Mums sayings.

My MIL had a good one. Referring to someone she knew who would always try to go one better ( although she herself was the same ) - 'Oh her - if she hadn't got it downstairs it's in the loft.'

If i asked my Papa where he was going he would reply "to see a man aboot a dug" (about a dog) i always wondered why he never came home with a new dog

Fur coat no knickers

Snowing down south - if your petticoat was showing

Bit black over Bills mothers - about to rain

Like a fart in a bottle/Like a blue arsed fly -someone dashing around to no effect

You'd sell more if you filled the cup - if you gave a half-filled cup of tea

Taking the pictures down - Picking your nose

If I was upset because something had gone wrong, my grandmother used to say "well, worse things happen at sea!"

From my Irish ex-in laws - about someone skinny 'there's more fat on a chip'.
Also, a blind man on a galloping horse could have seen that coming!

'Politeness costs nothing' - I said it to my DC and now I. I'm saying it to the DGC...

I think this thread could run for quite a while....

'She looks like she's got a nasty smell under her nose' (stuck up)

'Girls who sit on tables don't get married'

'You're like the donkey's tail - always the last to arrive'

'Self praise stinks'

'You look like you've lost a shilling and found a farthing'

I'll go t'foot of our stairs

Keep your 'and on you 'alfpenny

All fur coat & no knickers

Like Piffy on a stick

Two kicks at Pantry door (when I asked what was for tea)

My DH used to say when the kids said "it's not fair" "neither's
a black man's bum"

This has given me a good laugh today & brought back memories

Just remembered this one, probably indicates that we have low standards in our family-
About something which was not as sparkingly white as it once was. "It's like the old woman's dishcloth" (It will dry a better colour!)

some from my DH Aunt
if you looked a bit untidy " you look like the wreck of the Hesperus"
if she was a bit thirsty "my mouths as dry as Gandhi's flip flop"
for someone on the skinny side, " she likes two planks of wood stuck together"
someone who talked a lot was "like a gob on a stick"

memories

My father used to say he had seen better hair on tuppenny bacon, commenting on my straight hair.

"A run round t'table" when you asked what was for tea.

It'll not be long now, as the monkey said when the train ran over its tail.

Hard lines, as the man said when he fell off the train.

I look like a hoor at a flittin'.

Do you think it's outside you're in?

For tea it was either tripe & treacle or straw & caramels.

My father welcomed you with, " Come away in, there's a gill sent for", and it was, " Mind your heid on the lobby lamp" when you were leaving.

The man who ate the bilet ham raw was his answer to a " who?" question, and for "where?" It was the back o' Benachie.

He also often went to see a man aboot a dug.

And many, many more!

'I see no ships, only hardships' ..didn't get that at the time as I was only 5 and we lived on a hill overlooking the docks in which there were plenty of ships..

'It'll be alright when my ginger sailor comes home' .....ok not meant anything to me UNTIL one dark night there was a knock at the door and this poor young GINGER sailor stood there ,,,I think I was about 6 and I flew down the hallway screaming Mummy Mummy your Ginger Sailor is at the door ! (we lived near to the 'Sailor's Rest' by the docks which had a green door and we had a green door so he must have got lost !(many years later I heard that phrase from an old music hall song !)

'You can go (down to the sea shore) tomorrow if there is enough blue in the sky to make a sailor a pair of trousers'....as I was very small I had no idea how much blue that would take !

Red sky at night, sailors delight, Red sky in morning, sailor's warning'

Not sure why all these related to sailors ...my mother was born in Frinton on Sea (before it was considered posh ..her dad was the driver of the express' train to London (not sure how long that took back then ! and a spare time Lifeboat man ....later my dad was an engineer ...we did have a lot of sailors about as we lived not far from HMS Ganges boys sailor training school (funnily enough, I was born in 1947 and my second husband (although I didn't obviously know then !) was a boy seaman trainee at the age of 15 on 1948 at HMS Ganges at Shotley ! Small world !

My mother's favourite saying was 'Oh there was such a nasty atmosphere' if someone said or did something she didn't like. Unfortunately she always said atmos-pier. And she always said pizza was pisa, because she said it didn't have a think in it, she thought everyone else was wrong

Don't know why she's so stuck up, they haven't got a pot to piss in.
I'll go to the foot of our stairs. Up Brierly Hill (going to bed). The bird always come home to roost (meaning wrong doings will always come back to you). Not the brightest star in the sky. When we enquired when dinner would be ready she said I don't know, I'll ask it.

Charlie's dead - petticoat showing

"Holding it out like a cut finger"
When we aske what was for pudding, "wait and see" usually meant rhubarb crumble and custard (we didn't like rhubarb)
Sadly, my mum told me that if you invited a man in for coffee he would not only expect sex but - crucially - he was entitled to it!! Have spent most of my life getting rid of that one.

Me too Swanny!! ?

This week cock of the walk, next week a feather duster, if someone was setting themselves up for a fall

"All my eye and Betty Martin." Think my gran meant someone was making something up. Odd that one, isn't it?
If someone wasn't looking well, she'd say "eeeh he's looks as queer as Dick's hatband". Makes me laugh thinking back ?

If the place was untidy - "it looks like wooky hole in here!"
If something was dirty "as black as newgits knocker!"

My mum had hundreds all said in a wry broad Oldham accent..........
She's got a face you could chop wood on.
You could leave him on't doorstep all night and nobody 'd run off wi him.
Anybody can stoop down and pick nowt up.
He could peel an orange in his pocket (being miserly)
A full belly can't feel for an empty one.
Were you born wi rag hands? (when you are expecting someone else to get something for you)
Anybody can work for nowt and tea there own dinner.

Stop climbing that fence/tree/wall or whatever it was ,if you fall and break your neck dinna come running to me.