Mums sayings.

If you were spending too much time getting ready to go out my mother would say "come on, hurry up, no-one's going to get off their horse to look at you!"

"Thick as two short planks" - when we did something stupid!

"You'll think of me one day, my mother used to say that to me when I was a girl" - when we did something naughty or were fighting!

"Put that in your pipe and smoke it" - after delivering a smart retort to anyone !

I think I've said all three in my time too!

If I fancied someone, my Nan would say, when I asked her what she thought "ever seen my arse on a windy night?"

'What's for dinner?'

'Neck of nothing and no turnips'

You're like a tit in a trance!

loved reading these... takes me back. My mum would say if you were trying to do something and were cack handed about it
"give it to me you're like a fart in a colander that can't get out for holes"

if we asked what was for tea. it was a wigwam for wild duck" or Duck and Pea, duck under the table and pea outside!

Ask no questions, get told no lies.
There and back to see how far it is
Back of Bill's mother's to see Mary (Both when you asked where someone was going or had been)
Well I'll go to the end of our street (that was actually my grandad)
Pride feels no pain (when she was doing my hair and pulling)

A friend of mine says when shocked "Blood and sand and stomach pills"

So many of these are familiar/ especially bread and pullit, keep your hand on your ha'penny, your sitting on a fortune, rough as a badgers arse, the dead can't hurt you only the living can etc. My parents had a lovely line in funny old sayings there's not one here I haven't heard!
Can I add "take your coat off or you won't feel the benefit" and " what's that old enemy say?" When asking for the time. "Out of the way, let the dog see the rabbit" when taking over a task you were failing at.

From an elderly lady who was tired out.. "I'm like an ha'porth of soap after a hard days wash"

I'll knock you into next week (meaning a smack)
I'm not as green as I'm cabbage looking (meaning I'm not daft)

'A blind man would be glad to see it'

'If the wind changes you'll stay like that'

'Blood is thicker than water'

'She / he's very full of herself/ himself'

'She / he can't see further than their nose'

"What's for dinner?"
"Windmill pudding:if it goes round we all get a bit"
Same question but different answer from Durham friend's Mum:
"Whale's brains and cabbage"
Mum thinking herself trendy spoke to my son of,"The Remarkable Hunk" (Incredible Hulk!)

'A job worth doing is worth doing well' was the one I heard all the time. Mother was a hard taskmaster.

Wendy4, you must be my sister, I can just hear my mother saying these words

Cats lick and a promise was a quick wash

What's for you will no go bye you.

Put your coat on - if you didn't have one you'd always be wearing it !

No I've no idea what she meant either !!

When asking what for dinner the stock replies were 'shit and sugar' of bread and pullit ' (or so I thought til I realised as an adult it was poulette, a young chicken!!)
Very weirdly my father (drunk at the time) told me to "sit on it coz it'll be worth something one day"!! Being a kid at the time I'd no clue!!!

I hope your rabbit dies and you can't sell the hutch!

If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?

Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall.

If you keep making that face, it’ll freeze that way.

My dad used to say 'you'd laugh to see a pudding roll' and about anyone who got away with things 'if he fell in shit he'd come up smelling of roses'.
MIL used to say 'not a child in the house washed' if time was getting on.

What's for tea would get you ' Bread and ifit !'

What's 'ifit?'

If its in the cupboard you can have it.

If I was going to church parade with the guides my Dad would say 'Sister Anna is carrying the banner' as I left ( bizarrely)

If my Dad was surprised by something he would say 'Stone the crows!'

Mum used to say "red hat, no drawers". She found it hilarious that I married a military policeman, who are known as Redcaps.

Marieeliz - when my nana wasn't dressed or improperly dressed she would say 'I'm in my disabilly' which we think was from deshabille - French for undressed! Does that explain your decibels?