed at that'' whenever you got something at a bargain price.

What is for dinner? Reply was What Paddy shot at!

If mum was busy and we were asking her to do something she'd say "stick a broom up my arse and I'll sweep the floor as I go"!! When I was older and had children asking me to do things when I was busy in the kitchen I'd say "got a broom handy?" and they all knew what I meant!